First of all, please think about this question first: Do you have any of these 3 habits?

首先，请你想一想，你有没有这3个习惯：

1. You tend to motivate yourself in negative ways.

第一，你习惯用负面的方式来激励自己

You may not be a person who already gave up yourself.

你可能并不是一个自暴自弃的人。

You always wanna be someone better.

你总是希望变得更好。

It’s just that when you encourage yourself you usually prefer sentence like “Can’t you even do this?”

只是，你往往会用“难道连这都做不好吗？”这样的话来给自己打气。

Basically you wish to make yourself work harder by making yourself loathe¹ your present self.

从根本上讲，你是希望让自己讨厌现在的自己，从而去努力。

2. It’s really hard for you to let go of your mistakes.

第二，你很难原谅自己的错误。

You always keep thinking about the mistakes you’ve made and feeling terrible every time you do this.

你总是会反复咀嚼自己以前犯过的错，而且每次回想起来都会很难受。

Every inopportune speech you’ve given.

每次不合时宜的发言。

Every temper you didn’t manage to control.

每次没能控制住的脾气。

And every silly thing that you have done.

还有你以前做过的所有傻事。

You always can’t help but recall them. And every time you recall them you feel the exact pain you felt back then.

你总是忍不住去回忆他们，而每次回忆的时候，你都和当初一样痛苦难耐。

3. You don’t feel comfortable when someone compliments you.

第三，别人表扬你的时候，你会觉得不舒服

You always feel awkward for the credits people give you. Or you usually think they overestimated² you.

你总是对别人赠与的表扬感到尴尬，或者觉得他们有点言过其实。

Sometimes you don’t really think yourself as not good enough.

有时候，你并不是觉得自己做得不够好。

You know you’ve done the right thing.

你知道自己做了对的事。

You know you deserve recognition.

你知道自己值得被认可。

But somehow you still want to find a hole to hide yourself when someone comes and speaks highly of you.

但是，不知道为什么，当真的有人来赞赏你的时候，你却想找个洞把自己藏起来。

If you have any one of the 3 traits above, then you should be careful because there might be a dangerous emotion hiding in your heart.

如果你具备以上三点中的任何一点，那你要小心了，你的心里很有可能藏着一种危险的情感。

It’s self-loathing³.

那就是自我厌恶。

A lot of people see this emotion as a motivation to keep making themselves improving.

很多人以为这种情感是一种动力，可以让人不断完善自己。

But in fact it only stops you from developing.

但其实，这种情感只会阻碍你的自我发展。

It makes you incapable⁴ of feeling satisfaction and the sense of accomplishment⁵. And it eventually deprives you of your self-esteem.

它会让你无法体会满足感和成就感，并最终剥夺你的自尊。

Sometimes you have to understand the phrases “good enough” and “for now”.

有时候，你得学会理解什么叫“足够好”和“暂且”。

It’s not easy to face failures with ease. And I never saw anyone who manages it perfectly⁶.

想要学会从容面对失败并不是一件容易的事，我也没见过谁能完美地掌握这个能力。

But being afraid of failing is not a reason for giving up.

但害怕失败并不是放弃尝试的理由。

Self-loathing is the root of unhappiness.

自我厌恶，是不幸福的根源。

You can loathe who you were. But please don’t loathe who you are that much.

你可以厌恶曾经的自己，但请不要太厌恶现在的自己。

If you really need a motivation, choose hope instead of loathing.

如果你真的需要一个动力，那它应该是希望，而不是厌恶。