Sure, you might think that if you were truly in love with someone, you wouldn't be able to have feelings for someone else. But sometimes this can actually happen - and it can be emotionally draining, as your heart gets pulled in two directions.

当然，你可能会想：如果你真的爱着某人，你是不可能对其他人有感觉的。但有时候这种情况的确会发生--如果两个人都在牵动着你的心，那你可能会觉得筋疲力尽。

Though, it is worth noting the difference between lust¹ and love, as lust might represent more physical, sexual chemistry with a partner, and it's likely to be a more immediate², short-term affair. (Here's a guide to knowing if your love is real.)

虽然，了解欲望和爱之间的区别十分值得，因为欲望可能更注重与另一半在身体和性生活方面的契合，而且也更有可能是一种短暂的、瞬间即逝的婚外情。（跟着我们的指南，看看你是不是真的爱他/她吧。）

1. Slow Down

1. 别着急

"The feeling of being in love makes everything seem to feel urgent, quick-moving, and amplified³. But if you're going to have to make a super tough decision here, and perhaps say goodbye to someone you feel you love - for their sake and yours, and to help ensure you make a wise decision - you really need to slow things down," he says.

"感觉自己恋爱了会让一切事情都显得那么急迫、快速以及放大。但如果你不得不做出一个特别困难的决定，也许要对你爱的人说再见--为了自己、为了他们，你一定要确保自己做出了明智的决定--你真的得放慢脚步，"他说道。

It's time to pump the brakes and try and take control over the overwhelming, intoxicating⁴ emotion you feel. Additionally, the act of trying to slow things down with the people you love will have some perks⁵: it'll help you parse⁶ out any residual⁷ confusion you may be experiencing between the emotions of lust and love, he explains.

是时候踩刹车，控制这一压倒性的、令人陶醉的情绪了。此外，试图对你爱的人放慢脚步还会有些福利：这将帮你分析爱情和欲望之间的任何令你混淆的感情，他解释道。

2. Pick One

2. 选一个

Sure, this might be tough, as you'll want to spend as much time with these two people as possible, but you can't keep both around. Sad but true - you can't have it all, here (unless that's something you all agree upon!).

当然，这个过程可能很难，因为你很想尽可能地和这两个人一起度过美好的时光，但你可不能脚踏两只船啊。很悲伤，但也是事实--鱼和熊掌不可兼得。（除非你们三个人都能同意！）

"Without a doubt, maintaining a true, loving relationship requires a heavy investment of time, heart, money, and attention, and these things are finite. And even if the people you love right now are happy with you, do realize that relationships are not frozen in stone, and they may need 'more' from you in the future," he says. So, even if it's fine being with two people right now, that can easily change.

"毫无疑问，维系一段真挚的恋情需要投入大量的时间、心力、金钱、注意力，而这些都是有限的。即使你现在爱的人和你在一起很开心，但你也得意识到这段恋情并非一成不变，或许未来他们还想从你身上得到更多，"他说道。所以，即使现在和两个人在一起你很满足，但世事无常啊。

And, it's almost impossible to be open with both of the people you're in love with about your polyamorous feelings, so even if one of your SOs says they're "cool" with you being in love with other people at the same time, the odds⁸ are that jealousy⁹ will appear in the relationship.

而且，你很难与你爱的两个人谈论你多情的情感，所以即使另一半中的一个说他/她不在意你同时爱着另一个，但他/她嫉妒另一个人也不是不可能的。