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添加时间:2018-06-08 09:25:37 浏览次数: 作者:未知
  • 1. "You never..." or "You always..."

    1. "你从来不……"或"你总是……"

    "These all-or-nothing phrases are typically exaggerations and used to illustrate1 a point or elicit2 an emotional response. However, these statements are often inaccurate3 (e.g., 'You never listen to me!') and can set your partner up to become defensive4. As a result, they'll likely miss the true message of what you are trying to say and will instead focus on proving you wrong, leading to a circular conversation or argument that goes nowhere.


    "Instead, be specific and objective about what is bothering you, use an 'I' statement, and stick to the facts. For example, 'I felt hurt and disregarded yesterday when I asked you to pick up your things before our company arrived and you didn't. Next time we have guests, I'd really appreciate the help.'"


    2. "You're acting5 just like your mother."

    2. "你现在的行为和你妈一样!"

    "Or brother, crazy best friend or drunk uncle, etc. This move dismisses whatever issue is on the table and goes straight for character assassination6. The strategy here: If you're losing the argument, kill your opponent. Yes, you may well act like your mother, but that's not the point."



    3. "I'll talk to you when you can be rational."

    3. "等你恢复理智,我再和你说话。"

    "This is hardly a rational statement. It's meant to inflict7 emotional injury rather than ask for a timeout. When arguments get heated, a timeout to let the cortisol and adrenaline settle (for about 20 minutes) is a good idea. Identify the chemical cause: 'We're getting too elevated -- I know I am. It's that damn cortisol and adrenaline! Let's take 20 minutes so we can talk respectfully like we want and deserve.'"


    4. "We're done! I'm out of here!"

    4. "我们结束了!我要离开这儿!"

    "Words do matter. Avoid saying things you'll regret later. Threatening abandonment is probably the most hurtful thing you can say or do to your partner, especially if you really don't mean it. It's one thing to want to take a breather, get some space and cool down. It's another to basically say, 'I don't love you anymore and am leaving.'"


     9级    双语 


    1 illustrate [ˈɪləstreɪt] IaRxw   第7级
    • The company's bank statements illustrate its success. 这家公司的银行报表说明了它的成功。
    • This diagram will illustrate what I mean. 这个图表可说明我的意思。
    2 elicit [iˈlɪsɪt] R8ByG   第7级
    • It was designed to elicit the best thinking within the government. 机构的设置是为了在政府内部集思广益。
    • Don't try to elicit business secrets from me. I won't tell you anything. 你休想从我这里套问出我们的商业机密,我什么都不会告诉你的。
    3 inaccurate [ɪnˈækjərət] D9qx7   第9级
    • The book is both inaccurate and exaggerated. 这本书不但不准确,而且夸大其词。
    • She never knows the right time because her watch is inaccurate. 她从来不知道准确的时间因为她的表不准。
    4 defensive [dɪˈfensɪv] buszxy   第9级
    • Their questions about the money put her on the defensive. 他们问到钱的问题,使她警觉起来。
    • The Government hastily organized defensive measures against the raids. 政府急忙布置了防卫措施抵御空袭。
    5 acting [ˈæktɪŋ] czRzoc   第7级
    • Ignore her, she's just acting. 别理她,她只是假装的。
    • During the seventies, her acting career was in eclipse. 在七十年代,她的表演生涯黯然失色。
    6 assassination [əˌsæsɪ'neɪʃn] BObyy   第9级
    • The assassination of the president brought matters to a head. 总统遭暗杀使事态到了严重关头。
    • Lincoln's assassination in 1865 shocked the whole nation. 1865年,林肯遇刺事件震惊全美国。
    7 inflict [ɪnˈflɪkt] Ebnz7   第7级
    • Don't inflict your ideas on me. 不要把你的想法强加于我。
    • Don't inflict damage on any person. 不要伤害任何人。

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