My friend Liza and I grew up together from day one-our parents were best friends before they had us. I got married really young, in 1999, when I was 18 and Liza was 19. She was my maid of honor, and two years later, when she got engaged, she asked me to be hers. It was always assumed, and I, of course, said yes.

我和丽萨是"穿一条开裆裤"长大的--在我们出生前，我们的父母就已经是最好的朋友了。我很早就结婚了（1999年），那时我18岁，丽萨19岁。她是我的伴娘，2年后，她也订婚了，并邀我担任她的伴娘。一直以来我们都是这么设想的，所以我答应了。

Around the same time, I realized I'd gotten married way too young, and the relationship wasn't working. A couple of months after Liza had asked me to be her maid of honor, around the summer of 2001, I announced I was getting divorced. We had gone dress shopping but didn't have bridesmaids gowns yet.

与此同时，我意识到自己结婚结的太早了，我和丈夫的感情并不是很好。丽萨邀我担任伴娘后没过多久（大约是2001年的夏天），我就宣布自己离婚了。我们一起看了婚纱礼服，但没有买伴娘裙。

Within a couple of weeks of me telling her about the divorce, Liza called and said I was "no longer welcome in her wedding party," because I didn't believe in the sacrament of marriage. I was shocked and in disbelief. It felt like I got punched in the gut¹. It was like, do I even know you? She's not an especially religious person, so the fact she used a phrase like, "the sacrament of marriage," was disorienting.

我告诉丽萨我离婚了，几周后她打电话告诉我"她不希望我参加她的婚礼，"因为她觉得我对待婚姻的态度不神圣。我非常震惊，不敢相信她竟然这样做。像是被人重击一拳。我竟然自我怀疑，丽萨还是我认识的那个她吗？她的宗教信仰并不强烈，所以她所说的'婚姻的神圣'令我迷失。

It felt like I'd lost my best friend. I mean, whether or not you want a divorce, it's always a hard process. And not only did I not have her support through this big life transition², I also got booted from her wedding. She replaced me with this party-girl friend she had temporarily. That hurt, too. It felt like I was getting replaced with someone who wasn't even important to her.

貌似我失去了最好的朋友。毕竟，不管你想不想离婚，整个过程都是非常痛苦的。发生这一重大生活转变的时候，她没有支持我；而且还将我踢出局，不希望我参加她的婚礼！她临时找了一个交际花，代替我担任伴娘。此举着实令人心痛。就好像我被一个她并不看重的人所取代了。

I didn't attend the ceremony, which was the following year, although my family did, because Liza was really close with them.

我没有参加第二年的婚礼，尽管因为丽萨和我的家人关系亲密，他们都去了。

A few years ago, I found out she was pregnant³ and reached out via e-mail. I just wanted to break the ice-like, "Hey, I heard you're pregnant, congrats!" She responded a few months later and was cordial⁴, but we didn't really talk about her wedding. We live about 20 minutes apart and makes plans to see each other maybe once a year.

几年前，我得知她怀孕了，所以发了封邮件给她。我想打破这层隔阂，在邮件中写道"嘿，听说你怀孕了，恭喜呀！"几个月后，她很真诚的回复了我，但我们都没有谈及那场婚礼。我们相隔20分钟的车程，计划每年见一次面。