Awkward Silence.

令人尴尬的沉默。

When trying to persuade someone, you are basically negotiating with them. They are stuck in their ways, and you want them to do things your way.

当你试着去说服某个人的时候，你其实是在和他们商讨。他们沉陷在他们的方法之中，而你想要他们按照你的方法去做事。

In negotiations¹, you sometimes need to break someone down and get them to negotiate with you. Persuasion² works the same way. You need to break them down and if you do that they will start considering what you say.Awkward silence does the trick. People do not like being uncomfortable. If you make someone feel uncomfortable, they will most likely speak up. When they do they will almost always ask a question. Once they do, the breakdown³ process begins.

在商榷过程中，你有时候需要制止住某人，使他们与你商讨。用样地，说服也是同等道理。你需要制止他们，因此他们就会开始考虑你所说的。令人尴尬的沉默非常有用，人们不喜欢不舒服的状态。如果你让某个人感觉到不舒服，他们将很有可能表民田他们的看法。但他们开始表明看法时，他们通常会追着一个问题不放。一旦他们这么做，那么制止进程开始了。

I know this sounds crazy, but I use it all the time and it works.

我知道这听起来有点疯狂，但我一直用这个办法并且很有效。

What is the greatest persuasion tactic⁴ to use?

怎样说服别人最有效？

Reciprocity is frighteningly persuasive⁵. We are programmed to give something back to someone when they have given something to us. Sales people use this tactic all the time. That little free sample is not free. It tells our brain that we owe the person something in return. This sets up up to give something back which can be worth a lot more than the item which we received.

互惠性是非常有说服力的。我们通常在别人赠与我们东西后也会回馈东西给他们。销售人员经常使用这样的手法。小小的免费样品其实并不免费，它在告诉我们，我们欠了别人东西需要赠还。通常我们赠还的东西往往比我们收到的东西价值还高。

Here is an example:

举个栗子：

You are sitting at lunch with an out of town client. The check arrives and you both reach for it. He gets to the check first and you say: “Let me pay for the meal”, and the client says: “No, I will pay for it and you can get it next time I am in town”.

你和一个乡下的顾客一起吃午饭。账单来了你们几乎同时拿到。他抢着去付款，你说：“让我来吧,”这个顾客说还是我来吧，下次你来。

Even though you appreciate it, something bothers you internally. A week later the client calls you for a favour that is not included in the contract that you would not normally say yes to, and you say yes without thinking of it because the reciprocity principle has set up unconsciously in your brain that you owe him something, and therefore you are compelled instinctually to do that.

即使你觉得很感激，但偶尔会扰乱你的心神。一周后，那位顾客向你索要了优惠，而这些并不包含在合同里面。但你一定会答应，因为互惠原则提醒你你欠他某些东西，因此你不得不这么做。