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有时“不错”好过“完美”
添加时间:2014-09-17 19:41:49 浏览次数: 作者:未知
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  • I was inspired by an observation by Voltaire to make my resolution “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” In other words, instead of pushing yourself to an impossible “perfect,” and therefore getting nowhere, accept “good.” Many things worth doing are worth doing badly.

    I have a friend who never exercises unless she’s training for a marathon; as a consequence, she almost never exercises. I never push myself when I exercise, and although I suspect she scoffs1 at my wimpy2 workouts, I’ve managed to get myself to exercise several times a week for years. If I’d tried to have a more ambitious3 workout, I’m sure I wouldn’t have exercised at all.

    Along the same lines, I told a friend that one of my happiness-project resolutions was to "remember birthdays," and so I was sending out happy-birthday e-mails. He said, "Oh, you shouldn't e-mail! You should call or write a hand-written note; that's much nicer." True—but I won't. And it's better to get something done imperfectly than to do nothing perfectly4.

    The perfect can also become the enemy of the good in the quest5 for perfect information. There are two ways to approach decision-making: as a satisficer (yes, that is a word) or as a maximizer.

    Satisficers are those who make a decision or take action once their criteria6 are met. That doesn’t mean they’ll settle for mediocrity; their criteria can be very high, but as soon as they find the pasta sauce or the business card that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied. Maximizers want to make the optimal7 decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they can’t make a decision until after they’ve examined every option, to make the best possible choice. Studies suggest that satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers; maximizers spend a lot more time and energy to reach a decision, and they’re often anxious about whether they did, in fact, make the best choice. (For a fascinating discussion, read Barry Schwartz’s The Paradox8 of Choice.)

    In almost every category, I’m a satisficer, and in fact, I often felt guilty about not doing more research before making decisions. But it’s one of my Secrets of Adulthood9: Most decisions don’t require extensive research. In picking a girls’ summer camp, a friend got information from 25 camps and visited five in person. We got information from five camps and picked the one that a friend’s daughter loved. I used to think that my lack of diligence was a sign of laziness, and my resolution “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good” has made me feel a lot better.

    In some situations, the happier course is to know when good enough is good enough and not to worry about perfection10 or making the perfect choice.

    伏尔泰曾说过:“别因为苛求完美而错过美好的结果。”在这句话的影响下,我决定如此这般行事。换言之,逼迫自己去追逐不可能实现的“完美”而最终一事无成,还不如接受“不错”。很多事情值得一做,而且非常值得一做。

    我的一个朋友除了做马拉松训练不愿意做任何锻炼;结果,她几乎从不锻炼。我从不在锻炼时苛求自己,而且尽管相信她会嘲笑我的锻炼强度太小,我已经做到多年来每个星期都坚持做几次。如果我过去为自己设定高强度的训练计划,我想我肯定一点锻炼都不曾做。

    本着同样的精神,我告诉一个朋友我的“幸福计划”方案之一便是“记住别人的生日”,并且我常常在别人生日当天发出祝福的E-mail.他说:“你不应该发电子邮件,你应该打电话或者寄一封手写信,那才象样嘛。”他说的的确有道理,不过我不会这么做。如果对事情的完美要求使我们无法做到的话,还不如去先做出某些结果,就算做得不够完美。

    在寻求信息的时候,完美主义同样是表现不错的敌人。做决定时通常有两种方法,一种是立即行动,一种是尽善尽美。

    立即行动者是指那些一旦基本要求得到满足便立即做出决定或采取行动的人。这样的行事方法并不意味着他们会甘于成绩平庸;他们的标准可以很高,但若一旦发现他们需要的意大利面酱或者名片等小事物能达到他们的基本要求,他们就不会多加挑剔。而尽善尽美者则希望执行最佳方案,就算他们发现单车和背包都已经准备好,他们都会犹豫不决,直到他们评估了所有的可能性做出了最佳的选择。研究表明立即行动者会比尽善尽美者更快乐。尽善尽美者在做决定上花费掉太多的时间和精力,而且事实上他们常常会怀疑是否做出了最佳选择而焦虑。(更多精彩的评论,可以阅读 Barry Schwartz所著的《选择的矛盾》)

