Both men and women become less agreeable.

你们都变得不再那么亲和。

To be frank, this one is kind of a bummer - marriage, it seems, immediately turns people meaner and more curmudgeonly¹. Lavner, though, has a theory that puts a slightly more positive spin on the finding: Marriage is hard, and so is adjusting to it. "They're coming to terms with their new status, and that can involve new arrangements in terms of living, and financial, emotional, and physical interdependence," he says. "It also may be, to some degree, a sense that actual marriage is not the same as their ideal marriage." Coming down from the newlywed high and landing in real life would make anyone cranky.

坦率地说，这是令人感到不快的点--婚姻似乎能立马让人变得更苛刻、更不和悦。尽管如此，拉夫纳（Lavner）提出一个理论，对这一结果提出了更积极的看法：婚姻不易，适应婚姻也很困难。"新婚夫妇正在接受新的状况，包括生活、财务、情感和身体相互依赖等方面的新安排，"他说道。"可能在一定程度上，这也意味着真实的婚姻和他们理想中的婚姻并不一样。"从新婚的高空坠入到现实生活，这种心情可能会让人胡思乱想。

Women become less open and men become less extroverted².

女性变得不那么开放、男性变得不那么外向。

Another two changes that seems like a strike against the whole marriage thing - get hitched³, immediately fall into a rut - but Lavner believes these are actually kind of warm and fuzzy. "It may be that there's more focus on the relationship and less on other levels of social involvement," he says. How to feel about these shifts, in other words, may depend on your perspective: What looks to a friend like a slight withdrawal⁴ from social life may, to a spouse⁵, look more like a renewed commitment to spending time together.

这两个变化似乎又是对婚姻的一大重击--结婚，立马陷入俗套--但拉夫纳认为这实际上是很温暖的、令人感动的行为。"可能是你们更关心自己的感情、不再那么在意社交活动，"他说道。换言之，对这种转变的感受可能取决于你自己的想法。朋友所认为的抽离了社交生活于你而言可能更是一种全新的承诺：夫妻要花时间呆在一起。

Women become less neurotic⁶ and men become more conscientious⁷.

女性变得不那么神经质、男性也变得更为认真。

First, let's clarify what "neurotic" means here, which is a little different from the way the word is commonly used: In the context of the Big Five, it refers to a tendency toward negative affect, or how likely a person is to become anxious, sad, or any other unhappy emotion. Past research suggests that women, on average, tend to score higher in neuroticism⁸ than men.

首先，先澄清一下此处"神经质"的含义，与通常情况下的用意稍有区别。在五大人格特质（the Big Five）的背景下，它指的是一种负面影响的倾向，或是一个人变得焦虑、伤感或有其他不快情绪的可能性。过去的研究表明：女性，平均而言，往往比男性更为神经质。

They also tend to be more conscientious - and both of those findings, Lavner explains, may come into play here, with people taking on more of the positive qualities of their partner. The change in men "may reflect the fact that their wives are encouraging them to be a little more conscientious," he says, while the change in women may be the same rubbing-off effect in reverse.

他们也往往更加认真--这些研究结果，拉夫纳解释道，都可能在此发挥作用，因为人们越来越多的呈现出另一半身上的积极品质。男性发生的变化"可能反映了这样的事实：他们的妻子正鼓励他们更认真，"他说道，而女性的变化可能是相反的摩擦效应。