Can you change your personality significantly? For example, if you are shy, can you turn yourself into an extrovert¹ who never gets stage fright when speaking in public?

你能彻底改变自己的性格么？比如，从一个害羞之人变成一个在公众面前登台演讲从不怯场的外向之人。

It’s certainly not easy, but experts say it is possible.

显然，这并非易事，但是专家说这也不是天方夜谭。

First of all, you will never stay the same person. The Wall Street Journal reports several research studies conducted over the past few years show a person’s personality naturally changes over time in response to life events such as entering a committed relationship or advancing in your career.

首先，你需要不拘泥于过去的自己。《华尔街日报》报道了在过去几年进行的一些研究，研究发现，人的性格会随着经历一些人生大事而不断变化，比如一段稳定感情的开始、事业的晋升。

From the ages of 20 to 65, people report increases in positive traits. Most people tend to become more agreeable, more responsible, more emotionally stable. Their personalities² improve as they mature.

在25至65岁之间，人们性格中积极的一面会不断增强。大多数人都会变得更加亲切、更具责任心、感情更专一。性格随着人的成熟而日臻完善。

When researchers talk about “personality”, they mean a “characteristic pattern of thinking, feeling and behaving that is consistent over time and across situations,” says Christopher Soto, a research psychologist at Colby College in Maine, US. Soto told The Wall Street Journal that personality is about 50 percent innate³ and 50 percent learned.

在接受《华尔街日报》采访时，美国缅因州科尔比学院的心理学家克里斯托弗•索托说：此处，研究人员所说的“性格”是指“（一个人）不会随时间与具体情况而轻易改变的思维方式、感觉以及行为的特点。”而性格中与生俱来的部分与后天习得的部分各占50%。

Psychologists usually use the Big Five personality model. According to this model, the human personality can be divided into five broad categories or domains⁴ — openness, conscientiousness⁵, agreeableness, neuroticism⁷ and extroversion⁸.

心理学家常使用“五大类”人格模型，将人类的性格分为五大类：开放型、勤奋型、宜人型、神经质和型外向型。

Some personality types are more successful than others. Soto says people who are more conscientious⁶ tend to do better in the workplace and school. People who score high on agreeableness and low on neuroticism tend to have more satisfying and stable relationships. Extroverts⁹ do better in social and entrepreneurial occupations.

其中一些性格类型的人要比其他类型的人更容易成功。索托说，更勤奋的人在工作与学习中表现更好。宜人性高而神经质低的人更容易建立令人满意且稳定的人际关系。外向型的人则在社交与创业中表现突出。

Time is key

时间是关键

According to Soto, even small changes in a person’s personality can produce important effects on relationships, career, health and happiness. But change takes time.

据索托所言，一个人性格的细微改变都可能对其感情、事业、健康与幸福带来巨大影响。但改变需要时间。

“You start by changing the behavior and then, if you can maintain that new behavior over time, it gets encoded,” Soto says.

他说，“你应该从改变行为开始，如果你能在一段时间内保持新的行为方式，那么它就会被渗透到你的性格特点中。”

Where do you start? “First, we have to recognize which pieces of our personality affect us,” says Richard Levak, a well-known personality expert who often appears in US TV programs. “If I am always getting fired because I get into arguments with co-workers and always blame others, then I have to realize that I have to change something,” he says.

你又要从哪里开始（改变）呢？经常现身美国电视节目的知名性格专家理查德•里瓦克的建议是：“首先，我们需要认识到自身性格中的哪一部分对自己产生了影响。如果我常常会因为与同事的争论而遭到解雇，却责怪他人，那么我就会意识到自己必须在某些方面有所改变。”

Don’t set your expectations too high. Be patient. Warren Kennaugh, a behavioral strategist in Sydney, Australia, says it’s important to start small. Identify a first step and then practice it without worrying about the initial results. “It’s like learning to kick a football, you focus on the steps, not whether it goes in the goal,” The Wall Street Journal quoted him as saying.

不过也不要把你的目标定得太高。要有耐心。来自澳大利亚悉尼的行为策略师沃伦•肯诺就认为从小处做起很重要。确定你第一步要做什么，然后进行练习，不要担心最初的结果。正如《华尔街日报》引用他的话：“这就像学踢足球一样。你关注的是脚法，而不是能否射门。”

You should also let the people close to you know what you’re doing. “Not only can they be supportive,” Kennaugh says, “but a change for you can also mean a change for them — one they may not want or be ready for, if they aren’t told beforehand.”

你还应该让身边的人知道你在做什么。肯诺说：“他们不仅能为你提供支持，而且你的改变也意味着对他们的改变——如果你不事先告诉他们的话，他们也许会对你的改变感到难以接受或是还没有做好准备。”