Listen To Them

倾听他的说法

This is an easy one but it's also going to be pretty hard because you're probably going to hear all about what you did and it won't be fun. They're going to need to talk about it, air it all out, tell you how it made them feel and you know what? You're going to sit and listen, that is your job at that moment. You're going to want to defend yourself but being aggressive could possibly make the situation worse and while you should tell your side, they get to go first.

说起来容易做起来难，因为你可能会听到他'痛诉'你所做的一切，一点儿也不有趣。他们需要谈一谈，说出心中所想，需要告诉你你犯错后将他们置于何地。你知道吗，你得坐下来听他唠，这是你当前的任务。你很想为自己辩解，但如果这时候变得咄咄逼人可能只会让情况更糟。虽然你也需要说出你的理由，但让他先说吧。

Face them, every part of you should look interested in what they have to say - body language says a lot and if you're turned away or slumped¹ over it's going to come off as if you don't care. Being fully involved in the conversation will help you in the long run as well, absorb it all and remember it the next time something comes along that could cause your partner major upset.

面对他吧，你应该对他所说的话极感兴趣--肢体语言能说明很多事情，如果你转身离开或情绪消沉，男友会觉得你不在乎他。全身心的投入到对话中去，这也有助于长期关系，'吸收'并记住那些可能会导致另一半不爽的事情。

Emotional Validation²

情感肯定

There's going to have to be a lot of reassurance³ and letting them know that how they're feeling is warranted⁴ and okay. Don't say things like "I'm sorry you feel that way", it implies that the fault lies with them for feeling the way they do, not with you.

你需要一再的保证，让他知道他生气是有道理的。不要说这样的话：'很抱歉你这样想'，因为这意味着错在他们而非在你--谁让他们这样想呢。

You would want to be heard and told that you have every right to the emotions you're feeling; it sucks so much to have someone who has hurt you ignore how you're feeling and brush it off as if it's not important so don't do that to your partner. But remember, acknowledging⁵ your partner's emotions will not make them magically go away; they're still going to need time to process and deal with everything so give them time to work it out.

你希望他能倾听你，希望他对你说'你有权利这样感受'。某人伤害你之后却忽略你的感受，轻而易举的带过这件事，这种感觉非常糟糕，就好像你一点都不重要似的，所以不要对另一半做这样的事情。但请记住，认可另一半的感受并不会让生气感奇迹般的消失，另一半仍旧需要时间去消化、处理所有的一切，所以给他们一点儿时间。

Apologize and Mean It

真心道歉

First and most importantly, show them by not doing what you did to upset them in the first place, this goes back to validating⁶ their feelings on everything and shows that you know you did wrong.

最重要的是，一开始就不该做让他们不高兴的事情，所以又回到第二点，你需要肯定他们：生气是对的，并表明知道自己做错了。