The silence of men in general is overtalked about and overcriticized． To be sure， men never open up as much as women want them to， but there is a wordless understanding in which we function fairly well especially in friendships．男人的沉默往往被过多地谈论且过分指责。（但）可以肯定的是，男人从未像女人所希望的那样开诚布公地说出自己的心里话，但我们却能很好地运用无言的理解，尤其是在维持彼此的友谊的过程中。

I believe， in fact， that most women would prefer a man to be glumlyuncommunicative than to [1] spill his guts¹ at the drop of a hat．事实上，我相信大多数女人都宁愿男人可以忧郁地不言不语，而不喜欢男人就像竹筒倒豆子，什么都说。

The push for men to express their feelings presumes that we have feelings， and we do have a few， but they remain submerged， and the [2] airing of them often violates their authenticity²．男人被认定为应表达感情，这就是他们表达情感的推动力。不错，我们确实有一些，但隐而不露，若要表达出来就会破坏其真实性。

I am no biologist， but my guess is that the male human animal was programmed for silence． I would go so far as to argue that men were programmed to be isolated³ from one another and that aloneness is our natural state． Silence in male friendships is our way of being alone with each other．我不是生物学家，但我猜想男人这种动物天生就是沉默寡言的。我甚至认为男人天生就是彼此孤立的，孤独是我们的自然状态。男人间的友谊表现为沉默寡言，正是我们彼此独自生活方式的表现。

Once men have established a friendship， that itself is the word． The affection is obvious， at least to us． A main component⁴ of our silence is an appreciation⁵ of the obvious．一旦男人间建立起友谊，友谊本身就已说明了一切。情感是明显的，至少对我们来说，我们沉默的一个主要组成部分就是对这明显情感的欣赏。

注解：

1． spill one’s guts本意是“告密”，和”spill the beans”意思相近，但是后者包含“不慎泄露风声”的意思，而前者则是刻意泄露。“ At the drop of a hat”是“突然”的意思。在这里，“spill his guts at the drop of a hat”指一个人藏不住心里的话，经常不经觉地就把许多话告诉别人。

2． airing是由air派生出来的，作名词用时是“风干”的意思。它同时也是air的动名词，有“张扬”的意思。在这个句子中，airing指代的也就是feeling，即感情的张扬。