How to tell

如何辨别

In very simple terms, if you are spreading negativity, then negative people will surround you. Have you heard the saying, “misery¹ loves company”, and wondered why? Basically, people do not like to be told they are wrong. If someone wants to have a good moan, they will choose a fellow moaner to complain to, as this experience will validate² them.

简单的说，如果你在散播负能量，那么消极的人就会围绕着你。你听过这句话吗？就是“同病相怜”。纳闷为什么？基本上，人们不喜欢他人告诉自己错了。如果有人想要很好地发牢骚，那么他们会选择一个爱发牢骚的同伴去抱怨，因为这样就能证明他们的牢骚是由道理的。

How to turn it around

如何改变现状

This does not require a fortnight at a mindfulness retreat in Bali – sorry to break it to you. It does not require extensive regression therapy or a shamanic ritual in a rain forest. And you do not need to dance through the streets singing show tunes³ and sprinkling glitter.

这并不需要去巴厘岛静心反省两周——很抱歉阻止你。这并不需要大量的回归治疗或者在雨林中萨满教僧的仪式。你也不需要伴随着街上哼唱的流行曲调和点缀的灯光来跳舞。

Our outside world is a mirror for our inside world, and vice⁴ versa

我们的外部世界是内心世界的反映，反之亦然

What we see with our eyes is not really the truest representation of reality. Everything our eyes take in is filtered through our brain, and we have a certain degree of choice as to what we mentally attend to.

我们用眼睛所看到的一切并不是现实真正的展现。我们用眼睛看到的一切都经过了大脑的过滤，而且我们会在一定程度上选择我们大脑所注意的事情。

This is not about choosing to turn a blind eye to bad things. It is about ‘seeing’ everything, but ‘focusing’ on the good in a situation, wherever reasonably possible. And conversely, when you expect to see more good, you will.

这并不是说要选择对不好的事情视而不见。而是要“看”一切，但是要“集中注意”处境中好的方面，这在任何地方都是合情合理的。

Gratitude⁵ journaling

感恩日记

Have you tried gratitude journaling? I did this for a month and it helped me to form better habits. Every time I thought about something that was bringing me down, I would list three things I was grateful for. I know it sounds simplistic, but often the best answers are the simple ones.

你试过写感恩日记吗？我写了一个月的感恩日记，这帮助我养成了更好的习惯。每当我想到某些让我失落的事情的时候，我就会列出我感恩的三件事。我知道这听起来很简单，但是往往最好的答案就是最简单的那一个。

If you have a lot on your plate at work you could also try the ‘ta-done’ list, a technique described by Lisa Nichols, famous for her contributions to the Chicken Soup For The Soul series.

如果手头上有许多工作要做，那么你也可以试试“任务完成”清单，这是由莉莎·妮可丝所描述的一个技巧，她以心灵系列的鸡汤贡献而出名。