You’ve heard about the power of positive thinking, right? Everyone’s raving¹ about it. If you simply think positively², rainstorms will turn into rainbows, red lights will turn green, and your in-laws will suddenly turn into human beings. Right? Right?!

你应该听过积极思考的魔力吧？每个人都对它赞不绝口。若你凡事就只用积极方式思考，暴风雨能变成彩虹，红灯能变成绿灯，对吧？真的是这样吗？

I’ll tell you what you can control, though: your words. By making a few changes in your vocabulary, you can turn steaming piles of crap into 100% organic fertilizer. You can turn an inconvenient³ power outage into cuddle time with your sweetie. And you can turn obligations⁴ into opportunities. Words shape thoughts, and you’ll find that if you change your words for the better, your thoughts will change for the better too, and so will your life.

我来告诉你需要控制的东西：你的语言。只要对你的遣词做点小小改变，你会将一连串的废话变成100%的有机肥料。你可以将令人尴尬的冷场变成甜言蜜语。你也可以将那些不得不说的时刻变成你的机遇。语言造就思维，你会发现若你改善自己的遣词，你的思维会变得更出色，随之而来的就是你越来越美妙的生活。

1. Should

应该

Have you heard the expression “Stop shoulding all over yourself”? Well, let’s clean that “should” off your pants and replace it with some organic fertilizer, because every obligation⁵ can be rephrased as a desire. Instead of “I should go to the store,” how about “I want to go to the store because I’m hungry and I want to buy some food”?

你有听过这句话：“不要给自己太多的束缚”。让我们将所有”应该“改成一些有营养的话语吧，每个义务都可以被愿望所替代。当你说”我应该去商店“时，改成”我想去商店，因为我饿了“怎么样？

2. Ought

应当

“I ought to get this work done before I go to the party.” What do you want to do? Weigh your preferences. How good or bad would you feel about getting the work done first? How good or bad would you feel about leaving it undone⁶? Figure out what you most want, and then do it. In any case, let go of the obligation. “I want to get this work done before I go to the party, because I’ll feel a lot better once it’s finished.”

“我应当把工作做完后再去聚会”。其实你到底想做什么？权衡下你的喜好。选择先完成工作的你，是什么感觉？选择把它扔一边参加聚会又是什么感觉？想想你最想做什么，接着马上执行。无论如何，别管所谓的义务。你可以说“我想把工作做完后再去聚会，因为一旦工作完成我会感觉更加安稳”。

3. Need to

需要

“I need to walk the dog.” How about instead, “I want our dog to be happy and healthy, and I want to have a nice, clean, poop-free house, so I’m going to walk the dog.”

“我得去遛狗”，还是“我想让狗狗健康活泼，也想有个干净漂亮的家，所以我要去遛狗”？

4. Have to

不得不

“I have to go to work.” Well, no. You don’t have to. It’s just that your actions have consequences. Even if you don’t enjoy the process of getting there, you might really want the end result. So maybe a more positive way to phrase it would be, “I want to make money, so I’m going to go to work.” Keeping your goal in mind can make the process of getting there better for you.”

“我不得不工作”，不要这么说。你没有不得不做的事情。你的行为决定结果。即使你不享受做事的过程，你也确实想得到结果。因此我们可以用更加积极的词汇去表达，“我想赚钱，所以要去工作”。把自己的目标牢记在心，你就可以更加轻松地享受过程。

5. Must

必须

“I must go to bed now or else I’ll be tired and groggy⁷ all day tomorrow.” Okay, you got me, nobody actually talks like this. But you get the idea, right? “Must”, another obligation word, and again you can rephrase it positively as a desire. “I’ll go to bed now because I want to feel alert⁸ and awake tomorrow.” Doesn’t that take a weight off your shoulders and make you feel better about it?

“我必须得上床睡觉了，否则明天会困死的”。你真是耍我，没人会这么说话。但你听懂了是不是？“必须”是表达义务的另一个词汇，所以你同样可以用愿望来代替它。“明天我要让自己保持清醒，现在就要上床睡觉。”这句话能不能减轻你的压力，让你感觉好点呢？

6. Can’t

不能

Enough of obligation words, limiting words are even more dangerous. How many times do we say “I can’t” when it’s not really true? “I can’t write well.” Maybe you don’t write well right now, but you can if you put your mind to it. If you wanted to, you could practice and learn and gain new skills. So how about “I’m not that great at writing yet?” “Can’t” closes a door. You can stick your foot in that door and prop⁹ it open by choosing other words.

