When you’re a 20 something, you know you need to be mature because you’ve grown up. You’re seen as an adult, not a kid any more. It’s reality, and you really should face it. The faster you learn the most difficult life lessons, the sooner you can lead a great and successful life. Rich Tatum shared the most difficult things he wished he knew when he was 20 on quora:

当你已经二十几岁了，你会明白自己已经长大了，需要变得成熟了。别人都不会再当你是个孩子了，而是会把你当做成年人一样对待。这是你应该要面对的事实。你越早学会生活里最难的课程，你就能越早地过上光彩成功的生活。里奇· 塔特姆在quora上分享了他希望自己在20岁的时候就已经能够明白的那些最不容易的事情。

1.Love hurts, but not as much as not loving.

爱人会有伤心的时候，但是不爱更伤心。

2.The friendships you nurture¹ will have a greater effect on your life than where you work or what you earn.

你精心栽培的友情对你的人生有很大影响，甚至超过了你工作的地方和学习到的知识。

3.You are not your job. You are not your bankroll. You are not the sum of your possessions.

你的工作不是你的全部。你的工资单也不是你的全部。你更不是你所有财产的总和。

4.The company does not love you. It has no heart. You are replaceable. Keep your parachute handy.

你的公司不会爱你。公司是没有感情的。你是可替代的。随时准备好自己的“跳伞”。

5.Few decisions will ever shape your future life more than who you choose to marry. To marry well, you must choose well.

你选择和谁结婚是决定你未来人生的最重要的决定，没有之一。和对的人结婚，前提是你要做出对的选择。

6.Love is a commitment.

爱是一种承诺。

7.Believe it or not, passions grow out of your values. Make early, wise choices to value what (and who) is good, trustworthy, and praiseworthy.

不管你信不信，激情来源于你的价值观。早一点做出明智的选择，明确对自己来说什么或者谁才是好的、值得信赖的以及值得称赞的。

8.Integrity preserved is honor won.

保持完整的人格就是为自己赢得的荣耀。

9.Rejoice in your health. It fades fast.

为自己健康的体魄感到高兴，因为健康容易很快消逝。

10.Find a passion. Pick a hobby, own it: photography, juggling—whatever. Get your 10K hours of perfect practice in early and change your life.

找到让你感觉到激情的事情。选择一个爱好，拥有它：摄影、杂技或者随便什么。早点享受犹如纯10k金般珍贵的时间，从此改变你的生活。

11.Don’t bother comparing yourself to others—this only leads to heartbreak, anger, and disappointment.

不要与他人比较——这只会让你心碎、生气或者失望。

12.Most disappointments grow from unmet expectations. Set realistic expectations for yourself, based on your strengths, then strive to exceed them.

失望大多来源于未能满足的期望。根据自己的长处，给自己设置一些实际的期望，然后努力超越它们。

13.Don’t drive others to meet expectations they’ve committed to — lead, inspire, and help them do it.

不要逼着别人去完成他们已经在努力完成的目标——引导、鼓励而且帮助他们完成目标。

14.Don’t set expectations for others when they haven’t or cannot commit to them.

如果别人还没有决定或者没有能力完成一些目标，那就不要给他们设置这些目标。

15.Don’t complain. Either change your situation, learn to cope, or change your perspective.

不要抱怨。你可以努力改变自己的处境、学习解决问题或者转换一下自己的视角。

16.Don’t worry about making big bucks² out of the gate, worry first about doing whatever you have to do excellently.

不要急着一出校门口就要赚大把的钞票，先专注于自己可以出色地完成的事情。

17.Little stuff matters—even in lowly jobs. The boss notices and even if not, your peers and colleagues do.

细节很重要——即使是在简单的工作中。你的老板会注意的，即使老板没有注意到，你的同学或同事也会注意到的。

18.Ultimately, privacy is a myth: God sees everything. The cloud records everything. NSA files everything. So, live transparently³ and don’t waste useless energy hiding failures.

最后，真正的秘密是不存在的：上帝看得到所有的事情。云朵记录着一切。国家安全局把一切记录在案。所以，请坦荡地生活，不要浪费力气去掩盖失败。

19.Don’t look down on others because they don’t have what you didn’t earn—your intellect, your beauty, and your culture of birth are undeserved gifts…be humble⁴.

