There is no specific advice on how to use your body language. What you do might be interpreted in several ways, depending on the setting and who you are talking to. You’ll probably want to use your body language differently when talking to your boss compared to when you talk to a girl/guy you’re interested in. These are some common interpretations¹ of body language and often more effective ways to communicate with your body。

其实如何使用肢体语言并没有什么明确的建议。毕竟，随着环境和说话对象的不同，你的肢体语言也会产生不同的理解。和自己老板又或是喜欢的女生/男生聊天时，你的肢体语言当然会不一样啦。下面是对肢体语言的一般理解，能让你和自己的身体更好的协调沟通哦。

First, to change your body language you must be aware of your body language. Notice how you sit, how you stand, how you use you hands and legs, what you do while talking to someone。

首先，要改变自己的肢体语言，你必须先要意识到它。注意一下自己的坐姿和站姿、手势和腿的动作，以及和别人说话时你都会怎么表现。

You might want to practice in front of a mirror. Yeah, it might seem silly but no one is watching you. This will give you good feedback on how you look to other people and give you an opportunity to practise a bit before going out into the world。

也许你会想在镜子前面练习练习，似乎有点傻，但没人会知道的，怕啥呀。这种练习会给你反馈，告诉你你在别人眼中的印象，也算是让你进入现实世界之前，给自己一个练习的机会。

Another tip is to close your eyes and visualize² how you would stand and sit to feel confident, open and relaxed or whatever you want to communicate. See yourself move like that version of yourself. Then try it out。

还有一点，你可以闭上眼睛想象一下如何让自己的站姿和坐姿看起来更自信、大方以及放松，再想想你想交流的东西。用旁观者的眼光来评价自己，然后就大胆的表现出来吧。

You might also want observe friends, role models, movie stars or other people you think has good body language. Observe what they do and you don’t. Take bits and pieces you like from different people. Try using what you can learn from them。

你也可能会想借鉴朋友们，模特，电影明星或其他举止优雅的人们的行为习惯。看看他们有什么好的举止，你还缺哪些。从不同的人身上慢慢学，然后把学到的用在自己身上吧。

1. Don’t cross your arms or legs

不要交叉手臂或腿

You have probably already heard you shouldn’t cross your arms as it might make you seem defensive³ or guarded. This goes for your legs too. Keep your arms and legs open。

你应该听过不要交叉手臂，这样会让你看起来处于防备状态且具有攻击性。腿最好也不要交叉起来哦，让手臂和腿自然点吧。

2. Have eye contact, but don’t stare

眼神交流很必要，但别盯着别人看

If there are several people you are talking to, give them all some eye contact to create a better connection and see if they are listening. Keeping too much eye-contact might creep people out. Giving no eye-contact might make you seem insecure. If you are not used to keeping eye-contact it might feel a little hard or scary in the beginning but keep working on it and you’ll get used to it。

如果你同时和好几个人说话，不时地给他们一些眼神交流有助于交际，也能知晓他们是否在倾听。然而过多的眼神交流也许会把人吓跑哦。完全不给眼神交流会让别人觉得你这个人躲躲闪闪不可信。如果你觉得眼神交流很困难抑或会害怕，也要克服一下，不久你就会习惯啦。

3. Don’t be afraid to take up some space

多去占用一些空间

Taking up space by for example sitting or standing⁴ with your legs apart a bit signals self-confidence and that you are comfortable in your own skin。

比如两腿分开的坐着或站着能增添自信，还能透露你对自己的状态感到很舒服哦。

4. Relax your shoulders

放松肩膀

When you feel tense it’s easily winds up as tension in your shoulders. They might move up and forward a bit. Try to relax. Try to loosen up by shaking the shoulders a bit and move them back slightly。

感到紧张的时候总是不自觉地收紧肩膀，于是肩膀就会向上且向前倾。试着放松，摆动一下肩膀，把肩膀有意识的后倾点吧。

5. Nod when they are talking

倾听时别忘了点头

Nod once in a while to signal that you are listening. But don’t overdo⁵ it and peck like Woody Woodpecker。

时不时点头是你在倾听的信号。但千万别过头了，把自己变成成啄木鸟伍迪了哦。

6. Don’t slouch, sit up straight

别耷拉着，坐直了

But in a relaxed way, not in a too tense manner。

但也不用太拘谨哦，放松点就好了。

7. Lean, but not too much

斜靠着，别太过

If you want to show that you are interested in what someone is saying, lean toward the person talking. If you want to show that you’re confident in yourself and relaxed lean back a bit. But don’t lean in too much or you might seem needy⁶ and desperate for some approval. Or lean back too much or you might seem arrogant⁷ and distant。

如果你想表现对别人说的话感兴趣，就稍微向说话的那个人倾斜一点。如果你想表现的是自信，那就稍微往后仰一点吧。但也别太过头哦，太靠近会让你看起来急于得到别人的认可，往后仰的太过会让你有距离感。