说了这么多义务性的词汇，其实限制性词汇更恐怖。当事实根本不是那样时，我们说了多少次“我不能”？“我写不出漂亮的字迹”，或许你现在写不出，之后你下定决心纠正就可以了呢？如果你想改善，你可以练习写字，学习新技巧。“我不擅长写字”这样是不是好点呢？“不能”使你将机会拒之门外。其实你可以使用其他的词汇，将那扇门打开。

7. Impossible

不可能

“It’s impossible for me to be a professional athlete; I’m just naturally clumsy.” You know what? I’ve seen a one-legged man compete in a Dance Dance tournament — and win. Nothing is impossible, it just takes time, practice, and dedication¹⁰. Talent is completely irrelevant¹¹ in the face of determination. How about “It’s possible for me to be a professional athlete if I want to put in the time and effort.”

“我天生就笨，不可能成为职业运动员。” 你知道吗？我看过只有一条腿的残疾人在劲舞锦标赛中出色演出，而且获胜了。所以一切皆有可能。需要的只是时间，练习和你的投入。在决心面前，天赋不堪一击。这么说好不好——“如果我花时间精力的话，成为职业运动员是有可能的。”

8. Never

决不

“I could never sing as well as her.” Again, you probably could. Even if today, the sound of you singing in the shower sends birds spiraling disoriented into the ground, that’s just today. You can improve, you can get better, and you can keep getting better for as long as you want to. She probably took hours and hours of voice lessons, so you’re not being fair to yourself. “I could sing as well as her or better if I put my mind to it.”

“我绝不可能唱得比她好。” 又来了，你为什么不可能？即使今天你在浴室唱歌的声音把小鸟都吓得没头乱飞，那也只是今天罢了。你可以进步，做得更好，你还可以继续保持进步——只要你愿意。她可能上了很久的声乐课，你干嘛要自暴自弃呢？所以要这么说“只要有心，我也可以和她唱得一样动听，甚至更好。”

9. Smack¹²

抽你

In addition to limiting words, violent words can bring unnecessary negativity into your life. “I’m gonna smack you if you don’t shut up right now!” If that’s really true, then that’s cool, you’re speaking authentically¹³. But I found myself saying this when what I really meant was, “I’m feeling upset and frustrated¹⁴ because I can’t concentrate with a lot of noise around. Could you please be quiet? I’d really appreciate it.” When I rephrased my vocabulary this way, the people around me felt a lot more considered and respected.

另外，一些暴力词汇也只能对你的生活产生消极影响。“你丫再不闭嘴我就抽你了！” 如果你真要那么做，那倒挺不错的，至少你在讲真话。但我发现一般这样说只是为了表达“周围太吵，我注意力集中不了，太让人心烦了。你可以安静点吗？非常感激！” 当我用这种方式来表达时，周围的人也会感觉到被尊重和照顾。

10. Kill

把你杀了

Now this one I hope you’re not saying with authenticity¹⁵. “I’m going to kill you if you leave the toilet seat up one more time!” That’s one way to express anger and frustration¹⁶, but how about expressing it directly instead? “I feel angry and hurt when you leave the toilet seat up, because it seems inconsiderate to me, like you don’t care about my comfort or our shared space.” The “kill” phrasing is likely to lead to an argument, but the “I feel” phrasing is likely to lead to a conversation that might make things better.

我希望你说这个词时是在开玩笑。“如果你再将马桶座立起来我就把你杀了！”这是一种表达说话人愤怒挫败的词汇，那你可以将自己的愤怒直接说出来呀！“你把马桶座立起来时我很生气，因为我觉得你不顾我的感受，就如你不在乎我们共有的空间，不在乎我是否舒服。”“杀”这个词会引起争论，但“我感到”就好多了，它带来的更多是沟通和交谈。

These are just 10 of the many words you can rephrase to improve your life. It’s even easier and more fun with a partner. Pick a word that you’d like to rephrase, and ask your partner to let you know whenever you use that word. It can be challenging, but it’s also incredibly rewarding!

以上是10种改述方法会让你的生活变得更加美好。如果和某个朋友一起进行会更加轻松有趣。选择一个你要改变的词，当你使用它的时候让你的朋友提醒你。这种方法很有挑战性，但也确实能获得十足的回报哦！