You can't build a strong professional network if you don't open up to your colleagues; but doing so is tricky¹, because revealing the wrong things can have a devastating² effect on your career.

如果你不和同事坦诚相待，就不可能有稳固的职业关系网。但是这个分寸其实并不好把握，因为表露不当的话会对你的职业造成严重后果。

Sharing the right aspects of yourself in the right ways is an art form. Disclosures that feel like relationship builders in the moment can wind up as obvious no-nos with hindsight.

该让别人看到自己哪些方面？怎么分享这类才是正确的方式？这堪称一门艺术。有些事情在当时说出来可能觉得有助于增进同事友谊，然而事后来看可能是显而易见的禁忌。

The trick is to catch yourself before you cross that line, because once you share something, there is no going back.

秘诀就是在你“过界”之前管好嘴巴，因为“说出去的话泼出去的水”，一旦说出就再也收不回了。

TalentSmart has tested more than a million people and found that the upper echelons³ of top performance are filled with people who are high in emotional intelligence (90% of top performers, to be exact). Emotionally intelligent people are adept⁴ at reading others, and this shows them what they should and shouldn't reveal about themselves at work.

TalentSmart已经对一百万人进行了测试，结果发现表现优秀的上流人士都是高情商的人（确切地说是90%的表现优秀者情商很高）。高情商者很善于察言观色，因此他们知道在工作时该说什么，不该说什么。

The following list contains the 12 most common things people reveal that send their careers careening in the wrong direction.

下面这12件事说出去以后，可能会断送你的职业生涯。

1.That They Hate Their Job

1.讨厌自己的工作

The last thing anyone wants to hear at work is someone complaining about how much they hate their job. Doing so labels you as a negative person, who is not a team player. This brings down the morale⁵ of the group.

人们最不想听到的就是工作时有人在抱怨自己有多讨厌自己的工作。这么做你会被贴上“消极者”的标签，也就是说你不适合团队合作。这会降低整个团队士气。

Bosses are quick to catch on to naysayers who drag down morale, and they know that there are always enthusiastic⁶ replacements⁷ waiting just around the corner.

老板会迅速找出影响团队士气的“唱反调者”，因为老板深知很快就会有热情乐观的候选人顶替前者的工作。

2.That They Think Someone Is Incompetent⁸

2.认为别人不称职

There will always be incompetent people in any workplace, and chances are that everyone knows who they are. If you don't have the power to help them improve or to fire them, then you have nothing to gain by broadcasting their ineptitude⁹.

任何职场都会有能力欠佳的人，其实大家也都心知肚明。如果你不能帮他们提高能力，也没有权力解雇他们，那么你到处宣扬他们的无能和笨拙对自己也没好处。

Announcing your colleague's incompetence¹⁰ comes across as an insecure attempt to make you look better. Your callousness¹¹ will inevitably¹² come back to haunt you in the form of your coworkers' negative opinions of you.

说同事无能反而会让别人以为你不自信，试图通过贬低别人凸显自己。你的冷漠无情会报应到自己头上，同事们同样会把你说得一无是处。

3.How Much Money They Make

3.谈论自己的薪水

Your parents may love to hear all about how much you're pulling in each month, but in the workplace, this only breeds negativity. It's impossible to allocate¹³ salaries with perfect fairness, and revealing yours gives your coworkers a direct measure of comparison.

或许你的父母乐意听你谈论月薪，但是在职场，谈论薪水只会引起周围人的负面情绪。完全公平的分配薪资是绝对不可能的，但自曝薪水会让你同事拿你的薪水和自己的做比较。

As soon as everyone knows how much you make, everything you do at work is considered against your income. It's tempting¹⁴ to swap¹⁵ salary figures with a buddy¹⁶ out of curiosity, but the moment you do, you'll never see each other the same way again.

一旦别人知道你的薪酬，那么他们就会觉得你不配拿那么多薪水。同事之间出于好奇而相互探问薪水，但获知彼此底细后，你们之间的关系就再也回不到从前了。

4.Their Political and Religious Beliefs

4.谈论政治和宗教信仰

People's political and religious beliefs are too closely tied to their identities to be discussed without incident at work. Disagreeing with someone else's views can quickly alter their otherwise strong perception of you. Confronting someone's core values is one of the most insulting things you can do.

