7 Sign s Your Fighting Is a Problem

7个迹象表明你的争吵是一个的问题

1. It seems to be happening more and more often.

这似乎是越来越经常发生。

It's normal to fight sometimes, but if you feel like even a "Can you pick up Bagel Bites on the way home?" text turns into an e-screaming match, it's time to look at what the hell is up with you two.

有时打架是很正常的,但如果你觉得即使是“在回家的路上你能捡起百吉饼咬吗?“文本变成一个电子尖叫匹配,是时候看看你们两个到底是怎么了。

2. When you're done fighting, you realize you can't even remember what the other person said.

当你争吵后,你意识到你甚至不能记得对方说什么。

If you're tuning¹ him out because you feel like he's being a jerk or you feel like you don't even want to hear what he has to say because you're right and he's wrong, then you've stopped actually listening to each other, which is maybe the biggest problem you could have (outside of physical violence, obviously, which is easily the biggest "this is a problem, seriously leave if you can safely leave" problem). Which leads me to...

如果你不听他的是因为你觉得他是一个混蛋或者你觉得你甚至不想听他说什么,因为你是对的,他是错的,那么你实际上已经不再倾听彼此,也许最大的问题是你可以(暴力之外,显然,这无疑是最大的“这是一个问题,严重的是离开，如果你可以安全地离开”问题)。这让我……

3. If it's begun to get physical.

如果是开始动手动脚。

It can start off small, with someone pushing you to make a point or something, but that's enough to be concerned. There's no reason for him to ever become physically² violent with you or the other way around. None.

它可以开始很小,有人推动你做点什么的,但这就够了。他没有理由变得身体暴力或与你相反。没有。

4. You've started keeping track of who's "winning."

你开始记住谁“胜利”了。

If there's a scoreboard in your head for how many times you've come out of each fight victorious³, you've also forgotten that this is supposed to be your partner, not your verbal boxing opponent.

如果有一个记分板在你的脑海中有多少次你的每个战斗胜利,你也忘记了,这应该是你的伴侣,而不是你的言语攻击对象。

5. You've started avoiding being around them because you know even being in the same room will lead to a fight.

你开始避免在他周围因为你知道即使是在同一个房间里也会导致战斗。

If you can't even be in the same room with him without wanting to verbally chop his head off with a weapon from

如果你甚至不能与他在同一间屋子里没有想口头武器砍下他的脑袋

Game of Thrones

权力的游戏

, yeah, I'd say that's a problem.

是的,我想说这是一个问题。

6. Your friends are telling you to just break up already.

你的朋友告诉你分手了。

Everyone understands that couples fight and it doesn't mean they need to end it, but if your friends are so over your back-and-forth bullshit that they're all like, "Enough! End it. You're not happy!" they're probably right.

每个人都明白,夫妻打架,这并不意味着他们需要结束它,但如果你的朋友在你反复的废话,他们都喜欢,“够了!结束它。你不快乐!“也许他们是对的。

7. Even when you settle issues, they're still not really settled.

甚至当你解决问题时,他们还没有真正解决。

If you're saying you're fine, but then inside you're angrily scribbling⁴ in your journal about what a cock ring your partner is, that probably means things are never really good between you two anymore because you've never given them the chance to be. Plus, he doesn't know you're still upset, so he doesn't have a chance to rectify⁵ the situation.

如果你说你很好,但是后来你愤怒地在你的日记里乱写你伴侣的什么阴茎环,这可能意味着你们两个之间的事情从未真正好了,因为你从来没有给他们机会。另外,他不知道你还难过,所以他不会有机会扭转局面。