不要瞧不起别人因为他们只是没有你天生的一些东西——你的智力、你的美貌、你出生的环境等，这些都是你本来不该得到的馈赠。所以，谦虚点吧。

20.Failure is an opportunity: no great man or woman ever achieved significance without great failures to learn from.

失败同样是一个机会：伟大的男人或者女人都是从巨大的失败中吸取教训后取得伟大成就的。

21.Never withhold⁵ an apology when it’s merited. Deliver it quickly, sincerely, and personally—before resentment⁶ festers.

该道歉时就道歉。道歉的时间要尽快、态度要真诚，还要亲自去道歉——趁怨恨还没有滋生的时候。

22.You don’t need to nurture old guilt⁷ when you’re forgiven. But remembering the shame can help you avoid repeats.

如果别人已经原谅你了，你就没有必要再觉得愧疚了。但是记着，记住羞愧可以让你避免重蹈覆辙。

23.Mere⁸ belief in anything signifies little more than assent⁹. It’s trust and behavior that reveal where convictions lie.

仅仅是相信一切也不过是一种附和。真正的信念来源于信赖和行动。

24.The main thing you need to do quickly is to stop doing things quickly. Trade hurry for calm, confidence, and precision.

你要尽快做的事情主要就是不要再快速地做事情了。把快速转变成冷静、自信以及准确。

25.Everybody needs an editor. Everybody.

每个人都需要一个编辑。每个人！

26.Get your work done first so you can play without guilt. Even better, make work play and the fun never ends!

先把工作做完，这样你才能没有负担地玩了。更好的做法是，把工作当做一种乐趣，这样你的快乐就无穷无尽了。

27.If you want to develop your passion and gift, stop worrying about the things you do poorly. Go with your strengths!

如果你想要发展自己的激情和天赋，不要为自己做得不好的事情焦虑了，专注于自己的长项!

28.Avoid fights. Seriously. Avoid them like a plague: nobody wins in a fight, even if you walk away unscathed. But when a fight picks you, leave everything on the mat and give it your all. Hold nothing back.

避免斗争。说真的。就像躲瘟疫一样躲避斗争：没有人在一场斗争中胜出，即使你毫发无损地离开了。但是，如果你被迫迎战，放下一切，全力出击，毫不保留！

29.If you’re bored, you’re doing it wrong.

如果你觉得无聊，那就是你做事情的方式不对。

30.The skills that will help your career most are the abilities to assimilate, communicate, and persuade. Keep learning.

最能帮助你的职业的是这些技巧：消化吸收新知识的能力、交流能力还有说服他人的能力。不断学习！

31.Nothing in this life—no pain, no agony, no failure—compares to the eternal joy of Heaven. Live in light of eternity¹⁰.

生活里没有什么比得上天堂里永恒的快乐——疼痛、痛苦或者失败都是值得的。活在永恒的快乐中吧！

32.Protect your joy. Nothing is easier to lose by over-thinking, overanalyzing, and second-guessing. On the other hand, always consider the long-term consequences of your choices: stupid decisions made in the moment can rob you of years of joy and happiness.

保护你的快乐。如果你想得太多、分析太多或者猜疑太多，那就很容易失败。另一方面，永远记得考虑你的选择所带来的长期后果：仓促作出的愚蠢决定可能会剥夺你好几年的快乐和幸福。

33.Your purpose in life determines how you frame events. You can maintain your joy in the most dire¹¹ circumstances if you find meaning for your life. Dig deep.

你生活的目的决定了你组织事情的方式。如果你找到了自己生活的意义，即使是在最糟糕的处境里你也能保持愉悦。深入挖掘吧。

34.It truly matters what you think about. Think well by reading good books, building good, loving relationships, having good conversation, and imitating great people.

你的思想真的很重要。通过读好书、建立美好可爱的恋情、交心的谈话还有模仿很棒的人来让自己的思想有境界。

I’m still learning — in fact I haven’t fully¹² appreciated most of the list I made, myself. And I’m still adding to it. But I’m getting better.

我还在不停地学习——实际上，我还没有完全领会我所列出的清单。而且，我还在补充这个清单。但是，我变得越来越好了！