人们的政治和宗教信仰与他们的身份联系紧密，所以不可能在工作时讨论这方面话题还相安无事。和某人观点有分歧能迅速改变他人对你的看法。冒犯他人的核心价值观是最不礼貌的行为之一。

Granted, different people treat politics and religion differently, but asserting your values can alienate¹⁷ some people as quickly as it intrigues¹⁸ others. Even bringing up a hot-button world event without asserting a strong opinion can lead to conflict.

的确，对待政治和宗教的态度因人而异。你激起他人兴趣的速度有多快，维护自己的价值观时别人疏远你的速度就有多快。即使你不坚持自己的观点，单单提及世界敏感事件就足以引起冲突了。

People build their lives around their ideals and beliefs, and giving them your two cents is risky¹⁹. Be willing to listen to others without inputting²⁰ anything on your end because all it takes is a disapproving²¹ look to start a conflict.

人们按照自己的理想和信仰来生活，因此在这类问题上发表自己的看法是冒险之举。只要一个不同意的表情就能引起冲突，所以学会乐于倾听他人而不把自己的想法强加于人吧！

Political opinions and religious beliefs are so deeply ingrained in people, that challenging their views is more likely to get you judged than to change their mind.

政治观点和宗教信仰在人们心中根深蒂固，挑战他们的信念十之八九并不会改变他人的观点，反而会让别人对你有不好的印象。

5.What They Do on Facebook

5.在脸书上公布你做过的事

The last thing your boss wants to see when she logs on to her Facebook account is photos of you taking tequila shots in Tijuana. There are just too many ways you can look inappropriate on Facebook and leave a bad impression. It could be what you're wearing, who you're with, what you're doing, or even your friends' commentary.

你老板登录脸书时，最不愿意看到的就是你发了一张在提华纳喝龙舌兰酒的照片。在脸书上让自己表现失态并且给他人留下不好印象的方法数不胜数。或许是你的着装，和你在一起的人，你正在做的事，甚至是你朋友的评论。

These are the little things that can cast a shadow of doubt in your boss's or colleagues' minds just when they are about to hand you a big assignment or recommend you for a promotion²².

你老板或同事正要给你委派重要工作或推荐你升职时，这些小细节都能让他们产生疑虑。

It's too difficult to try to censure²³ yourself on Facebook for your colleagues. Save yourself the trouble, and don't friend them there. Let LinkedIn be your professional “social” network, and save Facebook for everybody else.

为了照顾同事的想法而在脸书上管理好自己绝非易事。想要避免这些麻烦，那就不要加同事为脸书好友。就在“领英”发展你的职业关系吧！把脸书这片天地留给其他朋友。

6.What They Do in the Bedroom

6.你在卧室的所作所为

Whether your sex life is out of this world or lacking entirely²⁴, this information has no place at work. Such comments might get a chuckle²⁵ from some people, but it makes most uncomfortable, and even offended. Crossing this line will instantly give you a bad reputation.

不管你是在享受美妙的夫妻生活，还是完全没有，这种话题都非常不适合在职场上谈论。谈论这方面话题或许会逗乐一部分人，但是大多数人还是会对此感到尴尬，甚至反感。跨过这条“界限”会迅速地给你留下坏名声。

7.What They Think Someone Else Does in the Bedroom

7.你对别人卧室生活的猜想

A good 111% of the people you work with do not want to know that you bet they're tigers in the sack. There's no more surefire way to creep someone out than to let them know that thoughts of their love life have entered your brain.

和你共事的人，111%的人都不想知道你对他们的夫妻生活有看法。吓跑别人的最好方法，莫过于你让他们知道你在猜想他们的夫妻生活。

Anything from speculating on a colleague's sexual orientation²⁶ to making a relatively²⁷ indirect comment like, "Oh, to be a newlywed again," plants a permanent seed in the brains of all who hear it that casts you in a negative light.

从猜想同事的性取向到“又要当新郎（新娘）啦”这类相对委婉的调侃，都会在听到这些话的所有人心中播下一颗永远以负面眼光看待你的种子。

Your thoughts are your own. Think whatever you feel is right about people; just keep it to yourself.

你的想法是你自己的。不管你对别人有什么看法，自己知道就得了。

8.That They're After Somebody Else's Job

8.你想得到别人的工作

Announcing your ambitions at work when they are in direct conflict with other people's interests comes across as selfish and indifferent to those you work with and the company as a whole. Great employees want the whole team to succeed, not just themselves.

