It took three years to build the orphanage¹. I was eight by then. I remember the day before the orphanage opened, Baba took me to Ghargha Lake, a few miles north of Kabul. He asked me to fetch Hassan too, but I lied and told him Hassan had the runs. I wanted Baba all to myself. And besides, one time at Ghargha Lake, Hassan and I were skimming stones and Hassan made his stone skip eight times. The most I managed was five. Baba was there, watching, and he patted Hassan on the back. Even put his arm around his shoulder.

We sat at a picnic table on the banks of the lake, just Baba and me, eating boiled eggs with "kofta" sandwiches--meatballs and pickles² wrapped in "naan". The water was a deep blue and sunlight glittered on its looking glass-clear surface. On Fridays, the lake was bustling³ with families out for a day in the sun. But it was midweek and there was only Baba and me, us and a couple of longhaired, bearded tourists--"hippies," I'd heard them called. They were sitting on the dock, feet dangling⁴ in the water, Fishing poles in hand. I asked Baba why they grew their hair long, but Baba grunted⁵, didn't answer. He was preparing his speech for the next day, flipping⁶ through a havoc⁷ of handwritten pages, making notes here and there with a pencil. I bit into my egg and asked Baba if it was true what a boy in school had told me, that if you ate a piece of eggshell, you'd have to pee it out. Baba grunted again.

I took a bite of my sandwich. One of the yellow-haired tourists laughed and slapped the other one on the back. In the distance, across the lake, a truck lumbered⁸ around a corner on the hill. Sunlight twinkled in its side-view mirror.

"I think I have 'saratan', " I said. Cancer. Baba lifted his head from the pages flapping in the breeze. Told me I could get the soda⁹ myself, all I had to do was look in the trunk of the car.

恤孤院工程耗时三年，盖好的那年我八岁。我记得恤孤院落成前一天，爸爸带我去喀布尔以北几英里远的喀尔卡湖。他让我叫上哈桑，但我撒谎，说哈桑有事情要做。我要爸爸全属我一人。再说，有一次哈桑和我在喀尔卡湖畔打水漂，他的石头跳了八下，我用尽力气，也只能跳五下。爸爸在旁边看着我们，他伸手拍拍哈桑的后背，甚至还用手臂搂住他的肩膀。

我们在湖边的野餐桌旁边坐下来，只有爸爸跟我，吃着水煮蛋和肉丸夹饼--就是馕饼夹着肉丸和腌黄瓜。湖水澄蓝，波平如镜，阳光照在湖上熠熠生辉。每逢周五，总有很多家庭到湖边，在阳光下度过假期。但那天不是周末，那儿只有我们--爸爸和我，还有几个留着胡子和长发的游客，我听说他们叫"嬉皮士"。他们坐在码头上，手里拿着钓鱼竿，脚板在水里晃荡。我问爸爸，为什么那些人留着长头发，但爸爸没有回答，只哼了一声。他正准备翌日的演讲，翻阅着一叠手稿，不时用铅笔做些记号。我吃一口鸡蛋，告诉爸爸，学校里面有个男孩说，要是吃下鸡蛋壳，就得将它尿出来。我问爸爸这是不是真的，爸爸又哼了一声。

我咬一口夹饼。有个黄头发的游客放声大笑，用手拍拍另外一人的后背。远处，在湖那边，一辆卡车蹒跚着转过山路的拐角处，它的观后镜反射出闪闪的阳光。

“我想我得了癌症。”我说。和风吹拂着那些手稿，爸爸抬头，告诉我可以自行去拿些苏打水，我所能做的，便只有去搜寻那轿车的行李箱。