It’s almost New Year’s Eve and for better or for worse, you’re attending Wednesday night’s countdown party solo. You’re single. Again. You’ve cried about it, whined¹ about it, and resigned yourself to it, but now you’re ready to become the person that other people would want to be with.

基本上是新年前夜，无论是想变得更好还是更糟，你打算参加周三晚上的单身倒计时晚会。你是孤单的，再一次。你因此而哭泣，还是顺其自然吧，但是现在你准备好成为另一个人想成为的人。

Here are 8 resolutions to make if you want to turn things around next year:

明年如果你想会转事情，这里有需要下的8条新年决心。

1. “I will meet more people”

1“我要遇见更多的人”

Unless you marry the McDelivery guy, Prince Charming isn’t going to appear on your doorstep. Well, maybe he would if you threw a gigantic dinner party at home with a lot of singles in attendance, but either way, dating is a numbers game, so go meet some new guys. (You too, introverts².) You need to do whatever it takes, even if it means attending a spin class or joining nature walks from Meetup.com. On that topic…

如果你想嫁给马岱立夫小伙，迷人的王子不会主动出现在你的门前。或许他会出现如果你布置了一桌丰盛的晚宴在有许多单身人士的家，但还有一种方式，约会是一个查数的游戏，因此去见一些新的家伙。（你们，性格内向的人）无论花费什么，你们都要去做，即使是一次短途旅行或在大自然中的散步。话题是...

2. “I will try unconventional means of dating”

2 “我会尝试不正规的约会方式”

We’re talking online dating, speed-dating, Tinder, or straight-up hiring a professional matchmaker. Look, there’s no shame in meeting someone through an algorithm. In the grand scheme of things, how you met constitutes about 1 per cent of an entire relationship. Who cares whether you met your dream guy through a dating coach, rather than on a cross-country tour through Europe? Happily ever after isn’t defined by how a romance begins, but how it ends.

我们在谈论在线约会，速度约会，引火物，或直接雇佣一个专业的符合的人。看通过算计碰见某人没什么羞耻的。事情在很大程度上，你们怎样遇见组成了1%的整个的关系。谁会关心是否你遇见你梦想的家伙通过一次约会训练而不是跨越国家的通往欧洲的旅行？幸福不会被浪漫怎样开始定义，而是以怎样结束。

3. “I will let my friends intervene for me”

3 “我会让我的朋友干涉我”

If you’re still not convinced, then seek help from your most immediate³ resource: your friends. It’s not easy to admit you need help when you’re so proud of being independent. But these people not only know what you want, but they know your history and who will be good for you. They’ve all got brothers, cousins, colleagues, and old friends who are in the same boat. So let down your defences and accept the possibility that they’re not just being meddlesome⁴ and “kpo”, they actually do want to see you happy.

如果你仍不自信，然后从最直接的资源寻求帮助：你的朋友们。承认你需要帮助不太容易当你骄傲于独立的时候。但是这些人不仅知道你想要什么，而且知道你的历史，谁会适合你。他们都有处于同样境地的兄弟，侄子，同事，和老朋友。因此放下你的防备，接受他们不是爱管闲事的人的可能性，他们实际上是想让你高兴。

4. “I will be open”

4“我会变得开放”

One of the easiest ways to stay single is to enforce shallow dealbreakers. Obviously, you should uphold some standards – like, don’t date a drug dealer⁵ – but ladies, would you be open to dating someone who is three years younger than you? How about someone whose idea of classical music is a Kenny G cover band? Or how about someone whose sense of style is stuck in the ‘90s? None of these traits are attractive, but they’re all superficial. If he’s a good person – loyal, happy, unselfish, willing to change – then know that he’s a diamond amidst a host of “cool” guys with mediocre⁶ hearts. It’s a lot easier for someone to change his wardrobe than it is for him to change his character.

最简单的保持单身的方式之一是保持浅显的规则。很明显，你应该拥有一些标准-例如，不和吸毒者约会-但女士，你和小你三岁的人约会持开放态度么？如果有人认为古典音乐即是Kenny G cover乐队会怎么样？或者有人的择偶标准仅仅是90后？这些特点都不吸引人，但他们都是表面意义的。如果他是一个好人——忠诚，幸福，无私，想要改变-然后知道他是冷家伙中拥有一颗平常心的钻石。对于某人来说改变性格比改变衣橱更简单。

5. “I will stop procrastinating⁷”

5“我会停止拖延”

There will always be a reason for you to avoid love. You want to change jobs before getting into a relationship. You want to settle your finances before getting serious. You want to lose a few kilograms before seeing what’s out there. At the risk of sounding cliché, life is a journey. You can feel like you’re in a good place without having things 100 per cent settled. Maybe it’s time to start trusting that the person you meet will love you anyway.

总会有原因使你停止爱。你想换工作在进入一段关系前。你想解决账单在认真之前。你想减肥在看出那里发生了什么之前。冒着听起来像是陈词滥调的风险，生活是一场旅行。你能感到你状态很好事情百分百没有被解决。或许该是时候相信你遇见的人会以任何一种方式爱你。

6. “I will stop judging people who settled down before I did”

6“我会停止判断人在我坐下来之前”

“One day, she’s going to regret getting married so young.”

“Who marries their secondary school boyfriend??”

“I would never want to be that co-dependent.”

“I can’t believe she lets him carry her bag.”

“Did you know that she cooks her boyfriend dinner every weekend? I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with that.”

“有一天，她会后悔结婚这么早”

“谁嫁给了她们初中时代的男友？”

“我不想再依赖了。”

“我不能相信她让他拿包。”

“你知道吗她给她的男友每周末做饭？我很高兴我不用。”

These statements might be 100 per cent legitimate⁹, but being so harsh toward other couples makes it difficult for people to get close to you.

这些话可能百分之百的合法，但是对其他人这么刻薄很难使人接近你。

7. “I will be secure”

7“我有安全感”

You’re not missing out by being single. You’re not behind in life just because you’re unmarried and childless. You’ll meet your person, it just hasn’t happened for you yet. And that’s fine. Yes, you go on dates and meet new people, but whether you’re spending Friday night on the town or home alone with a bucket of popcorn¹⁰, you’re secure knowing that singleness isn’t a necessary evil , it is your life, and one day, you will be able to share everything you learned from this season with another person.

你是单身的但是并没有被漏掉。生活中你没有被拉下，因为你未婚孩子气。你会遇到你的伴侣只是还未发生。那很好。是的，你继续约会遇见新人，但是是否你花费周五的晚上在小镇上或独自在家里嚼着爆米花，你是安全的了解单身并不是一种罪恶，它是你的生活，有一天，你能够和另一个人分享这个季节你学到的东西。

8. “I will never stop hoping”

8“我永不停止希望”

After a certain point (say, a certain age), it’s easy to get jaded¹¹ and conclude that love just ain’t for you. You’re better off alone, relationships are more trouble than they’re worth, and anyway, who needs someone else? You’re completely self-sufficient. You can carry your own groceries, buy your own house, and find your own happiness without seeking validation¹² from someone else. And anyway, isn’t love just our brain’s reaction to a flood of dopamine?

在某一个确定点之后（确定的年龄），很容易总结爱不属于你。你最好单身，关系更加复杂，不管怎样，谁需要另一个人呢？你完全的自给自足。你能那你自己的货物，给你自己买房子，寻找你自己的幸福无需他人的认可。无论如何，爱只是你的大脑对多巴胺的反应么？