在工作中表明自己的野心，尤其当你的野心和其他人的利益形成直接冲突时，会让你的同事和公司认为你很自私，对他人漠不关心。优秀的员工希望整个团队取得成功，而不只是他们自己。

Regardless of your actual motives²⁸ (some of us really do just work for the money), announcing your selfish goal will not help you get there.

不管你的实际动机是什么（其中一些人确实只是为了钱），宣布你自私的目标将无助于实现它。

9.How Wild They Used To Be in College

9.你上大学的时候有多么放纵

Your past can say a lot about you. Just because you did something outlandish or stupid 20 years ago doesn't mean that people will believe you've developed impeccable judgment²⁹ since then.

你的过去可以反映出你的很多方面。哪怕说你那些荒唐和愚蠢的行为是20年前的事情了，可这不意味着大家会相信你经过这么长时间就一定具备了完美的判断能力。

Some behavior that might qualify as just another day in the typical fraternity (binge drinking, minor³⁰ theft, drunk driving, abusing people or farm animals, and so on) shows everyone you work with that, when push comes to shove, you have poor judgment and don't know where to draw the line.

有些行为，听上去不过是当初在大学联谊会里的正常事情（狂饮、小偷小摸、酒后驾车、虐待人或者家畜等等），但这会让与你共事的人认为，你这个人在紧要关头缺乏判断力，并且不懂适可而止。

Many presidents have been elected in spite of their past indiscretions, but unless you have a team of handlers and PR types protecting and spinning your image, you should keep your unsavory past to yourself.

很多总统并未因其过去的不慎言行而落选，但除非你拥有一整个团队的经理和公关顾问来保护和美化你的形象，你应该让自己不光彩的陈年旧事烂在肚子里。

10.How Intoxicated³¹ They Like to Get

10.你喝醉成什么样

You might think talking about how inebriated³² you were over the weekend has no effect on how you're viewed at work. After all, if you're a good worker, then you're a good worker, right? Unfortunately not.

你或许认为，谈谈自己周末醉酒的情况并不会对同事如何评价你产生影响。毕竟这改变不了你是一名优秀员工的事实，对不对？可惜非也。

Sharing this will not get people to think you're fun. Instead, they will see you as unpredictable, immature³³, and lacking in good judgment. Too many people have negative views of drugs and alcohol for you to reveal how much you love to indulge in them.

讨论这个并不会让同事认为你这个人有趣。相反，他们会认为你难以捉摸、不成熟并缺乏良好的判断力。太多人对毒品和酒精都没什么好看法，所以你还是不要暴露自己多么喜欢沉醉其中了。

11.An Offensive Joke

11.无礼的笑话

If there's one thing we can learn from celebrities³⁴, it's to be careful about what you say and whom you say it to.

如果我们可以从名人身上学到一件事，那么它一定是留心自己说出的话和交谈对象。

Offensive jokes make other people feel terrible, and they make you look terrible. They also happen to be much less funny than clever jokes.

无礼的笑话会让其他人感到尴尬，而这类调侃会让你这人看起来糟糕透顶。而且用这类低级笑话来活跃气氛的效果也远远比不上那种有分寸的幽默。

12.That They Are Job Hunting

12.你在找工作

When I was a kid, I told my baseball coach I was quitting in two weeks. For the next two weeks, I found myself riding the bench. It got even worse after those two weeks when I decided³⁵ to stay, and I became "the kid who doesn't even want to be here." I was crushed, but it was my own fault; I told him my decision before it was certain.

当年我还是个小孩子的时候，我对棒球队的教练说自己打算在两周内退队。结果在接下来的两周里我发现自己只能坐冷板凳。两周之后，当我改主意决定留下来的时候，情况变得更加糟糕，我变成了“那个甚至不想再来这里的孩子”。我痛苦万分，但这是我自己的错；是因为在我没有拿定主意之前，就把自己的决定告诉了教练。

The same thing happens when you tell people that you're job hunting. Once you reveal that you're planning to leave, you suddenly become a waste of everyone's time. There's also the chance that your hunt will be unsuccessful, so it's best to wait until you've found a job before you tell anyone. Otherwise, you will end up riding the bench.

当你告诉别人你在找工作的时候，同样的事情就会发生。一旦你表明，你正计划离职的时候，你突然间就变成了在浪费大家的时间。你在求职中有可能会遭遇失败，所以最好是你已经拿到工作邀请函之后再去告诉别人。否则，你最后又得坐冷板凳。