"I Wish She'd Appreciate Me A little More"

"我希望她能更理解我"

The expert says: Whether you work in an office, run a household, or some combination of the two, you're both likely frustrated¹ with your heaping plates of responsibility. And although it's a natural reaction, piling on more the second your partner steps through the door is not the best way to get him to hear or help you. "Instead of leading with a list, understand that he may need a few minutes to unwind," says Kara Thompson, a licensed² family and marriage therapist in Lenexa, KS. You'll both listen better when you've decompressed and can actually focus on the issues at hand.

专家认为：不管你是上班族还是家庭主妇，亦或是两者兼有，很有可能你会因自己肩负的许多责任而感到沮丧。虽然这是自然反应，但在另一半刚进门后就开始絮絮叨叨并不是让他们倾听或帮助你的最好方法。"与其说一长串自己的烦恼，倒不如为他们着想，也许他们也需要几分钟放松一下，"肯萨斯州莱内克萨的注册家庭婚姻治疗师卡拉·汤普森说道。在压力有所缓解并能真正专注手头问题的时候，你们才能更好的倾听。

"I Wish She'd Plan Date Night Once In A While"

"我希望她能偶尔计划一次约会之夜"

The expert says: Good news: If you both feel like you need more one-on-one time, you're already on the same page, which means you're well on your way. The next step is to stop keeping a mental score sheet of who made plans the last time and put it on both of you to jump at the opportunity to, say, see a band you like when they perform nearby or try a new restaurant with an innovative³ menu. In the end, it matters way less who dealt with the logistics than the fact that you bonded⁴ and enjoyed your time together.

专家认为：这是好消息：如果你们都觉得需要更多单独相处的时间，那你们已经意见一致了，也就是说你们志趣相投。下一步就是不要再在脑海中思考上一次是谁做了计划，你们两个都应该抓住机会，比如你最喜欢的乐队在附近演出时，你们可以一起去看；或者你们可以去尝试一家菜单标新立异的新餐馆。最后，关键就在于事实上你们的感情更进一步、一起度过的时光也很美好，而不是在于谁进行了精心计划。

"I Miss Having More Lighthearted Conversation"

"我怀念那些谈话更为轻松的时光"

The expert says: There's no question that having an open dialogue about your children is important, but we understand that it can get tedious after a while. Once the kids go to bed or while they're out at weekend activities, make an effort to chat about lighthearted topics, like more serious news or political issues to keep you connected and stimulated⁵ as a couple.

专家认为：开放的谈论孩子更为重要并没有问题，但我们也明白一段时间之后这种对话就会变得乏味。当孩子们上床睡觉或周末外出参加活动时，你们应该多谈些轻松的话题，比如更为正经的新闻或政治问题，这样能让你们更心有灵犀、也更有激情。

"We Aren't Romantic Anymore"

"我们再也不那么浪漫了"

The expert says: Relationships change and evolve, and sometimes the very qualities that attracted you to your husband are the ones that wind up making you nuts. It could be that you're simply too stressed with the day-to-day to experience romance the same way-and that's okay. The key is to come to a collective understanding of what sweet gestures now do it for you. A change of environment may do it-consider taking a break from the grind and going away for a long weekend.

专家认为：恋情会发生变化，也会升华，有时候你吸引你丈夫的那些品质正是到最后会让你感到抓狂的东西。也许日常生活的压力太大，你们再也无法体会到同样的浪漫--但没关系。关键就是达成共识：什么样的甜蜜举动会让你感到浪漫。也许换个环境就行了--可以考虑休假，一起外出度长假。