My name is Carol¹ Sanders．

I live in England now，butwhen I was² younger，I lived in Hong Kong．Myfather was a businessman⁵ there and my mother worked as³ a secretary．Welived in Hong Kong for seven years．

I was happy at school， withlots of friends，and we had⁷ a good time．Iliked pop⁸ music—the Rolling⁹ Stones，DavidBowie and Jake Rosso were my favourites．

Jake Rosso was my favourite singer． Hedied in a car accident¹² the year I left school， butI listened to his pop records¹³ all the time．Ihad hundreds of pictures and photos of him on my bedroom wall．

Then one day in winter when I was seventeen，thingsbegan to go wrong for me．

My father went to Australia on business．Iloved him very much and didn't like him going¹⁵ away．

‘Come home quickly，’Ialways said¹⁶ to him．

He was in Australia for two weeks．Then，on the day of his journey¹⁷ home， anaeroplane from Sydney crashed¹⁹ into the sea just south of Hong Kong．Everybodyon the plane died．

I heard about the plane crash¹⁸ on television．Atfirst， I did¹⁴ not think about my father．ThenI remembered he was flying back from Sydney on that day．

‘Oh，no！’Icried．

I telephoned the airport but they did not know the names ofall the passengers²¹ then．

‘Perhaps²² my father didn'tget that plane，’I thought．‘Oh，please！Please！’

My mother was at work and I called her on the telephone．Shecame home quickly and we went to the airport and waited for news．

Later，we learned²⁷ myfather was on the plane．

‘It's not true！’Ishouted．

But it was true， andI began to cry．

I cried for weeks and weeks．Ispent many days alone²⁹ in my room．I waslonely and sad and I wanted to die，too．

I stopped going out with my friends． Ididn't want to see other people．Istopped listening to Jake Rosso's records， andtook his pictures off³¹ my bedroom wall． Ididn't listen to music or watch television． Nothingmattered any more．

Then I stopped crying．Istopped feeling³² sad and began to feel angry．

‘Why did it happen to him？’Iasked my mother．‘Why do the bestpeople die？Jake Rosso．Myfather．’

‘I…I don't know， Carol，'mymother said．She was unhappy，too．

At the time of the plane crash， Iwas a student at college．I enjoyed thecollege work and life³⁵ very much， butafter my father's death³⁶ I stopped doing my work at the college．Ibegan to go out with some new friends．Theywere different from my other friends，andmy mother didn't like them．

‘ They're bad people，Carol，'shetold me．‘They do dangerous things．’

‘They're exciting，’Isaid．‘And I like them．’

I knew she was angry but I didn't care． Butthen I learned my new friends took³⁰ drugs，andI began to take drugs，too．Itwas wrong and stupid，I know that now，but I was unhappy³³ and angry．

The police³⁸ came²⁴ to the college³⁴ to arrest³⁹ some of thestudents．They didn't arrest me，but I had to leave the college．Itwas a bad time．

My mother was very unhappy with me．‘Whatam I going to do with you，Carol？she said．

‘I'm sorry，’Itold her．

‘We'll go back to England，'shesaid．‘You can find a college there．Perhapsyou can be happier in England．’

‘All right，’Isaid．‘I want to forget what's happened．Iwant to forget what I've done and begin a new life， bea new person．’

A month later， wecame back to England．We lived in London，ina hotel．It was strange，atfirst， with all the red buses andeverybody speaking English．It was thebeginning of the summer，three monthsbefore college began in the autumn．Londonwas full of tourists．

We looked at all the famous⁴² buildings—BuckinghamPalace，the Tower⁴³ of London．Andwe went to restaurants and theatres⁴⁴ in the evenings．Itwas interesting and exciting and I began to forget the bad times in Hong Kong．

‘I'm pleased⁴⁵ we came toLondon，’I told my mother．

But after a few⁴⁶ weeks，shesaid，‘You need to find a college，Carol．Youmust go on studying． And I need a job．’

That evening， welooked in the newspapers．

‘What about this？’Isaid．I showed my mother a job in thenewspaper．

SECRETARY⁶

for the summer months

on a small private⁴⁷ island in Scotland．

Live with the family in a big house．

interseting work and good pay⁴⁹

for the right person．

Phone Greta Poss．Telephonenumber 071…

‘Well， thatsounds interesting，'said my mother．‘I'dlike to work as a secretary on an island in Scotland．It'sa beautiful country， Carol， andyou can go to a college there in the autumn．’

‘And it's a place to livefor the summer，’I said．‘Hotelsare expensive．’

My mother telephoned Greta Ross．

Come and see me tomorrow， GretaRoss told her．‘Come to Savoy Hotel ateleven o'clock．’

