Fremont, California. 1980s 弗里蒙特，加利福尼亚，1980年代

Baba loved the idea of America. 爸爸爱美国的理想。

It was living in America that gave him an ulcer¹. 正是在美国生活，让他得了溃疡。

I remember the two of us walking through Lake Elizabeth Park in Fremont, a few streets down from our apartment, and watching boys at batting practice, little girls giggling² on the swings in the playground. Baba would enlighten me with his politics during those walks with long-winded dissertations³. “There are only three real men in this world, Amir,” he’d say. He’d count them off on his fingers: America the brash savior, Britain, and Israel. “The rest of them--” he used to wave his hand and make a phht sound “--they’re like gossiping old women.” 我记得我们两个走过几条街道，在弗里蒙特的伊丽莎白湖公园散步，看着男孩练习挥棒，女孩在游戏场的秋千上咯咯娇笑。爸爸会利用步行的机会，长篇大论对我灌输他的政治观点。“这个世界上只有三个真正的男人，阿米尔，”他说，他伸出手指数着，“美国这个鲁莽的救世主，英国，还有以色列。剩下那些……”通常他会挥挥手，发出不屑的声音，“他们都像是饶舌的老太婆。”

The bit about Israel used to draw the ire of Afghans in Fremont who accused him of being pro-Jewish and, de facto, anti Islam. Baba would meet them for tea and rowt cake at the park, drive them crazy with his politics. “What they don’t understand,” he’d tell me later, “is that religion has nothing to do with it.” In Baba’s view, Israel was an island of “real men” in a sea of Arabs too busy getting fat off their oil to care for their own. “Israel does this, Israel does that,” Baba would say in a mock-Arabic accent. “Then do something about it! Take action. You’re Arabs, help the Palestinians, then!” 他关于以色列的说法惹恼了弗里蒙特的阿富汗人，他们指责他亲近犹太人，而这实际上就是反对伊斯兰。爸爸跟他们聚会，喝茶，吃点心，用他的政治观念将他们气疯。“他们所不明白的是，”后来他告诉我，“那跟宗教毫无关系。”在爸爸眼里，以色列是“真正的男人”居住的岛屿，虽然处在阿拉伯海洋的包围之下，可是阿拉伯人只顾着出卖石油赚钱，毫不关心自家人的事情。“以色列干这个，以色列干那个，”爸爸会模仿阿拉伯人的语气说，“那做些事情啊!行动啊!你们这些阿拉伯人，那么去帮巴勒斯坦啊!”

He loathed⁴ Jimmy Carter, whom he called a “big-toothed cretin.” In 1980, when we were still in Kabul, the U.S. announced it would be boycotting⁵ the Olympic Games in Moscow. “Wah wah!” Baba exclaimed with disgust. “Brezhnev is massacring Afghans and all that peanut eater can say is I won’t come swim in your pool.” Baba believed Carter had unwittingly done more for communism than Leonid Brezhnev. “He’s not fit to run this country. It’s like putting a boy who can’t ride a bike behind the wheel of a brand new Cadillac.” What America and the world needed was a hard man. A man to be reckoned with, someone who took action instead of wringing⁶ his hands. That someone came in the form of Ronald Reagan. And when Reagan went on TV and called the Shorawi “the Evil Empire,” Baba went out and bought a picture of the grinning president giving a thumbs up. He framed the picture and hung it in our hallway, nailing it right next to the old black-and-white of himself in his thin necktie shaking hands with King Zahir Shah. Most of our neighbors in Fremont were bus drivers, policemen, gas station attendants, and unwed mothers collecting welfare, exactly the sort of blue-collar people who would soon suffocate⁷ under the pillow Reganomics pressed to their faces. Baba was the lone⁸ Republican in our building. 他讨厌吉米?卡特，管他叫“大牙齿的蠢货”。早在1980年，我们还在喀布尔，美国宣布抵制在莫斯科举办的奥运会。“哇!哇!”爸爸充满厌恶地说，“勃列日涅夫入侵阿富汗，那个捏软柿子的家伙居然只说我不去你家的泳池游泳。”爸爸认为卡特愚蠢的做法助长了勃列日涅夫的气焰。“他不配掌管这个国家。这好像让一个连自行车都不会骑的小孩去驾驶一辆崭新的卡迪拉克。”美国，乃至世界需要的是一个强硬的汉子，一个会被看得起、会采取行动而非一筹莫展的人。罗纳德?里根就是这样的硬汉。当里根在电视现身，将俄国称为“邪恶帝国”，爸爸跑出去，买回一张照片：总统微笑着竖起拇指。他把照片裱起来，挂在入门的墙上，将它钉在一张黑白的老照片右边，在那张照片里面，他系着领带，跟查希尔国王握手。我们在弗里蒙特的邻居多数是巴士司机、警察、加油站工人、靠救济金生活的未婚妈妈，确切地说，全都是被里根的经济政策压得喘不过气来的蓝领工人。爸爸是我们那栋楼惟一的共和党员。