8. Smile and laugh

微笑和大笑

Lighten up, don’t take yourself too seriously. Relax a bit, smile and laugh when someone says something funny. People will be a lot more inclined to listen to you if you seem to be a positive person. But don’t be the first to laugh at your own jokes, it makes you seem nervous and needy. Smile when you are introduced to someone but don’t keep a smile plastered on your face, you’ll seem insincere。

笑起来，别板着个脸啦。放松点，别人说好玩的事情的时候不妨微笑或大笑。如果你是个阳光的人，人们也会更乐意与你交流哦。但自己的笑话，千万别第一个笑，这样只会让你看起来又紧张又忐忑。当朋友把你介绍给新的人认识时，时可以脸上带微笑，但也别一直笑，否则会看起来不真诚。

9. Don’t touch your face

别摸脸

it might make you seem nervous and can be distracting for the listeners or the people in the conversation。

这会让你更紧张，还会分散交谈中听者的注意力。

10. Keep your head up

别低头

Don’t keep your eyes on the ground, it might make you seem insecure and a bit lost. Keep your head up straight and your eyes towards the horizon。

别一直看地上啦，会让你看起来不真诚外加分心哦。把头抬起来，眼神也专注点吧。

11. Slow down a bit

慢一点

This goes for many things. Walking slower not only makes you seem more calm and confident, it will also make you feel less stressed. If someone addresses you, don’t snap your neck in their direction, turn it a bit more slowly instead。

很多事都需要慢一点。走慢点，你不仅能更镇定和自信，还能让自己减少压力感。如果有人喊你，别立马伸着脖子去回应，慢慢的回头反而会更好哦。

12. Don’t fidget and try to avoid, phase out or transform fidgety movement and nervous ticks such as shaking your leg or tapping your fingers against the table rapidly。

别坐立不安，也别不断地换姿势，或是通过抖腿或不时用手指敲打桌子来传达自己的紧张。

You’ll seem nervous and fidgeting can be a distracting when you try to get something across. Declutter your movements if you are all over the place. Try to relax, slow down and focus your movements。

想克服什么困难，坐立不安只会让你分心和紧张。稳住自己，放松，慢下来，专心自己的行动吧。

13. Use your hands more confidently instead of fidgeting with your hands and scratching your face use them to communicate what you are trying to say。

在表达观点时，别再让手无处安放啦，自信点，也别总在聊天的时候玩手指或是挠脸哦。

Use your hands to describe something or to add weight to a point you are trying to make. But don’t use them to much or it might become distracting. And don’t let your hands flail⁸ around。

不妨用手比划比划来加深你的观点表达。但也别太过了，否则会分散别人的注意力。也别把手一直垂在那边。

14. Lower your drink。

水杯放低点

Don’t hold your drink in front of your chest. In fact, don’t hold anything in front of your heart as it will make you seem guarded and distant. Lower it and hold it beside your leg instead。

别总把水杯放在胸前。实际上别把任何东西放在胸前，这只会让你看起来十分防范外加有距离感。放低点，不如放在腿边吧。

15. Realise where you spine⁹ ends

挺直脊椎

Many people (including me until recently) might sit or stand with a straight back in a good posture¹⁰. However, they might think that the spine ends where the neck begins and therefore crane the neck forward in a Montgomery Burns-pose. Your spine ends in the back of your head. Keep you whole spine straight and aligned¹¹ for better posture。

很多人(包括我自己)也许都会一直把背挺直的站着坐着。也许有些人觉得脊椎末端是在脖子那，因此往往会往前伸脖子，但其实脊椎的末端是在后脑勺这边。所以挺直脊椎，让自己看起来更精神吧。

16. Don’t stand too close

别站的太近

One of the things we learned from Seinfeld is that everybody gets weirded out by a close-talker. Let people have their personal space, don’t invade it。

我们都知道对方谈话者如果站得太近是非常奇怪的一件事，尊重别人的空间，别侵犯。

17. Mirror

模仿

Often when you get along with a person, when the two of you get a good connection, you will start to mirror each other unconsciously. That means that you mirror the other person’s body language a bit. To make the connection better you can try a bit of proactive mirroring. If he leans forward, you might lean forward. If she holds her hands on her thighs¹², you might do the same. But don’t react instantly and don’t mirror every change in body language. Then weirdness¹³ will ensue。

往往你和别人开始接触，如果关系不错，你就会不自觉地开始模仿她，也就是或多或少效仿别人的肢体语言。如果关系再亲密点，你可以更主动点，人家向前倾，你也可以向前倾。如果她把手放在大腿上，那你也这样好了，只是别模仿的太频繁。

18. Keep a good attitude

态度好

Last but not least, keep a positive, open and relaxed attitude. How you feel will come through in your body language and can make a major difference。

最重要的是，态度要积极、大方和放松。你的感受会通过肢体语言传达出来，会产生很大的影响。

You can change your body language but as all new habits it takes a while. Especially things like keeping you head up might take time to correct if you have spent thousands of days looking at your feet。

你可以改变自己的肢体语言，但所有的新习惯都需要一段时间来适应。比如如果你一直都低着头走路，练习抬起头也许要一段时间的。