I went to Savoy Hotel with my mother．Itwas big and ex pensive，bigger than ourhotel，and in the centre⁵⁰ of London．

‘Mum needs this job，Ithought．‘And a private island inScotland is a nice place to live．PerhapsI can forget what's happened if I go there．’

‘Room twenty－two，'saidthe woman at the hotel desk．‘Go on up．Mrs Ross will see you now．’

Greta Ross was waiting for us．Shewas about thirty years old and very beautiful．Shewore an expensive red dress and her hair was very long and dark．

‘This is my daughter，Carol，'saidmy mother．

‘Hallo， Carol，'saidGreta Ross．

‘Hallo，’Isaid．

‘Carol is eighteen years old，'saidmy mother．‘Can she come with me，ifI get the job？ Perhaps she can help inthe house or in the garden．She likesgardening．She's studying farming⁵² atcollege．’

‘Perhaps， saidGreta Ross．‘There's a small farm onthe island．’

‘I'd like to work on thefarm，’I said．

Greta Ross looked at my mother．‘Howlong did you live in Hong Kong，MrsSanders？’

‘Seven years，’answeredmy mother．‘My husband⁵³ died¹⁰ in a planecrash last year，so we've come back tolive in England．’

‘Where did you live beforeHong Kong？’

‘We lived in India⁵⁴ for threeyears．’

Then Greta Ross took my mother into a room and asked hermore questions．I waited outside．

‘Greta Ross is nice，’Ithought．‘I hope⁵⁵ my mother gets the job．’

Soon after，the dooropened and my mother came out．She wassmiling．

Greta Ross said，‘Pleasewait here for a minute，Mrs Sanders．Iwant to make a phone call．'she went backinto the room，and closed⁵⁶ the door．

I was sitting on a chair near the door，andI could⁵⁷ just hear Greta Ross's voice⁵⁸ speaking on the phone．

‘I think I've found⁵⁹ someone，'shewas saying．‘She has a daughter，butthe girl can work in the garden or on the farm…Don't worry，they've been away fromEngland for ten years… It'll be allright，I tell you…Don't worry．’

After a few minutes， GretaRoss put down the phone and came ont of the room．

‘You've got⁶¹ the job，'shetold my mother．

My mother was pleased．‘Thankyou，'she replied．

I was pleased，too，but now I was worried⁶³ about that phone call．Ididn't understand it．

我叫卡罗尔•桑德斯。

我现居英格兰，但我更年轻时住在香港。我父亲在那儿经商而我母亲是个秘书。我们在香港住了七年。

我在学校很快乐，有许多朋友；我们玩得很愉快。我喜欢流行音乐——滚石乐队、戴维•鲍伊和杰克•罗素是我至爱。

杰克•罗索是我最喜欢的歌手。我离校那年他死于一次车祸，但我一直在听他的流行歌曲唱片。我在我卧室的墙上贴了成百上千的有关他的画片和照片。

接着在我17岁那年冬季的一天，事情对我来说开始变糟了。

我父亲去澳大利亚出差。我非常爱他，不愿意让他离家在外。

“快点回家来，”我总是对他说。

他在澳大利亚呆了两周。接着，在他要登上回程的那天，一架从悉尼起飞的飞机坠入香港正南部的海域。机上人员全部遇难。

我从电视上听到飞机失事的消息。起初，我并没有想到我父亲。后来，我想起来那天他正从悉尼乘机返回。

“啊，不！”我叫了起来。

我给机场打电话，但他们那时还不知道所有乘客的名字。

“或许我父亲没乘那架飞机。”我想，“啊，千万别乘！千万别乘那架飞机！”

我母亲当时正在上班，于是我给她打了电话。她很快回家；我们去机场并等待消息。

后来，我们得知我父亲正在那架飞机上。

“这不是真的！”我喊道。

但这是真的，我哭了起来。

我哭了一周又一周。好多天我独自一人呆在房间里。我既孤独又伤心，我也想过去死。

我不再和朋友们出去玩了。我不想见别人。我不再听杰克•罗索的唱片了，还把他的图片从我卧室的墙上取了下来。我不听音乐了，也不看电视了。一切对我都不再要紧了。

后来我不哭了。我不再伤心了，而开始感到愤怒了。

“为什么这事让他碰上了呢？”我问妈妈，“为什么总是最好的人死呢？杰克•罗索。我爸爸。”

“我……我不知道，卡罗尔。”我妈妈说。她也不愉快。

飞机失事的时候，我正是个大学学生。我当时很喜欢大学的学习和生活，但我父亲去世后我在大学不学习了。我开始和一些新结识的朋友出去玩。他们和我的其他朋友不一样，而且我妈妈不喜欢他们。

