Parenting can be hard. Between sleep deprivation¹, temper tantrums, and strong-willed personalities², it's not always easy to know what to do. Our partners in this parenting journey deserve to be treated with respect and trust, even through fits of anger. There are a few things that under no uncertain circumstances should you say to your coparent, even if you really, REALLY want to. Your relationship, and your kids, will be better off if you avoid these harsh³ phrases altogether.

生儿育女或许是项辛苦的工作。你们都会缺觉、脾气暴躁、不妥协，所以很难知道该怎么做。在育儿过程中，我们的另一半值得我们尊重和信任，尽管有时他们真的很气人。但无论何种情况，你都不该对另一半说这些话，即使你真的真的很想说。如果你能控制自己不说这些伤感情的句子，那么你的感情生活会更好、孩子也会照顾得越来越好。

"I told you so."

"我早就跟你说过了。"

Even though it feels so good when your partner recognizes that you were, in fact, right all along, rubbing it in their face doesn't help matters. This is especially true when it comes to parenting struggles, because being a parent is hard enough without having to feel worse about mistakes that were made.

尽管，当另一半承认你事实上一直都是对的会让你感觉爽翻了，但当着他/她的面虐他/她却于事无补。尤其是在育儿问题上更是如此，因为成为父母这件事本身就很困难了，更别提自己犯下错误后的感受了。

"That's not what the book says to do."

"书上不是这么说的。"

Sure, you've read all the books, consulted all the blogs, and spent your waking life developing an action plan; that doesn't mean that your partner needs to follow everything that you've read. A good relationship is about trust, and in the heat of the moment, it's best to trust that your partner wants what is best for your little one too.

当然，你看了所有的书，咨询了所有的博客，醒着的时候一直都在制定行动计划，但这并不意味着你的另一半需要按照你阅读的内容行事。好的感情是信任的，盛怒之下，最好还是相信你的另一半，毕竟他/她也想要给宝宝最好的。

"Well, they don't act like that for me."

"额，宝宝这样做可不是因为我。"

Every kid reacts differently to different people, and this can especially be true with parents. Just because your tyke is a perfect baby with you doesn't mean that your fellow parent is doing something wrong. Cut them some slack⁴ and try to help rather than use a braggadocious phrase.

每个孩子都会对不同的人做不同的动作，尤其是面对父母的时候。你的宝宝和你在一起的时候很乖并不意味着你的另一半做错了事。饶了他/她吧，尽可能的帮他/她，而不是说一些夸张的话。

"Have you tried ______ to get them to sleep?"

"你有没有试过这种方法哄宝宝入睡？"

When it's the middle of the night and the baby is screaming, the last thing you want to hear is a list of solutions that have already been tried and failed. Again, trust that your partner knows all the tricks and has tried all the magical ways to get that baby to sleep.

深夜宝宝尖叫的时候，你最不想听到的就是一系列哄宝宝睡觉的方法，因为你已经试过这些方法并且失败了。再说一次，相信你的另一半，相信她/他知道所有的方法，相信他/她尝试了各种神奇的方法哄宝宝睡觉。

"You weren't watching them closely enough."

"你没有照看好他/她。"

Accidents happen, even to the most attentive⁵ parents. Instead of using blame phrases, try instead to talk with your partner later about expectations and procedures. Accusing them is only going to make them nervous and closed off.

意外总是会发生，即使父母特别细心也还是会发生。不要责怪另一半了，试着和他/她谈谈你的预期和过程。指责只会让他们变得紧张、封闭。