They've been hurt before, and so they've forgotten how to trust others.

他们之前受过伤，所以忘记了如何信任别人。

"I'm really not good in relationships. It wasn't always that way. It's just that the first two women I was with cheated on me with a friend (different friend), both of whom told me about it later. I guess I developed a mindset that if I couldn't trust women and they were likely to do it again in the future, I might as well not deprive myself."

"我真的很不擅长谈恋爱。但世事无绝对。只是我的初恋和第二个对象都出轨了我的朋友（不同的朋友），她们都在出轨之后告诉了我这件事。我想，也许我因此有了这样的心态：如果我无法信任她，而她也有日后出轨的可能，那不如我自己先出轨好了。"

They weren't spending enough time with their S.O.

他们没有花足够的时间陪另一半

"Long-distance relationship. I was not the most caring or appreciative¹ partner. Went out with friends. Very sexually aggressive girl came onto me. Went home with her. Felt awful afterwards. Confessed to everything even though I easily could have avoided being caught. Tried to salvage² the relationship but it just didn't work."

"异地恋。我并不是那种会关心人、善解人意的伴侣。我经常与朋友出去嗨。身边也不乏主动性感的美女。于是我带她回家，但事后却十分后悔。尽管我知道这件事被知晓的可能性很低，但我还是坦白了。我试图挽救过我们的恋情，但却未能成功。"

They lost interest.

他们没了兴趣。

"I got bored. I cheated on him constantly. Always did a good job of hiding my dirty work. He never found out until I stopped hiding it. There was nothing really wrong with the relationship either. He treated me beautifully, sex was great, I just fell out of love, lost the attraction."

"我厌倦了。我总是给他戴绿帽子，掩饰的也很好。他从来都不知道我出轨，直到我不再瞒着他。这段感情其实并没有什么问题。他对我很好，我们的性生活也很融洽。我只是不爱了，他对我没有吸引力了。"

They were never in love to begin with.

他们从未相爱过。

"I was in a relationship where he loved me more than I loved him. I think I was just in it because it was habitual³, comforting, and most of all, easy. I barely had to put in any work because whenever I needed him, he'll be there. It wasn't fair to him at all, but I honestly was just too comfortable and lazy to break up with him. Then I met someone. He made me laugh, he challenged me, and we had so many more things in common."

"那段恋情，他爱我比我爱他多得多。我想我愿意和他在一起可能是因为养成了习惯，和他在一起很舒服、很轻松吧。我几乎不需要付出任何精力，因为只要我需要他，他就会来到我身边。这对他一点也不公平，但说实话，和他在一起真的很舒适，舒适到我已经懒得和他分手了。之后，我遇到了另一个他。他会逗我笑、也会质疑我，我们的共同点真的很多。"

They felt neglected.

他们感觉被忽略了。

"The affection she showed me gradually slowed to a trickle⁴ and then just . . . nothing. No matter how hard I tried, she would just start treating me less like a partner and more like an obligation. It got to the point where she'd reject me for sex constantly. I felt unloved, unappreciated, and just flat-out shit."

"她对我的喜欢慢慢减少，甚至到最后不再喜欢了。无论我有多努力，她都不再像以前那样对我了，更像是在尽义务。当她总是拒绝和我啪啪啪的时候，我知道那一刻终于到来了。我感觉到她不爱我了、不欣赏我了，对我的感情归于平淡了。"