    几乎每一个方面,我都算是个立即行动者。而且事实上,我常常因为没有在做决定前做大量研究而心有不安。但是这是我作为成年人总结的独有心得:大多数的决定都不需要做广泛的事前研究。在一次为女儿挑选夏令营的过程中,一个朋友搜集了25个夏令营的资料而且亲自实地考察了5个。而我们不过获取了5个夏令营的信息就找到了一个朋友的女儿所满意的。我过去常认为我不够面面俱到,体现了自己的懒惰,而“别因为苛求完美而错过美好”让我觉得安心了很多。

    在某些情况下,获得幸福感的方法就是要认识到不错已经足够好,而不去苛求事事完美或者做出的抉择绝对无可挑剔。

     6级    美文 


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    1 scoffs [skɔfs] 827a1b00ed110a1034413bb93a683bf5   第7级
    嘲笑,嘲弄( scoff的第三人称单数 )
    参考例句:
    • [ Scoffs ] Why should a young girl like that love an old fart like me? 为什么一个那样的年轻女孩应该喜欢我这样的老家伙?
    • The noise of the moment scoffs at the music of the Eternal. 瞬刻的喧声,讥笑着永恒的音乐。
    2 wimpy ['wɪmpɪ] 2e2007f086bd13eaa7a1217cffa68306   第12级
    adj.懦弱的,无用的,哭哭啼啼的
    参考例句:
    • I'd rather have a wimpy kid than a dead one, you know? 你知道么?我宁可要一个懦弱的孩子,也不想要一个死的。 来自互联网
    • I hate wimpy drinker. 我讨厌酒量差的人。 来自互联网
    3 ambitious [æmˈbɪʃəs] GxIzU   第6级
    adj.有雄心的,劲头十足的,有野心的
    参考例句:
    • One may be poor but never ceases to be ambitious. 人穷志不穷。
    • He is an ambitious young man full of enthusiasm and vitality. 他是个充满热情与活力的有远大抱负的青年。
    4 perfectly [ˈpɜ:fɪktli] 8Mzxb   第8级
    adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地
    参考例句:
    • The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said. 证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
    • Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board. 我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。
    5 quest [kwest] OtNy1   第6级
    n.寻求,搜索,追求
    参考例句:
    • Man will suffer many disappointments in his quest for truth. 人类在探索真理过程中必然会遭受挫折。
    • His quest for perfection is relentless. 他不断追求完美。
    6 criteria [kraɪ'tɪərɪə] vafyC   第12级
    n.标准
    参考例句:
    • The main criterion is value for money. 主要的标准是钱要用得划算。
    • There are strict criteria for inclusion in the competition. 参赛的标准很严格。
    7 optimal [ˈɒptɪməl] zmDzhM   第9级
    adj.最适宜的;最理想的;最令人满意的
    参考例句:
    • What is the optimal mix of private and public property rights in natural resources? 私人和国家的自然资源产权的最适宜的组合是什么?
    • Optimal path planning is a key link for the sailing contest. 帆船最优行驶路径规划是帆船比赛取胜的关键环节。
    8 paradox [ˈpærədɒks] pAxys   第7级
    n.似乎矛盾却正确的说法;自相矛盾的人(物)
    参考例句:
    • The story contains many levels of paradox. 这个故事存在多重悖论。
    • The paradox is that Japan does need serious education reform. 矛盾的地方是日本确实需要教育改革。
    9 adulthood [ˈædʌlthʊd] vKsyr   第8级
    n.成年,成人期
    参考例句:
    • Some infantile actions survive into adulthood. 某些婴儿期的行为一直保持到成年期。
    • Few people nowadays are able to maintain friendships into adulthood. 如今很少有人能将友谊维持到成年。
    10 perfection [pəˈfekʃn] GMKxd   第6级
    n.尽善尽美,无比精确
    参考例句:
    • Their works reach to a great height of perfection. 他们的作品到了极完美的境地。
    • The picture wants something of perfection. 这幅画还有些不够完美。

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