Friends in your life are like pillars on your porch. Sometimes they hold you up and sometimes they lean on you. Sometimes it's just enough to know they're standing¹ by. Friendship doubles your joy and divides your grief, and that the most beautiful discovery that true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.

在你的一生中，朋友就如支撑门廊的柱子，有时他们支持着你，有时也依赖着你。只要你知道他们一直在你身边就已足够。友情会使你的快乐翻倍，让你的痛苦减半。而最重要的发现是真正的朋友不会因为分隔两地而产生隔阂。

Easily the most important place to have a friend is in marriage. For that reason, marriage counselors² continually advise husbands and wives to be friends, pointing out that you may divorce your spouse³, but you don't divorce your friend.

我们很容易想到，最喜欢朋友角色的地方就是婚姻。因此，许多婚姻顾问都建议丈夫和妻子成为彼此的朋友，因为你可以离开你的伴侣，但你绝对不会离开你的朋友。

Friendship stabilizes⁴ relationships in the business and social worlds as well. A friendship is priceless and should be cherished, cultivated, and nurtured⁵.

友情同样在职场和社交生活中起稳固作用。友情无价，它需要被珍惜，培养和经营。

1. Remembering the golden rule

1. 牢记黄金准则

Without a doubt, the greatest human relations principle is to treat other people like you want to be treated. Friendship requires many qualities — unselfishness, genuine care for the other person, and the ability to listen when the other person needs to talk, to name a few. When you show respect for your friends and gratitude⁶ for their friendship, you'll be blessed in untold⁷ ways.

毋庸置疑，最坚不可摧的待人原则就是待人如己。友情需要许多品质：对他人无私，真诚的关怀，当他人需要时倾听对方的心声。当你表达对朋友的尊重和对这份友谊的感恩之情时，对你的庇佑和祝福也会通过各种方式来到你身边。

You can't know what has gone on in the rude person's life that day, but you can assume that his or her day hasn't gone well. Maybe a loved one lost his job, her boss reprimanded her unjustly, he's coming down with the flu, or she just found out that her teenager is doing drugs.

也许你的朋友那天表现得非常粗鲁无礼，你也许不知道在他身上到底发生了什么，但你可以假设他/她过得并不开心。也许是爱人失业了，也许是她的老板训斥她办事不公，可能是他染了流感，抑或是她刚发现自己的孩子在吸毒。

Whatever the cause of the rudeness, you don't have to accentuate⁸ the problem. A kind word or a gentle, understanding smile may help the person more than returned rudeness would.

无论是什么理由让他/她如此野蛮无礼，你也不需要去强调人家的错误。比起同样粗鲁的行为，用一句友好的问候、一个善解人意的笑容作为回应，更能帮助他们。

2. Considering foes¹⁰ as friends

2. 视敌为友

A friend looks after your own good, is attached to you by affection, and entertains other sentiments of esteem¹¹. On the other hand, a foe⁹ is someone who isn't interested in your well-being¹².

朋友会照顾你的利益，因为彼此的情感而重视支持你，认真对待你的情绪。相反，敌人不会在意你的幸福。

Yet some students view their teachers as enemies. However, a student's success in school partly depends on the teacher's effectiveness in the classroom. Instead of being an enemy, a teacher who corrects you and helps you to achieve can be the best friend you ever had.

有些学生把他们的老师视为敌人。但是一个学生在学校里的成功部分是取决于老师在课堂上的成效。不要把他们当敌人，帮助你纠正错误取得成功的老师应该是你拥有的最好的朋友！

This kind of thinking, along with a little attitude adjustment, helps you to convert foes to friends, and both of you are better off.

这种思维方式伴随你态度上的转变，会帮助你将敌化友，而你们双方也会感觉舒服很多。

3. Making friends by being an optimist¹³

3. 乐观达人广交好友

Do you enjoy being around a pessimist¹⁴, someone who is generally described as being able to brighten up a room just by leaving it? The answer is obvious. Most people prefer to be around people who believe that tomorrow is going to be better than today, rather than people who believe that today is even worse than yesterday.

你喜欢和一个悲观主义者呆在一起吗？那种一离开房间大伙儿就开心地不得了的人？答案显而易见。大多数人愿意和相信明天会更好的人交朋友，而不是那些哀叹今天比昨天更糟的人。

Optimists¹⁵ spread cheer wherever they go and make others feel good about themselves. That's a guaranteed way to make friends.

乐观达人们所到之处都能传播欢笑，也使他人喜欢自己。这是结交朋友的一个保证条件哦！

4. Capturing the pleasing personality

4. 培养讨人喜欢的个性

Virtually every time you say that so-and-so has "charisma," you're really talking about so-and-so's great personality. When he walks into a room, he has a presence — not just looks — that attracts attention from people around him. Or when she's in a crowd, you soon hear a soft buzz coming from the area where she is.

事实上，当你每次赞美某某有风范气质时，你其实就是在谈论他迷人的个人魅力。当他走进房间，他的存在（不单单是他的长相）就会吸引在场的人。或者是即使当她在蜂拥的人群中，你也能很快听到其悦耳的声音从她所在的地方传来。

How do you develop a pleasing personality? Here are some steps you can take:

如何才能使培养讨人喜欢的性格呢？下面有几个步骤：

Smile when you see someone. You don't have to give a wide grin — just a pleasant, friendly smile.

遇到他人时微笑。你不需要哈哈大笑，只需要一个愉悦友好的微笑。

Speak in a pleasant, upbeat tone of voice. Talk to people as if they are good friends, even if they don't really fall into that category yet.

用积极向上的语气和人交谈。说话时把每个人看成你的朋友，即使他们根本还算不上是你的朋友。

Take a course in public speaking. The ability to express yourself attracts favorable attention from many sources.

进修公共演讲课程。表达能力会使你吸引到四面八方的注意。

Develop a sense of humor. Pick up a couple of joke books. This makes you a little more outgoing and friendly. When you combine that quality with the ability to express yourself before a group, your confidence grows.

培养自己的幽默感。选择几本笑话书，这会使你更加开朗和友好。当你把这样的品质和表达能力在一群人面前展现出来时，你的自信就会提升。

Don't criticize unjustly

不要不公正地批判他人

Instead of being eager to dish out criticism all the time, take the humane¹⁶, sensible approach. Look for the good in other people. Encourage them. Build them up.

不要总是急于将你对朋友的批评一股脑儿倒出来，试试采用更亲切也更理智的方式。试试去寻找其他人身上的优点，鼓励他们，帮助他们建立自信。

Most people seldom think through each situation completely and consider the other person's point of view. If you take the time and effort to do this, you'll end up with more friends.

大多数的人很少彻底地想清楚对方的情况，考虑别人的意见。如果你花点时间和精力去做到这一点，你就会有更多的朋友。