Communication is an essential part of work and home life. Understanding how to be a good communicator can be an important productivity tool, one that’s frequently neglected. Poor communication can often have disastrous¹ results; lost time, injured feelings, frustration², ineffective meetings, unproductive teamwork, resulting in a general lack of career advancement³ and goal achievement. To become effective communicators we need to be aware of a few fundamental tips we can use in our work and life interactions. Regardless of the situation, the same rules apply.

沟通是工作和生活中都必不可少的一部分。了解如何能更好地沟通可以极大地提高工作效率，但是这一点往往被人们所忽略。沟通不善经常会导致损失惨重；浪费时间、伤害感情、令人失望、会议无效、团队工作没有收获，结果是很难在职场晋升，也很难实现目标。要想有效地沟通，我们需要了解几个基本的沟通方法，把这些方法用在工作和生活的交往中。无论何种情况，这些规则都适用。

1. Show Appreciation⁴

表示感谢

Prior to getting into the meat of your conversation, be sure to express your thanks for the other individual’s time. Time is an extremely precious resource, and it is important to be respectful and considerate of that. Also, complement⁵ or recognize any positive contribution they are making. Appreciation and praise can go a long way towards building good rapport⁶.

在开始谈话之前，一定要向对方抽出时间和你谈话表示感谢。时间是非常宝贵的资源，能意识到这一点并表示敬意是非常重要的。另外，对他人做出的贡献要给予认可并加以赞美。欣赏和赞美对建立融洽的关系有很大帮助。

2. Connect

建立联系

Connect on a personal level if possible. Look for places where interests overlap⁷ if any exist. Even in a professional situation, there may be some personal interests in common, hobbies, sports, children, etc. Take care to avoid such controversial topics as political leanings or religious beliefs. A real sense of connection makes a difference in the tone and outcome of the current conversation and most likely future communications as well.

有可能的话和他人建立私交。看一下你们是否有相同的兴趣。即使是专业人士，也会有一些相同的兴趣和业务爱好，如体育爱好、育儿等。要注意避免如政治倾向或宗教信仰等有争议性的话题。建立私交后，谈话的语气和结果都会变得不同，未来的交流也可能有所不同。

3. Stay positive

保持积极的心态

Maintaining a positive attitude is crucial to productive communications. Be constructive⁸ rather than negative or complaining. People shut down, effectively ending any real communication when they feel attacked or criticized. Be encouraging and kind even when expressing concerns or displeasure.

要想有效地沟通，保持积极的心态至关重要。要给出建设性的建议，而不是负面的批评或者抱怨。当人们觉得受到攻击或批评时，就会断绝联系不进行任何真正沟通。即使是表达忧虑或不悦时也要友善待人、振奋人心。

4. Watch tone

注意语调

While it’s sometimes necessary to be assertive⁹ in order to make your point, don’t be aggressive. There is a fine line between the two. Try not to cross it. An adversarial tone is not in any way productive. Be confident and direct, while still adopting a calm, cooperative tone.

虽然有时在陈述自己观点时要显得自信，但是不要咄咄逼人。这两者之间有着细微的界限，不要越界。对抗性的语调不会有任何好的 结果。要自信而率直，并保持沉着合作的语调。

5. Focus on the result

关注结果

It’s important to figure out what result you are after before you start the conversation. Knowing your objective helps you to direct the conversation and to remain on point. What are you hoping to accomplish? Are you trying to give help, resolve a conflict, or collaborate¹⁰ on a project or issue? Are you seeking advice or trying to influence behavior? Your desired outcome helps to determine the flow of communication.

在谈话前想清楚谈话的结果非常重要。明确目标能助你直达主题并让对话围绕主题展开。你想完成什么？你是想得到帮助，还是想解决争端，抑或合作完成一个项目或解决一个问题？你是在寻求建议还是想影响对方的行为？你想要的结果会影响谈话的发展。

6. Listen

学会倾听

Eye contact is crucial. Be polite and don’t interrupt. No one likes being interrupted and though it’s natural to want to rush in to make your point, it’s very disrespectful of the other person’s thoughts. Try to understand the other person’s perspective. Maintain an open mind. Learning how to value different viewpoints can be an important communication tool.

眼神交流很重要。要有礼貌，不要打断对方的谈话。没有人喜欢被人打断，每个人急着想表明自己的观点，这是非常自然的，但这却是对别人想法的不尊重。试着去理解他人的想法。保持开放的态度。学会去权衡不同的观点是非常重要的沟通技能。

7. Notice non-verbal cues

注意身体语言

Watch body language. Lack of eye contact, distraction¹¹, or fidgeting are often signs of restlessness or impatience¹². Yawning or sighing are usually signs of mental or physical fatigue¹³. When you notice these types of non-verbal signals, it’s a sign that this conversation is not going to be a productive one. Quickly wrap up the conversation, postpone¹⁴ the conversation, or inquire about the discomfort¹⁵ if your relationship allows.

观察身体语言。要是对方缺少眼神交流、或分神、坐立不安，这往往是烦躁不安或不耐烦的标志。打哈欠或叹气通常是精神或身体上疲倦的标志。当你注意到这些类型的非语言信号时，你要知道这表示这次对话不会有什么作用。迅速完成谈话或推迟谈话。如果你们的关系还不错的话，还可以问一下对方是不是不舒服。

8. Request feedback

寻求反馈

Confirm that you have a mutual¹⁶ understanding of what’s being communicated. We often think that we’ve reached a resolution and come to an understanding, only to find out that we have completely misunderstood the other person’s thoughts. This not only confirms that you have successfully communicated; it also makes the other person feel that they have been heard and understood.

确认一下双方对谈话内容的理解是不是一致。我们经常以为形成了解决方案、达成了共识，结果往往是我们完全误解了他人的想法。寻求输入和反馈。寻求反馈不仅能确保顺利沟通，也会让对方感觉到你在倾听并理解了他们的想法。

9. Follow-up

后续工作

Be clear about what actions will be taken and establish accountability. Confirm deadlines, responsibility, and expectations. If relevant, document any agreements in writing. A clear understanding of what is supposed to happen next can help avoid a conflict later on.

要清楚会采取何种行动并建立问责制。确认最后期限、责任和期望。如果可以，把相关的协议用书面的形式保存下来。明确下一步能够避免过后的争端。

Always try to end your communication in a friendly manner. Reiterate¹⁷ your thanks and try to leave the other individual feeling understood and valued. Productive communication involves respect, consideration, awareness¹⁸, and clarity. It is possible to be both direct and kind and still get the results you want.

尽量用友好的态度去结束每一次交流。重申你的感谢之意并让他人感到你的理解和珍视。想要交流取得成效，你需要尊重关心谈话对方，感悟和明确谈话内部。你可以率直而友善地与对方交流，也还是能得到你想要的结果。