The Ring Toss Gone Wrong

扔戒指出了问题

"Everything was a perfect fit on our wedding day-except my husband's ring. For the worse part of our first year of marriage, he would entertain me with ring tossing performances-'Watch how far I can fling my ring! It just flies right off!' Despite my urges to have it resized, and his insistence¹ his finger would 'fill it out' in time, the ring remained in a precarious² place, until an ill-fated beach trip, mere³ weeks before our two-year anniversary, when he decided⁴ he wanted just one more toss of the pigskin with a friend down by the water."

"婚礼当天，一切都非常完美--除了丈夫的戒指有点大。婚后第一年，他会表演扔戒指逗我开心，这一点都不好--'看看我能把戒指弹多远！你看，戒指飞起来啦！'尽管我让他去店里调一下戒圈大小，但他的手指却十分坚持--总能胖到填满戒指的！戒指还是有点大，滑来滑去的，但在一次命运多舛的海滩之旅途中（再过几周我们就结婚两年了），他决定和朋友再一次把猪皮扔向海里。"

I could see the moment it happened-him looking around the sand immediately following a throw. The ring was gone and I just about lost it. Some would say, 'Oh, it's just a ring. Those go missing all the time!'.

我已料想到了那一刻--扔完之后立马在沙子里找戒指！戒指不见了，我想肯定是丢了。有人会说，'哎呀，不就是一枚戒指嘛。戒指很容易丢的！'

Well, he finally got the message loud and clear. After a night of me fuming⁵ (with my wedding ring removed), he returned to the beach with a professional metal detectorist. Within minutes, this man found the ring (which had sunk deep into the sand instead of being swept away by the ocean). All was not forgiven, however, until my husband vowed⁶ to get the ring resized once and for all. As an apology meal, he made me a plate of onion rings.

最后，他终于明白这件事所传达的信息。在我暴怒一夜之后（摘了婚戒），他带着专业的金属探测器回到海滩上。几分钟之内，他就找到戒指了（深深的埋在了沙子中，没有被海水冲走）。但我还没有完全原谅他，直到他发誓会去改戒圈大小。为了表达歉意，他请我吃了洋葱圈晚餐。

The 'Where the Hell Have You Been?' Beef

'你到底去哪了'之类的牢骚

One night when I was four months pregnant, my husband came home hours later than I was expecting him, totally drunk and with a dead phone. (Not the first time that had happened.) Needless to say, I was furious and thus ensued a giant fight wherein I put forth⁷ the opinion that I couldn't count on him to be reliable, and he put forth the (slurred) opinion that I was trying to micromanage his every move. The evening ended with me circling the neighborhood in tears. Fortunately, we were able to have a more measured conversation the next day, and about two weeks later, he decided to stop drinking entirely⁸, which he did for almost three years.

怀孕四个月的某天晚上，丈夫到家的时间比我预期的晚了几个小时，当时他喝的酩酊大醉，手机还关机了。（并不是第一次发生这种事。）毫无疑问，我十分恼火。紧接着，我们大吵了一架。我说他一点都不值得信任，他声辩称（模糊地）我试图控制他的一举一动！最后的结果是，那晚我一个人流泪在小区里绕来绕去。幸运的是，第二天我们都克制了自己，大约两周过后，他决定戒酒（酒龄3年）！