Later that night, I was passing by my father's study when I overheard him speaking to Rahim Khan. I pressed my ear to the closed door.

那天夜里，我路过爸爸的书房，偷听到他在跟拉辛汗说话。我将耳朵贴在门板上。

"-grateful that he's healthy," Rahim Khan was saying.

"……谢天谢地，他身体健康。"拉辛汗说。

"I know, I know. But he's always buried in those books or shuffling¹ around the house like he's lost in some dream."

"我知道，我知道，可他总是埋在书堆里，要不就在家里晃晃悠悠，好像梦游一般。"

"And?"

"那又怎样?"

"I wasn't like that." Baba sounded frustrated², almost angry.

"我可不是这个样子。"爸爸丧气地说，声音中还有些愤怒。

Rahim Khan laughed. "Children aren't coloring books. You don't get to fill them with your favorite colors."

拉辛汗笑起来。"孩子又不是图画练习册，你不能光顾着要涂上自己喜欢的色彩。"

"I'm telling you,"Baba said, "I wasn't like that at all, and neither were any of the kids I grew up with."

"我是说，"爸爸说,"我根本不是那个样子的。跟我一起长大的孩子也没有像他那样的。"

"You know, sometimes you are the most self-centered man I know," Rahim Khan said. He was the only person I knew who could get away with saying something like that to Baba.

"你知道，有时你是我认识的人中最自以为是的了。"拉辛汗说。在我认识的人中，只有他敢这么跟爸爸说话。

"It has nothing to do with that."

"跟这个没有任何关系。"

"Nay³?"

"没有吗?"

"Nay."

"没有。"

"Then what?"

"那跟什么有关系?"

I heard the leather of Baba's seat creaking as he shifted on it. I closed my eyes, pressed my ear even harder against the door, wanting to hear, not wanting to hear. "Sometimes I look out this window and I see him playing on the street with the neighborhood boys. I see how they push him around, take his toys from him, give him a shove here, a whack⁴ there. And, you know, he never fights back. Never. He just... drops his head and..."

我听到爸爸挪动身子，皮椅吱吱作响。我合上双眼，耳朵更加紧贴着门板，又想听，又不想听。"有时我从这扇窗望出去，我看到他跟邻居的孩子在街上玩。我看到他们推搡他，拿走他的玩具，在这儿推他一下，在那儿打他一下。你知道，他从不反击，从不。他只是……低下头，然后……"

"So he's not violent,"Rahim Khan said.

"这说明他并不暴戾。"拉辛汗说。

"That's not what I mean, Rahim, and you know it,"Baba shot back. "There is something missing in that boy."

"我不是这个意思，拉辛，你知道的。"爸爸朝他嚷着,"这孩子身上缺了某些东西。"

"Yes, a mean streak⁵."

"是的，缺了卑劣的性格。"

"Self-defense has nothing to do with meanness. You know what always happens when the neighborhood boys tease him? Hassan steps in and fends⁶ them off. I've seen it with my own eyes. And when they come Home, I say to him,‘How did Hassan get that scrape on his face?’And he says, ‘He fell down.’I'm telling you, Rahim, there is something missing in that boy."

"自我防卫跟卑劣毫不搭边。你知道事情总是怎么样的吗?每当那些邻居的孩子欺负他，总是哈桑挺身而出，将他们挡回去。这是我亲眼见到的。他们回家之后，我问他,'哈桑脸上的伤痕是怎么回事?'他说:'他摔了一跤。'我跟你说，拉辛，这孩子身上缺了某些东西。"

"You just need to let him find his way,"Rahim Khan said.

"你只消让他找到自己的路。"拉辛汗说。

"And where is he headed?"Baba said. "A boy who won't stand up for himself becomes a man who can't stand up to anything."

"可是他要走去哪里呢?"爸爸说，"一个不能保护自己的男孩，长大之后什么东西都保护不了。"

"As usual you're oversimplifying."

"你总是将问题过度简化了。"

"I don't think so."

"我认为不是的。"

"You're angry because you're afraid he'll never take over the Business for you."

"你生气，是因为你害怕他不会接管你的生意。"

"Now who's oversimplifying?"Baba said. "Look, I know there's a fondness between you and him and I'm happy about that. Envious⁷, but happy. I mean that. He needs someone who...understands him, because God knows I don't. But something about Amir troubles me in a way that I can't express. It's like..."I could see him searching, reaching for the right words. He lowered his voice, but I heard him anyway. "If I hadn't seen the doctor pull him out of my wife with my own eyes, I'd never believe he's my son."

"现在谁在简化问题?"爸爸说，"看吧，我知道你跟他关系很好，这我很高兴。我是说，我有些妒忌，但很高兴。他需要有人……有人能理解他，因为真主知道我理解不了。可是阿米尔身上有些东西让我很烦恼，我又说不清楚，它像是……"我能猜到他在寻觅，在搜寻一个恰当的字眼。他放低了声音，但终究还是让我听到了。"要不是我亲眼看着大夫把他从我老婆肚子里拉出来，我肯定不相信他是我的儿子。"

THE NEXT MORNING, as he was preparing my breakfast, Hassan asked if something was bothering me. I snapped at him, told him to mind his own Business.

次日清晨，哈桑在替我准备早餐，他问我是不是有什么烦心的事情。我朝他大吼，叫他别多管闲事。

Rahim Khan had been wrong about the mean streak thing.

至于那卑劣的性格，拉辛汗错了。