“他们不是正经人，卡罗尔。”她告诉我，“他们在干一些危险的事情。”

“他们令人感到兴奋。”我说，“而且我喜欢他们。”

我知道她生气了，可我不在乎。后来我得知我新结识的朋友们在吸毒，我也开始吸毒了。我现在知道那样做既错又蠢，可那时候我心情郁闷。

警察来到大学抓了一些学生。他们没抓我，可我不得不离开那个大学。那段日子可真糟糕。

我妈妈对我很不高兴。“我拿你可怎么办呢，卡罗尔？”她说。

“对不起，”我告诉她说。

“我们回英格兰吧。”她说，“在那儿你可以找所大学上。在英格兰也许你会高兴些。”

“好吧。”我说，“我想把过去发生的事忘掉。我想把我所干的事忘掉，开始新生活，成为一个新人。”

一个月后，我们回到了英格兰。我们住在伦敦，呆在一家饭店里。起初，一切都很新奇：公共汽车是红色的，人人都说英语。时值初夏，离秋季开学还有三个月。伦敦到处都是观光客。

我们参观了所有著名的建筑物——白金汉宫、伦敦塔。而且晚上我们去餐馆和剧院。这令人感兴趣、令人激动，我开始忘掉在香港的那些令人难受的时光。

“我真为我们来到了伦敦而高兴，”我对妈妈说。

但是过了几周之后，她说：“你得找所大学上，卡罗尔。你必须继续你的学业。我也需要个工作。”

那天傍晚，我们翻看了一下报纸。

“这工作怎么样？”我说。我给妈妈看了看报上登的一条招工的消息。

招聘秘书启事

苏格兰一私人小岛上

夏季招聘秘书一名。

可与本家共享宽裕住所。

若人选合适，

工作有趣，薪金丰厚。

有意者请与格里塔•罗斯联系。电话：071……

“嗯，听起来挺有意思的。”我妈妈说，“我愿意在苏格兰的一个岛上干秘书工作。它是个很美丽的地方，卡罗尔，而且你秋季可以在那儿上大学。”

“夏季也可以在那儿过。”我说，“饭店很费钱。”

我妈妈打电话给格里塔•罗斯。

“明天来见我吧。”格里塔•罗斯告诉她，“11点请到萨沃伊饭店来。”

我和妈妈一起去了萨沃伊饭店。这个饭店既大又贵，比我们住的饭店大，并位于伦敦的中心地带。

“妈妈需要这个工作。”我想，“苏格兰的一座私人岛屿还是个生活的好地方。我如果去那儿，也许就可以把过去发生的事情忘掉。”

“22号房间。”饭店服务台的女士说，“上楼去吧。罗斯夫人现在就可以接见您。”

格里塔•罗斯正等着我们。她大约三十岁，很漂亮。她穿着一件很贵的红色连衣裙，头发很长很黑。

“这是我女儿卡罗尔，”我妈妈说。

“你好，卡罗尔。”格里塔•罗斯说。

“您好，”我说。

“卡罗尔18岁了。”我妈妈说，“如果我能得到这份工作，她可以跟着我吗？也许她能帮助做些家务活或干些园子里的活。她喜欢园艺。她正在大学学农业。”

“也许行吧。”格里塔•罗斯说，“岛上有个小农场。”

“我喜欢在农场里干活，”我说。

格里塔•罗斯看了看我母亲。“你们在香港住了多久，桑德斯夫人？”

“七年。”我妈妈说，“我丈夫去年因飞机失事去世了，所以我们回英格兰住来了。”

“住在香港之前你们呆在哪儿？”

“我们在印度住了三年。”

然后格里塔•罗斯带我妈妈进了一个房间，问了她更多的问题。我在外边等着。

“格里塔•罗斯挺好的。”我想，“我希望妈妈能得到这份工作。”

过了不一会儿门开了，我妈妈出来了。她微笑着。

格里塔•罗斯说：“请在这儿等一会儿，桑德斯夫人。我想去打个电话。”她返回房间，并关上了门。

我坐在门旁的一把椅子上，正好能听到格里塔•罗斯打电话的声音。

“我想我已经找到了一个人。”她正在说，“她有个女儿，但这个女孩可以在园子或在农场干些活儿……别担心，她们离开英格兰已有10年了……不会出事的，我告诉你……别担心。”

过了一会儿，格里塔•罗斯挂上了电话并从屋里出来了。

“你得到了这份工作，”她告诉我妈妈说。

我妈妈很高兴。“谢谢您，”她说。

我也很高兴，可现在我对那个电话感到忧虑不安。我不明白它的意思。