How To Make Friends And Connect With People In Challenging Times

在逆境中如何与人交朋友并建立牢固的关系。

It can be difficult to make friends living in a big city, especially when you don’t know many people.

生活在一个大城市里是很难交到朋友的，尤其是当你还不认识很多人的时候。

Over years of experience and studying social skills, I discovered that it’s possible to make friends without even trying. There are just a few strategies that you have to use on a consistent basis.

根据多年的经验以及对社交技能的研究，我发现其实你甚至能毫不费力地交到朋友。这里有一些你一直可以用得上的策略。

That’s what I’ll outline a few simple steps.

在这里我将列出几个简单的步骤。

1. Be seen without trying to get attention.

不刻意地引人注意也能获得他人的注意。

You don’t have to say anything witty¹ or interesting to get people’s attention, all you have to do is place yourself in environments where people will see you.

你不必说诙谐或有趣的事情来吸引人们的注意，你所要做的只是将你自己置于人们能注意到的地方。

This can be done anywhere you go, such as the supermarket or your yoga studio.

这可以在你去的任何地方奏效，比如超市或是瑜伽馆。

2. Use the power of listening.

使用倾听的力量。

There’s an interesting phenomenon² that occurs when you listen to other people, they’ll keep talking. Just keep giving them good eye contact and show with your body language that you care.

有一个有趣的现象，当你听别人说话时，他们会一直说话。只要和他们保持良好的眼神接触，并用你的身体语言显示出你对他们的关心。

Listening is a mechanism³ to build trust and likeability.

倾听是一种建立信任和魅力的途径。

3. Think about what you can give to the other people.

想想你能给别人什么。

So often we think about what we can get out of others when we try to make friends, but that thinking needs to be flipped⁴ around.

当我们试图交朋友的时候，我们经常会考虑我们能从别人那里得到什么，但是我们需要扭转这种想法。

Try offering a piece of helpful advice or invite someone you just met to grab coffee or lunch with you the following week.

试着提供一个有用的建议或邀请你刚才遇到的人来喝杯咖啡或者邀请他在接下来的一周和你一起共进午餐。

4. Always have 3 good stories to tell other people.

总是有3个好故事来告诉别人。

When you have at least a few stories to share with others, you’ll never run out of things to talk about.

当你至少有几个故事与他人分享时，你将永远有谈不尽的话题。

5. Smile like there’s no tomorrow.

尽情微笑。

It may not be natural for some of us to smile, but a smile is one of the most attractive things that someone can display when they’re meeting new people.

对有些人来说，微笑可能是件不自然的事情，但是微笑是最有吸引力的事情之一。当结识新人时，人们可以传递他们的微笑。

Think about these 5 strategies as tools. They’re always available if you want to connect with people instantly and develop true lasting⁵ friendships.

我们可以把这5种策略作为工具。如果你想与人立即建立关系，并且发展成真正长久的友谊，它们总是有用的。