I have a friend who is falling in love. She honestly claims the sky is bluer. Mozart moves her to tears. She has lost 15 pounds and looks like a cover girl.

我的一位朋友正在热恋她坦称天空比以前更蓝了，莫扎特的音乐让她落泪。她的体重也下降了巧磅，看卜去就像一个封面女郎.

"I'm young again!" she shouts exuberantly¹.

“我又年轻啦!”她激动地大喊.

I've taken a good look at my old one. My husband of almost 20 years, Scott, has gained 15 pounds. Once a marathon runner, he now runs only down hospital halls. His hairline is receding² and his body shows the signs of long working hours and too many candy bars. Yet he can still give me a certain look across a restaurant table and I want to ask for the check and head home.

我将我的旧爱细细审视了一遍。和我共度了将近20年的丈夫斯科特体重增加了15磅。从前的马拉松运动员，如今只能在医院的大厅里跑来跑去，他前额的头发越来越少，从体型能看出他工作时间长，并且糖块吃得太多。但他仍能隔着餐馆的桌子，用眼神向我发出暗示，然后我会立刻结账

当朋友问我是什么让我们的爱情持续时，我的脑海里立刻浮现出所有那些显而易见的答案:承诺、共同爱好、无私奉献、身体吸引、沟通交流，还有很多。我们仍然拥有乐趣，那些随意而来的美好时光。昨天，解开捆报纸的橡皮筋后，斯科特开玩笑地弹了我一下，随即引发了一场全面的“战争”。上周六在杂货店，我们分开购物，比赛看谁先买好东西到结账处。甚至洗碗也能大闹一下。我们只是享受简单的共处。

When my friend asked me "what will make this love last," I ran through all the obvious reasons: commitment, shared interests, unselfishness, physical amaction, communication yet there's more: We still have fun. Spontaneous good times. Yesterday, after slipping the rubber band off the rolled-up newspapers, Scott flipped³ it playfully at me: this led to an all-out war. Last Saturday at the grocery, we split the list and raced each other to see who could make it to the checkout⁴ first.. Even washing dishes can be a blast. We enjoy simply being together.

另外还有惊喜。一天我回到家，看到门前贴着一张便条，它把我引向另一张便条，然后是另外一张，一直把我引向家里可进人的壁橱门，发现斯科特站在里面，一手拿着“金壶”(我的蒸煮锅)，一手拿着一包包装精美的宝物。我有时也在镜子上给他留便条，或把小礼物放在他的枕头下。

And there are surprises. One time I came home to find a note on the front door that led me to another note, and then another, until I reached the walk-in closet. I opened the door to find Scott holding a "pot of gold" (my cooking kettle) and the "treasure" of a gift package. Sometimes I leave him notes on the mirror and little presents under his pillow.

还有理解:我理解他为什么一定要和伙伴们打篮球。他也理解我为什么每年都要找机会离开家和孩子们(甚至他)几天，同我的姐妹们没完没了地聊啊笑啊

There is understanding. I understand why he must play basketball with the guys. And he understands why, once a year, t must get away from the house, the kids一and even him一to meet my sisters for a few days of nonstop talking and laughing

还有分享。我们不但分担家务琐事和为人父母的责任，还交流思想。斯科特上月去开会，回来后他送给我一本厚厚的历史小说。虽然他更喜欢恐怖及科幻小说，他还是在飞机上将这木小说读完当他解释说是因为想我读完后能与我交换心得时，我深受感动。

There is sharing. Not only do we share household worries and parental⁶ burdens-we also share ideas. Scott came home from a convention last month and presented me with a thick historical novel.Though he prefers thrillers⁷ and science fiction, he had read the novel on the plane. He touched my heart when he explained it was because he wanted to be able to exchange ideas about the book after I'd read it.

还有宽恕当我聚会上让人尴尬地喊叫疯狂时，他原谅了我。当他承认在股市赔进去我们的一些积蓄时，我拥抱着他说:“没关系不过是些钱了。”

There is forgiveness. When I'm embarrassingly loud and crazy at parties, Scott forgives me.When he confessed losing some of our savings⁸ in the stock market, I gave him a hug and said,“It is Ok. It is only money."

