STORY XII

DR. PIGG AND THE FIRECRACKER

Once upon a time it happened that, as Buddy² Pigg was coming home from having played baseball with Johnnie and Billie Bushytail, and all his friends, he saw, lying beside the road, something long and round and red, with a little string dangling³ from it.

"Aha!" exclaimed Buddy Pigg; "there is a stick of red candy? Oh, fine! Oh, dandy! I'll take it home, and give Brighteyes some."

That was because she had managed to bring him home some of the molasses that was in the can, in which the little girl guinea pig got stuck fast. So Buddy picked up the long, round, red thing, with a string dangling from it, and took a big bite. That is, he tried to, but he found his teeth wouldn't go through it.

"Wow!" he cried. "That isn't a stick of candy at all."

And the funny part of it was that it wasn't a stick of candy. No, not in the least, I do assure you. What it was Buddy couldn't guess, though I suppose some of you children can.

Well, anyhow, he picked it up, and carried it in one paw, and his bat and catching⁴ glove in the other. And pretty soon whom should he meet hopping⁵ along but Bawly, the frog—Bully's brother, you know. And Bawly was singing away for dear life, this little song, which you will have to get some one to sing for you, as I am as hoarse⁶ as two crows and a cricket. Well, anyhow, this is the song:

"As I was hopping along one day,

Hi diddle um diddle I!

A grasshopper⁷ sat in a greenwood tree,

Tum-tum-tum tiddle di!

"Oh, where are you going?" the grasshopper asked.

"Oh, not very far," I said.

"May I go along?" asked the funny bug.

And he stood right up on his head.

"Why yes," I told him, "come along,"

Tu ri lum diddle day.

"The weather is certainly fine just now,"

Fum lum dum skiddle fay.

But the grasshopper fell in a deep, dark bog⁸,

And I pulled him out on a sunken log,

And then came along a bad, savage⁹ dog,

And we both ran away."

"Oh, ho! So that's the way it was, eh?" asked Buddy, who had never heard that song before.

"That's exactly how it was, and not a bit different, I give you my word for it," said Bawly, the frog. "But what have you there, Buddy? Peppermint¹⁰ candy, as sure as I can sing! May I have a bit?"

"You could have it if it was candy," promised Buddy, real politely, "only it isn't," and he looked at the queer red thing from all sides, and he couldn't make out what it was, and neither could Bawly.

Well, I'll tell you what it was, so you can understand the story better. It was a firecracker. Yes, sir, a big, red firecracker that, somehow or other, hadn't gone off on Fourth of July when it ought to have done so.

I presume some boy had lighted it, tossed it into the bushes and it had gone out and stayed out until Buddy found it. At any rate, he didn't know what it was, and he took it home. Neither did Mr. Pigg know what it was, but Buddy's mother and sister thought it was quite a pretty ornament¹¹, and Mrs. Pigg put it on the parlor¹² mantle¹³, where company could see it.

Well, one day, not long after this, Dr. Pigg was home all alone, for his wife and the children had gone to a moving-picture show. He was dozing¹⁴ away in his easy chair, with a newspaper over his face to keep away the flies, when, all of a sudden, there came a knock on the door.

"My goodness alive! Who's there?" cried Dr. Pigg.

"It's me," answered a voice.

"And who, pray tell, may you be?" asked Dr. Pigg.

"I'm a bad tramp fox," was the answer, "and I want you to give me something to eat. Quick! I'm in a hurry!"

Now that wasn't a nice way to speak, and Dr. Pigg knew it, and, what is more, that bad fox knew it, too. But, do you s'pose he cared? Not a bit of it. He was as impolite as he could be, and he took pride in it.

"I want something to eat in a hurry," he went on, in a coarse, grumbly¹⁵ voice, and he was such a big fox, and Dr. Pigg was such a nice, gentle kind of a creature that he didn't dare refuse him.

"Very well," said Buddy's papa, "step into the parlor, Mr. Fox, and I'll see what I can do for you. There ought to be something in the pantry."

So he went to look in the pantry for a bone, or something like that, just as Mother Hubbard would have done, you know, and when the fox went in the parlor what do you suppose he saw? Why, that big, red firecracker on the mantle, of course. And when he saw it a wicked plan came into his head.

"I'll just light that," he thought to himself, "and it will blow this pen up, and Dr. Pigg with it. Then I can take anything I want. That's what I'll do. I'll blow the place up!"

Then he lighted the string of the firecracker, standing¹⁶ up on his hind¹⁷ legs to reach it, you see, and, as it was a long string, the fox knew it would burn some time before it would explode the firecracker. So the fox ran out into the kitchen, where Dr. Pigg was getting him something to eat, and he cried:

"Here, give me what you have ready, I can't wait."

"You must be in a hurry," replied Dr. Pigg, as he gave the fox some bread and meat and cold potatoes. And of course the fox was in a hurry, for he wanted to get out of the way before that firecracker went off and blew the house up.

Then the fox ran and hid in the bushes, waiting for the house and Dr. Pigg to be blown up, so he could go in and take whatever he wanted. The string on the firecracker burned slowly, but surely. And the fox knew it would be a perfectly¹⁸ tremendous explosion, for the firecracker was as big as a hundred lead pencils made into one.

But now watch and see what happens. After Dr. Pigg had put away the bread and meat, left over after giving the fox some, who should come along but Percival, the old, circus dog. He came to pay a friendly call on Dr. Pigg, but, no sooner had he reached the front door than he cried out:

"Oh, I smell something burning," and, sure enough it was the firecracker string sizzling away.

"Maybe the house is afire," said Dr. Pigg. "Let's look!" So he and Percival went all through the pen, and the first object they saw was the long, rod thing burning on the mantlepiece. And Percival knew at once what it was, for he was a smart dog, let me tell you.

"Oh!" he cried, "that is a cannon¹⁹ firecracker, and if it goes off it will blow the place to pieces, and me and you, too!"

"Then, for mercy sakes, don't let it go off!" cried Dr. Pigg, and that brave dog Percival jumped up, grabbed the cannon cracker¹ in his mouth, dashed out of the house, and leaped into a pond of water with it, which put out the burning string, and wet the firecracker so it wouldn't explode.

And when the fox saw Percival, he sneaked²⁰ away with his tail hanging down, I can tell you. So that's the story of Dr. Pigg and the firecracker, and when his family came home he told them of of his narrow escape.

Now, in case I hear a June bug buzz like an electric fan blowing soap bubbles, I'll tell you in the next story about Buddy Pigg in a boat.