4. You've been single a long time and are set in your ways

4、你单身太久，已经习惯了自己的生活方式

The longer you live as a single person, the more independent and self-sufficient you're forced to become. While this is not necessarily¹ a bad thing, if taken to the extreme, it can hinder² your efforts to find a mate³. If you're used to doing everything yourself and for yourself only, it may be very difficult to let someone else into your life even though you may crave⁴ that closeness.

你单身的时间越久，你就迫使自己变得越独立、越靠自己。这并不是坏事，但如果走向极端，会阻碍你找到另一半。如果你习惯了凡事亲力亲为，而且只为自己而做，也许就很难让另一个人走进你的生活，哪怕你也许渴望这种亲密。

Unfortunately, this becomes more and more true as we get older. I'm pretty set in my ways myself and all I can hope for is that if the right one does come along, that I will let him break through my wall of independence that I have created.

不幸的是，随着我们渐渐长大，事情就越是如此。我已经非常习惯按自己的方式生活，我唯一能期望的是，如果那个对的人真的出现了，我会允许他打破我已经建立起来的这座独立的墙。

5. You're just too picky

5、你太挑剔了

Yes, we all want to have a Brad Pitt or Megan Fox type hanging off our arms but it's just not going to happen. Even if we don't want that, we have a list in our minds of traits⁵ that our future soulmate must possess and sometimes that list can be rather long, perhaps too long.

是的，我们都想要一个布拉德·皮特这样的帅哥或是梅根·福克斯那样的性感美女挽着我们的胳膊，但这太不现实了。哪怕我们期望没这么高，我们心里都列出了未来的灵魂伴侣必须符合的条件，有时这些条件还不少，也许太多了。

While nobody wants to "settle", you might want to ask yourself if everything on your list is really that important. Does it matter that much how tall the person is? How much money they make? What color hair they have? It might be worth relaxing some of your standards and seeing what kind of results you get. Remember, nobody is perfect.

没有人想被他人的条件“框定”，你也许应该问问自己，这些条件真的都这么重要吗？这个人的身高很重要吗？他赚多少钱很重要吗？他/她的头发是什么颜色很重要吗？你也许应该把自己的标准放宽一些，然后来看看结果如何。记住：完美的人不存在。

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