还有感受，上周，他进门时，他脸上的表情告诉我，那天糟透了，他和孩子们玩了一会儿，之后我问他发生什么事。他给我讲r一个60岁老太太的事情，这个老太太得了中风可忆起老太太的丈夫站在她床边，抚摸着她的手的情景，他情不自禁地流下了眼泪。他怎么忍心告诉丈夫这个与他相伴40年的妻子可能永远不能康复啊!我也不禁落泪，因为那位老太太不治的病情;因为仍有40年的夫妻;因为经过数年的病房工作，整天面对垂死的病人，我的丈夫仍会感动，仍心存怜悯.

There is sensitivity. Last week he walked through the door with that look that tells me it's been a tough day. After he spent some time with the kids, I asked him what happened. He told me about a 60-year-old woman who'd had a stroke. He wept as he recalled the woman's husband standing⁵ beside her bed, caressing⁹ her hand. How was he going to tell this husband of 40 years that his wife would probably never recover? I shed a few tears myself. Because of the medical crisis. Because there were still people who have been married 40 years. Because my husband is still moved and concerned after years of hospital rooms and dying patients.

还有信念。上周二一个朋友过来看我，向我倾诉，她的丈夫已经没有和痛症抗争的勇气了.周三我和一个朋友共进晚餐，她已经离婚，正在努力开始新的生活,周四一个邻居打电话过来，谈到她公公因老年痴呆症的影响，性格和以前大不一样。周五一个童年时代的朋友打来长途电话，告诉我她父亲已经去世挂断电话，回想起这一周发生了太多令人心痛的事情一擦干眼泪，我出门去办事我注意到窗外剑兰盛开着的桔黄色的花，听到了儿子和其他小朋友玩耍时开心的笑声，也看到了邻居家里办婚宴的情景，穿着绸缎婚纱的新娘将手中的花束扔给她那帮欢呼着的朋友。那天晚上，我和丈夫谈及这些事情我们互相帮助，彼此都认识到这只是生命的轮回，生活中的苦与乐是相对的因此，我们应该让生活继续.

There is faith. Last Tuesday a friend came over and confessed her fear that her husband is losing his courageous¹⁰ battle with cancer. On Wednesday I went to lunch with a friend who is struggling to reshape her life after divorce. On Thursday a neighbor called to talk about the frightening effects of Alzheimer's disease on her father-in-law's personality. On Friday a childhood friend called long-distance to tell me her father had died. I hung up the phone and thought, this is too much heartache for one week. Through my tears, as I went out to run some errands, I noticed the boisterous¹¹ orange blossoms of the gladiolus outside my window. I heard the delighted laughter of my son and his friend as they played. I caught sight of  a wedding party emerging from a neighbor's house. The bride, dressed in satin and lace, tossed her bouquet¹² to her cheering friends. That night, I told my husband about these events. We helped each other acknowledge the cycles of life and that the joys counter the sorrows. It was enough to keep us going.

最后还有相知我知道斯科特每晚都会将要洗的衣服扔在一旁，因为他害怕受到约束;我知道约会时他经常会迟到;我还知道他往往会消灭掉盒子里的最后一块巧克力他知道我睡觉时头上要压一只枕一失，他知道每隔一段时间我都会忘记带钥匙，他知道我也会消灭掉最后一块巧克力.

Finally, there is knowing. I know Scott will throw his laundry just shy of the hamper¹³ every night; he'll be late to most appointments and eat the last chocolate in the box. He knows that I sleep with a pillow over my head; I'll lock us out of the house at a regular basis, and I will also eat the last chocolate.

我想，我们的爱情之所以持久，是因为它让我们轻松自在。天空依然是我们熟悉的颜色，并没有更蓝。我们并没有感觉到特别年轻:我们经历得太多太多，这让我们成熟，带来智慧，也在我们的身体上刻下印记，并创造了我们共同的记忆.

I guess our love lasts because it is comfortable. No, the sky is not bluer: it's just a familiar hue¹⁴.We don't feel particularly young: we've experienced too much that has contributed to our growth and wisdom, taking its toll"' on our bodies, and created our memories.

我希望大家已经知道是什么让我们的爱情能够持续。结婚的时候，我就在斯科特的结婚戒指上刻上了罗伯特·布朗宁的话:“和我一起变老”，而我们现在就是这样做的.

I hope we've got what it takes to make our love last. As a bride, I had band engraved¹⁵ instructions. with Robert Browning's line "Grow old along with me!" We're Scott's wedding following those.

“任何真实的东西，只要有心，都叮以变得很简单”

"If anything is real, the heart will make it plain."