Dear Future Husband,

亲爱的未来老公：

I'm not yet sure whether you exist, though I'd like to believe that you do. While it may not make much logical sense, you've been on my mind lately. I haven't thought much about what you'll look like, how tall you'll be, or what type of car you'll drive — I'm not too concerned with the minor¹ details. However, I have been thinking about a few things I want you to know.

我尚不确定你是否存在，虽然我愿意相信你的存在。虽然有点不太符合逻辑，但你最近总出现在我脑海里。关于你的长相、你的身高或者你开什么车子我都没想太多，我不太关心这些无关紧要的细节，然而我一直在想有几件事你需要知道。

I want you to know that I am happy — right now — as a single, 26-year-old "millennial²" who lives in a small apartment with a roommate and eats Chipotle for dinner more times than I care to admit. I love my job, I love my crazy friends and family, and I love spending quality time alone. I want you to know that my life has purpose apart from and before you. When we do meet one day, I want you to understand that I do not expect you to complete me, or to be my God. That's way too much pressure for anyone to bear. I am already complete.

我想要你知道，现在单身的我很幸福，一个26岁的千禧一代，和室友一起住在一个小公寓里，晚餐吃墨西哥便餐的次数多得我自己都不愿意去想。我喜欢自己的工作，喜欢疯狂的朋友和家人，喜欢独处的宝贵时光。我想要你知道没有你的时候和遇到你之前我的生活都有目标。某天我们遇见了，我想让你明白我不需要你来使我变得更完美或主宰我的生活，那样我们的压力都太大，我的生活已经很完整了。

I want you to know that I am not a trophy³. Apparently⁴, a lot of guys think this is a compliment. However, I want you to know that I have no desire to be seen as a trophy — a symbol of your own perceived success. I was not raised just to sit and look pretty on anybody's shelf. I want to have intellectual conversations. I want to help you chase your dreams. I want to be your partner, not your prize.

我想要你知道我不是你的战利品。显然很多男孩都觉着这是恭维，但我想要你知道我不想被人当做战利品来象征你自己的成功。我的成长不是仅仅为了坐在别人的架子上成为漂亮的摆设。我想要有头脑的对话，想帮你追求梦想，想成为你的搭档，而不是你的奖品。

I want you to know that I am a feminist⁵, and I want you to be a feminist, too. This doesn't mean I am anti-men, and it doesn't mean I think myself superior to you. It merely means that as a woman, I believe that I should have the power and the choice to define what it means to be a female. Maybe I will continue to work a full-time⁶ job for the duration of our marriage. Maybe, one day, I'll decide to take on the onerous⁷ yet rewarding task of being a stay-at-home mom. Either way, I'll be "working." I am hopeful that you and I will be able to come up with a solution that works best for our relationship, and for our future family, free from societal expectations.

我想要你知道我主张男女平等，希望你也是。这不是说我对男人反感或感觉自己比你优越。我只想说，作为女人，我相信我应该有权力选择去定义一个女人的意义。可能结婚以后我还会继续全职工作，也可能有一天会决定选择繁重但却值得的全职太太的任务。无论选择哪一个，那都是我的工作。我满怀希望地认为你和我能找到最适合我们自己和未来家庭的方式，而不会为世俗所累。

I want you to know that while your opinions will be valuable to me, I will try my hardest not to exchange my personal identity for your stamp of approval. It has taken me over two decades to become comfortable in my own skin, and I don't ever want to compromise that. I hope that you will love me whether I decide to wear my hair long or short. I hope that you will think I am beautiful whether I choose to walk around with a fresh face or eyes adorned⁸ with mascara. If we choose to have children, I hope that you will appreciate my body post-pregnancy just as much as you did the day we met.

我想要你知道虽然你的想法对我来说很重要，但我还是会尽最大努力不用自己的身份来换取你的认可。我花了20多年才适应自己，我可不想做出让步。我希望无论我是决定留长发还是短发你都爱我；我希望无论我是选择素颜还是刷上睫毛膏出门你都觉着我很美。如果我们想要宝宝，我希望你会像刚遇见我时那样喜欢我怀孕后的身材。

I want you to know that I am not concerned with the size of my future engagement ring, and I will never pressure you to propose. Sure, I've thought about those things. I'm inundated⁹ daily with images of blushing brides and fairytale weddings. But at the end of the day, my goal is not to get married, but to stay married. If you promise to be my best friend for life, I promise not to get caught up in all the wedding madness.

我想要你知道我不在乎未来订婚戒指的大小，也决不会给你压力让你求婚。是的，那些我都曾幻想过，我每天都不停幻想红着脸的新娘和童话般的婚礼。但最终我的目标不是结婚，而是维持住婚姻。如果你答应作我一辈子最好的朋友，我就答应你不会陷入对婚礼的狂热追求。

Most importantly, I want you to know that when we do fall in love, I will love you unconditionally¹⁰. I don't expect you to be perfect, and I can guarantee you that I won't be either. I do, however, expect you to accept me fully for who I really am, and I promise to do the same for you. I will never try to change you, I will never let you feel unseen, and I will always be your number one fan.

最重要的一点就是，我想要你知道恋爱时我会无条件地爱你。我不期待你很完美，我敢保证我也不完美。然而我真地希望你能完全接受真正的我，我保证也如此对你。我永远不会努力去改变你，永远不会让你感觉被忽视，我永远都是你的头号粉丝。

Yours truly,

爱你，

Perfectly¹¹ Imperfect Me.

完美却又不完美的我。