Are you less than successful at online dating? Chances are you’re not a fundamentally broken person, destined¹ for a life of lonely misery². You’re probably just not very good at dating. This is good and bad news. On the one hand, it’s good to know that this is a skill you can learn. On the other hand, you also know you’ve got some work ahead of you. Let’s get right into it. 10 ways to be a better date.

你的网恋不成功？可能是你没从根本上突破，而注定孤独痛苦的生活。你可能只是不擅长约会。这是一个好消息也是一个坏消息。一方面，能知道这是你可以学习的技能，这非常好。另一方面，你也知道你有很多功课要做。让我们马上来看看。10种方法使你的约会更成功。

1) Be Interesting.

1）要风趣

If you date enough, you’ll meet all kinds of people. People who date well know how to talk to them. Learn about things that interest others, be it pop culture, history, science, travel. The things you learn will make you more interesting and fun to date. Remember, interesting people are interested. If you don’t know anything about something your date is into, have them TELL you all about it.

如果你约会了足够多的次数，你会遇到各种各样的人。擅长约会的人知道如何与他人交谈。了解别人感兴趣的东西，流行文化，历史，科学，旅游。你学习的东西会让你更风趣，和你约会也更有趣。请记住，风趣的人让人感兴趣。如果你不知道你约会的对象对什么感兴趣，让他们告诉你。

2) Be Thoughtful.

2）考虑周全。

If you’re on a first date, don’t assume that your date loves pit beef and whiskey. If you’re the one setting up the itinerary³, think of fun things to do that almost anyone would enjoy. As you get to know your date, you can start to specialize. At first, keep things general.

如果你是第一次约会，不要自以为你的约会对象喜欢牛肉和威士忌。如果你在一个设计行程，想想几乎任何人都会喜欢，觉得有趣的事情。当你了解你的约会对象，你就可以为她私人订制了。首先，要周全。

3) Don’t Be Needy⁴.

3）不要急促。

Even if you’re interested in a long term relationship, you don’t want to ooze⁵ neediness⁶ in the early stages of dating. Lots of people like casual dating. You don’t want to be giving off the “I want to grow old and die with you” vibe if the feeling is not necessarily reciprocated⁷.

即使你想要建立一个长期的关系，也不要在约会初期就表明你的需求，许多人喜欢随意的约会。如果不是那种需要别人投桃报李的的情形，你一定也不希望你的约会有一种“我要和你一起变老，和你同死”的氛围。

4) Don’t Be Aloof⁸.

4）不要冷漠。

Keeping it casual is well and good, but remaining emotionally distant is not. Even if you’re not ready to move in together, your date can tell if you’re not being emotionally accessible. If you’re not in a place to be somewhat open and honest, don’t date for awhile. Sure, there are plenty of ways to overdo⁹ this, but don’t date with a Poker¹⁰ Face either.

保持随意是不错，但感情不能疏远。即使是你还没有准备好搬到一起，你也可以告诉你的约会对象你思想上还没有准备好。如果你没有准备好公开和诚实，不要开始约会。当然，也有很多方法可以解决这个，但不要和冷漠的人约会。

5) Don’t Be a Jerk.

5）不要成为一个混蛋。

It’s important not to assume things about people you don’t know well. Try not to drone on about political views, religious assertions, or any other deeply held belief that might not be agreeable to someone you’re getting to know. Be honest. Don’t be pushy¹¹ or preachy.

不随便猜想你不熟悉的人是很重要的。尽量不要从政治观点，宗教断言，或其他任何根深蒂固的信念或别的可能和你准备认识的人的观点不一样的方面去评判她。要诚实。不要出风头或说教。

6) Be an Adult.

6）成熟一点。

You know what’s sexy? Not being a child in an adult’s body. Be employed. Pay your bills. Have a house that’s not replete¹² with filth¹³. You don’t have to have every single duck in a row, but don’t be a human wasteland either.

你知道什么是性感？不是在成人的身体里住着一颗孩子的心。有工作。有经济能力。有一个不是满屋狼籍的房子。你不必每件事都做得好，但不要是一个没用的人

7) Be Independent.

7）独立。

People who get instantly attached to someone they’re dating can come across as….scary. It’s important to find that sweet spot between Emotionally Distant and Someone Who Gloms.

人们能立马感知和自己约会的人的情绪，比如害怕。找到感情疏远和心中暗恋的甜蜜点是很重要的。

8) Have a Plan.

8）有一个计划。

It’s important to know how to handle various situations in a dating relationship. What if things go really well on a first date and you both obviously like each other a lot? What if the date is awkward and clearly going nowhere? There are gracious ways to handle every situation. By having a plan while still being able to improvise¹⁴, you can make situations far less awkward, or much more exciting.

知道如何处理在恋爱关系的各种情况是非常重要的。如果第一次约会非常成功，你们很明显很喜欢对方还怎么办？如果你的约会对象很尴尬，并明确无处可去该怎么办？有亲切的方式来处理这些情况。有一个计划即兴发挥，可以让情况远不尴尬，或更令人兴奋。

9) Ask Questions.

9）问问题。

Don’t know what to say? Get the other person talking. A great life skill to have is the ability to make other people comfortable. A comfortable person feels able to talk. If you can get someone chatting happily about things that interest them, you’re doing great, Tiger.

不知道该说些什么？让对方说话。让别人感到舒适是一个很棒的生活技能。舒适的人让人觉得谈得来。如果你可以让别人愉快地聊起他们感兴趣的事物，你做的很好。

10) Be Smooth.

10）圆滑一些。

When it comes to affection and sex, know what you’re doing. Don’t get too excited. Be sensual and gentle, without coming across like you don’t have a spine¹⁵. Reading the other person’s interest level and sense of pace is a skill worth having. Finding your groove¹⁶ in these moments can get you another date or ensure that you’ll never see this person again.

当涉及到情感与性，知道自己在做什么。不要高兴得太早。感性与温柔一些不要像你没有骨气一样。感知其他人感兴趣的程度和速度是值得拥有的技能。在这些时刻你的机会可以让你得到下一次约会或保证你将永远不会再想看到这个人。