Of course, marrying a poet was one thing, but fathering a son who preferred burying his face in poetry books to hunting... well, that wasn't how Baba had envisioned it, I suppose. Real men didn't read poetry--and God forbid they should ever write it! Real men--real boys--played soccer just as Baba had when he had been young. Now "that" was something to be passionate¹ about. In 1970, Baba took a break from the construction of the orphanage² and flew to Tehran for a month to watch the World Cup games on television, since at the time Afghanistan didn't have TVs yet. He signed me up for soccer teams to stir the same passion in me. But I was pathetic, a blundering liability to my own team, always in the way of an opportune³ pass or unwittingly blocking an open lane. I shambled about the field on scraggy legs, squalled for passes that never came my way. And the harder I tried, waving my arms over my head frantically⁴ and screeching⁵, "I'm open! I'm open!" the more I went ignored. But Baba wouldn't give up. When it became abundantly clear that I hadn't inherited a shred⁶ of his athletic⁷ talents, he settled for trying to turn me into a passionate spectator. Certainly I could manage that, couldn't I? I faked interest for as long as possible. I cheered with him when Kabul's team scored against Kandahar and yelped⁸ insults at the referee⁹ when he called a penalty against our team. But Baba sensed my lack of genuine interest and resigned himself to the bleak¹⁰ fact that his son was never going to either play or watch soccer.

当然，跟诗人结婚是一回事，但生个喜欢埋首诗书多过打猎的儿子……这么说吧，那可不是爸爸所希望看到的，我想。真正的男人不看诗--真主也禁止他们创作呢。真正的男人--真正的男孩--应该像爸爸小时候那样踢足球去，那才是值得付出热情的玩意儿。1970年，爸爸暂停了恤孤院的工程，飞往德黑兰，在那儿停留一个月：由于阿富汗当时还没有电视，他只好去那边看世界杯足球赛。为了激起我对足球的热情，他替我报名参加球队。但我这个可怜虫变成球队的负担，不是传丢了球，就是愚蠢地挡住队友的进攻路线。我瘦弱的双腿跌跌撞撞地在球场上奔跑，声嘶力竭，球却不会滚到我脚下来。我越是喊得起劲，双手在头顶尽力挥舞，高声大喊:"传给我，传给我!"队友越是对我视若不见。但爸爸从不放弃。等到他没有将任何运动天分遗传给我的事实昭然若揭之后，他又开始试着把我变成一个热情的观众。当然，我能做得到，不是吗?我尽量装得兴致勃勃。我跟他一起，每逢喀布尔队跟坎大哈Kandahar，阿富汗南部城市。队比赛，就大喊大叫；每逢我们的球队遭到判罚，就咒骂裁判。但爸爸察觉到我并非真心实意，只好黯然放弃，接受这个悲惨的事实：他的儿子非但不喜欢玩足球，连当观众也心不在焉。

I remember one time Baba took me to the yearly "Buzkashi" tournament that took place on the first day of spring, New Year's Day. Buzkashi was, and still is, Afghanistan's national passion. A "chapandaz", a highly skilled horseman usually patronized by rich aficionados¹¹, has to snatch a goat or cattle carcass from the midst of a melee¹², carry that carcass with him around the stadium at full gallop¹³, and drop it in a scoring circle while a team of other "chapandaz" chases him and does everything in its power--kick, claw, whip, punch--to snatch the carcass from him. That day, the crowd roared with excitement as the horsemen on the field bellowed¹⁴ their battle cries and jostled for the carcass in a cloud of dust. The earth trembled with the clatter¹⁵ of hooves. We watched from the upper bleachers as riders pounded past us at full gallop, yipping and yelling, foam¹⁶ flying from their horses' mouths.

我记得有个新年，爸爸带我去看一年一度的比武竞赛。比武竞赛在春季的第一天举行，至今仍是阿富汗举国热爱的赛事。技艺精熟的骑士通常会得到大亨的赞助，他必须在混战中夺得一只屠宰后的羊或牛，驮着它全速绕看台迅跑，然后将其丢进得分圈。在他后面，会有另外一群骑士追逐着他，竭尽所能--脚踢、手抓、鞭打、拳击--试图将牛羊夺过来。那天，骑士在战场上高声叫喊，横冲直撞，激起重重尘雾；观众则沸反盈天，兴奋异常；马蹄得得，震得大地抖动。我们坐在看台的座位上，看着那些骑士在我们面前呼啸而过，他们的坐骑则白沫横飞。

At one point Baba pointed¹⁷ to someone. "Amir, do you see that man sitting up there with those other men around him?"

爸爸指着某个人:"阿米尔，你看到坐在那边的家伙吗，身边围着很多人那个?"

I did.

我说:"看到了"。

"That's Henry Kissinger."

"那是亨利·基辛格。"

"Oh,"I said. I didn't know who Henry Kissinger was, and I might have asked. But at the moment, I watched with horror as one of the "chapandaz" fell off his saddle and was trampled¹⁸ under a score of hooves. His body was tossed and hurled¹⁹ in the stampede like a rag doll, finally rolling to a stop when the melee moved on. He twitched²⁰ once and lay motionless, his legs bent²¹ at unnatural²² angles, a pool of his blood soaking through the sand.

"哦。"我不知道基辛格是何许人，兴许随口问了。但在那个关头，我见到一件恐怖的事情：有个骑士从鞍上跌落，数十只马蹄从他身上践踏而过。他的身体像个布娃娃，在马蹄飞舞间被拉来扯去。马队飞奔而过，他终于跌落下来，抽搐了一下，便再也没有动弹；他的双腿弯曲成不自然的角度，大片的血液染红了沙地。

I began to cry.

我放声大哭。

I cried all the way back Home. I remember how Baba's hands clenched²³ around the steering²⁴ wheel. Clenched and unclenched. Mostly, I will never forget Baba's valiant²⁵ efforts to conceal²⁶ the disgusted look on his face as he drove in silence.

我一路上哭着回家。我记得爸爸的手死死抓住方向盘，一会儿抓紧，一会儿放松。更重要的是，爸爸开车时沉默不语，厌恶溢于言表，我永远都不会忘记。