But the Bay Area’s smog stung his eyes, the traffic noise gave him headaches, and the pollen⁹ made him cough. The fruit was never sweet enough, the water never clean enough, and where were all the trees and open fields? For two years, I tried to get Baba to enroll¹⁰ in ESL classes to improve his broken English. But he scoffed¹¹ at the idea. “Maybe I’ll spell ‘cat’ and the teacher will give me a glittery little star so I can run home and show it off to you,” he’d grumble¹². 但交通的浓雾刺痛他的眼睛，汽车的声响害他头痛，还有，花粉也让他咳嗽。水果永远不够甜，水永远不够干净，所有的树林和原野到哪里去了?开头两年，我试着让爸爸参加英语培训班的课程，提高他那口破英语，但他对此不屑一顾。“也许我会把‘cat’拼出来，然后老师会奖给我一颗闪闪发光的星星，那么我就可以跑回家，拿着它向你炫耀了。”他会这么咕哝。

One Sunday in the spring of 1983, I walked into a small bookstore that sold used paperbacks¹³, next to the Indian movie theater just west of where Amtrak crossed Fremont Boulevard. I told Baba I’d be out in five minutes and he shrugged¹⁴. He had been working at a gas station in Fremont and had the day off. I watched him jaywalk across Fremont Boulevard and enter Fast & Easy, a little grocery store run by an elderly Vietnamese couple, Mr. and Mrs. Nguyen. They were gray-haired, friendly people; she had Parkinson’s, he’d had his hip¹⁵ replaced. “He’s like Six Million Dollar Man now,” she always said to me, laughing toothlessly. “Remember Six Million Dollar Man, Amir?” Then Mr. Nguyen would scowl¹⁶ like Lee Majors, pretend he was running in slow motion. 1983年春季的某个星期天，我走进一家出售平装旧书的小店，旁边是家印度电影院，往东是美国国家铁路和弗里蒙特大道交界的地方。我跟爸爸说等我五分钟，他耸耸肩。他当时在弗里蒙特某个加油站上班，那天休假。我看到他横跨弗里蒙特大道，走进一家杂货便利店，店主是一对年老的越南夫妻，阮先生和他的太太。他们白发苍苍，待人友善，太太得了帕金森症，先生则换过髋骨。“他现在看起来像《无敌金刚》了，”她总是这么笑着对我说，张开没有牙齿的嘴巴。“记得《无敌金刚》吗，阿米尔?”接着阮先生会学着李?梅杰斯，怒眉倒竖，以缓慢的动作假装正在跑步。

I was flipping¹⁷ through a worn copy of a Mike Hammer mystery when I heard screaming and glass breaking. I dropped the book and hurried across the street. I found the Nguyens behind the counter, all the way against the wall, faces ashen¹⁸, Mr. Nguyen’s arms wrapped around his wife. On the floor: oranges, an overturned magazine rack, a broken jar of beef jerky, and shards¹⁹ of glass at Baba’s feet. 我正在翻阅一本破旧的麦克?汉默［1］MikeHammer，美国作家迈克?斯毕兰（MikeSpillane1918～）创作的系列恐怖小说主角。［1］悬疑小说，这当头传来一声尖叫，还有玻璃碎裂的声音。我放下书，匆匆穿过马路。我发现阮先生夫妇在柜台后面，脸如死灰，紧贴墙壁，阮先生双手抱着他的太太。地板上散落着橙子，翻倒的杂志架，一个装牛肉干的破罐子，爸爸脚下还有玻璃的碎片。

It turned out that Baba had had no cash on him for the oranges. He’d written Mr. Nguyen a check and Mr. Nguyen had asked for an ID. “He wants to see my license²⁰,” Baba bellowed²¹ in Farsi. “Almost two years we’ve bought his damn fruits and put money in his pocket and the son of a dog wants to see my license!” 原来爸爸买了橙子，身上却没有现金。他给阮先生开了支票，阮先生想看看他的身份证。“他想看我的证件，”爸爸用法尔西语咆哮，“快两年了，我在这里买这些该死的水果，把钱放进他的口袋，而这个狗杂碎居然要看我的证件!”

“Baba, it’s not personal,” I said, smiling at the Nguyens. “They’re supposed to ask for an ID.” “爸爸，这又不是针对你。”我说，朝阮氏夫妇挤出微笑，“他们理应查看证件的。”

“I don’t want you here,” Mr. Nguyen said, stepping in front of his wife. He was pointing at Baba with his cane²². He turned to me.“You’re nice young man but your father, he’s crazy. Not welcome anymore.” “我不欢迎你在这里，”阮先生说，站在他妻子身前，他用拐杖指着爸爸，然后转向我，“你是个很好的年轻人，但是你爸爸，他是个疯子。这里再也不欢迎他。”