Our culture has changed immensely as a result of the smartphone. We can get reassurance¹ for every doubt just by texting our friends. We can feel approval by getting "likes" on our Instagram post or Facebook status.

随着智能手机的普及，社交文化发生了很大的变化。遇到问题，我们可以随时发消息求助朋友。我们在Instagram（照片墙）或Facebook（脸书）等社交平台上发状态，一旦有人点“赞”，就感觉自己得到了认可。

But heavy reliance on devices is responsible for a shift in how we regulate our emotions. A by-product² of this instant communication is a diminished ability to sit with uncertainty³.

但是，由于依赖手机，我们调节情绪的方式改变了。这类即时通讯的副作用便是，我们越来越无法接受不确定性。

Intolerance to uncertainty has been shown to underlie⁴ a range of psychological difficulties.

难以忍受不确定性构成了一系列心理障碍的基础。

Psychologists could consider a person's over-reliance on their phones as a "safety seeking behaviour" which reduces anxiety in the moment.

心理学家有理由认为，过度依赖手机其实是一个人“寻找安全感的行为”，可以暂时减轻焦虑。

But over time, safety behaviours actually feed anxiety because they prevent people from realising their fear has no basis once the situation has actually unfolded, or that it is something they're able to cope with.

不过久而久之，这种行为反而会增加焦虑，因为随着实际情况变化，人们意识不到自己根本没理由害怕，或者意识不到他们其实有能力解决问题。

We need to retrain ourselves to stand up to such clear manipulation of their FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and fear of rejection⁵. Learning to face uncertainty is essential to managing our mental health.

我们需要重新训练自己，摆脱“错失恐惧症”（总害怕错过什么），不再害怕被拒。学会面对不确定性，对于管理我们的心理健康至关重要。

Being more comfortable with uncertainty improves a person's ability to cope with worry and is closely associated with improvement for those experiencing anxiety.

自在从容地面对不确定性，可以提高一个人解决烦恼的能力，正在经历焦虑的人们想缓解焦虑感，也离不开这一点。

When treating anxiety, psychologists encourage clients to sit with not knowing the outcome of a particular situation and learning to wait to see if what they are afraid of will eventuate.

心理学家在治疗焦虑症患者时，会鼓励病人不去知道一件具体事情的结果，让他们学会等待，看看自己害怕的事情会不会真的发生。

By sitting with uncertainty, a person gradually learns to distract themselves, let go of trying to control situations and realises they can survive the distress⁶ of "not knowing" in the situation.

通过接受不确定性，你会渐渐学会让自己分心，不再试图掌控事情，认识到虽然自己不了解情况会很难受，但总归能挺过去。

Mostly after waiting it out, the feared outcome will not eventuate, or it will be tolerable.

大多情况下，等待过后，害怕的结果不会出现，或者出现了也还能忍受。

Using phones to push the worry onto another person prevents self-management from occurring.

通过手机把自己的烦恼转嫁到朋友身上，只会妨碍自我管理。

Often, we don't realise that after a little while (and sometimes a lot of distraction), the unpleasant feeling will go away.

我们常常忽略了一件事，那就是再过一会儿（有时候遇到很多让你分心的事情），不爽的感觉便会自动消失。

Keep in mind the old adage⁷ that "no news is good news" and resist the tendency to message first.

记住那句老话“没有消息就是好消息”，不要一遇到困难就马上发消息求助朋友。

If something unpleasant happens, it is healthy to talk to someone and reflect on a situation that upsets us, especially if it is really important.

如果遇到了不愉快的事，而且这事尤为重要时，合理的做法是与人交谈，反思造成困恼的原因。

However, to have this as the first option to manage every doubt is not healthy.

不过，遇到任何问题首先想到找他人帮忙而不是自行解决，那就不合理了。

Being able to wait and let go of the desire to control each situation is a major key to overcoming anxiety.

等待以及放弃掌控欲，这才是战胜焦虑的关键。