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爸爸讲起冷笑话来,比西伯利亚寒潮更腻害
添加时间:2018-10-15 08:57:55 浏览次数: 作者:未知
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  • Despite birthday clowns and stand-up comedians1 dominating2 the scene, we all know that the best jokesters are dads with their punny humor and groan3-inducing quips. Although not everyone is a big fan of that type of comedy gold, there is a certain amount of appreciation4 any person can have for a well-timed pun. Especially if it's followed by thunderous laughter from the person and the classic finger-guns pose5. Scroll6 down below to see some of the best dad jokes around and don't forget to comment and vote for your favorites.

    众所周知,除了生日小丑和独角滑稽秀演员,最厉害的段子手就是各家的爸爸们。他们最擅长一词多用,妙语连珠。尽管他们这种喜剧风格并不是所有的人都钟爱,但对于一个不失时机的小笑话,任何人都会报以好感,哪怕是极少的一点好感。如果讲笑话的人讲完笑话又开始发出雷鸣般的傻笑,再加上一个经典的“枪”型手势,观众们更是控制不住要发笑了。往下翻,看看下面从全网搜集的最佳“爸爸笑话”。别忘了写番评论,给你最喜欢的投票。

    1.Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

    今天我的儿子问我“能给我张书签吗?”我顿时泪如泉涌。他已经11岁了,仍不知道我的名字叫Brian.

    So sorry Brian, one day he'll get it!

    Brian我真为你难过,有一天他会明白的。

    2.My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

    我妻子说我毫无方向感,为此她非常生气。所以我收拾好自己的行李就向右走了。

    I love this one.

    好喜欢这个笑话

    3.DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently7 an actress just killed herself.

    爸爸:我进城的路上一直在听收音机,听说有个女明星刚刚自杀了。

    MOM: Oh my! Who!?

    哦天呐!是谁呀?

    DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

    呃,我不记得了……我记得好像叫Reese什么什么吧

    MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

    妈妈: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

    DAD: No, it was with a knife……

    爸爸:不,好像是用一把刀

    Groan - nice one!

    大笑不止——这个笑话真不错!

    4.Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

    你知不知道,第一份法国薯条其实不是在法国诞生的?它们是在希腊诞生的。

    This was so stupid that i actually laughed out loud.

    这个笑话好蠢,我都笑出声了。

    5.If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

    如果一个孩子拒绝在午睡时间睡觉,他们会因拘捕获罪吗?

    If the kid wants to avoid a rest, he should go under cover ;)

    如果那孩子想逃避追捕,他应该寻求掩护

    6.I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

    我在读一本关于反重力的书。我无法把它放下来!

    You must obey gravity, it's the law

    你不能违抗重力,这是自然法则。

    7.What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

    你怎么称呼一个既没有身体,也没有鼻子的人?没人知道

    What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.

    你怎么称呼一只没有眼睛的鹿?我也不知道。

    8.I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.

    我在亚马逊上订购了一只鸡,一个鸡蛋。我会让你们知道结果的。

    Eggs still came first, but for another reason. The first chicken had to come out of a chicken egg as it would otherwise not be called that. The animal that lay it however, does not nessecarily had to be a chicken (yet).

    肯定是先有蛋,才有鸡。不过我有新的解释。第一只鸡肯定是从鸡蛋里孵出来的,否则“鸡蛋”就不叫“鸡蛋”了。而下蛋的动物并不一定是鸡(或许还没进化成鸡)。

    9.What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language.

    世界上最少人使用的语言是哪种语言?手语。

    You got me.

    戳中我的笑点。

    10.My daughter screeched8, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me..

    我女儿对我尖叫说,“爸——爸,我说的话你一个字都没听到,对不对?”想跟爸爸说话,一开始就来这样一句,真奇怪啊!

    Nice one!

    这个笑话不错!

    11.A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

    在牙买加,一份苹果派的价格是2.5美元,在巴哈马群岛是3美元。由此可以知道加勒比海沿岸的派的价格。

    Ha!Nice

    不错

    12.My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."

    我妻子想用一只手解开我女儿身上的安全带,她说“那些只有一条胳膊的妈妈是怎么做到这件事的呢?”我不失时机的回复到,“独自一个人做到。”

    Ha!That was just before she swiped at you

    她听完一定会锤你。

    13.Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater.

    正义应该是一道冷盘。如果它是一道热菜,它就应该写作justwater

    Took me a few secs to get it but, well done.

    我想了一会儿才明白过来,干得好!

    14.My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.

    我的朋友一直对我说,“兄弟,振作起来!你的情况已经算不错了!幸好你不是被困在地下一个注满水的洞里!”我知道他是一番好意。

    A well is an underground hole full of water.

    “井”就是地下注满水的洞。

    15.MOM: "How do I look?" DAD: "With your eyes."

    妈妈:“我看起来怎么样?”爸爸:“用你的眼睛啊!”

    I need to use this for every person that asks me this question

    我会对每个向我问这个问题的人这样回答。

     6级    双语 


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    1 comedians [kəˈmi:di:ənz] efcac24154f4452751c4385767145187   第9级
    n.喜剧演员,丑角( comedian的名词复数 )
    参考例句:
    • The voice was rich, lordly, Harvardish, like all the boring radio comedians'imitations. 声音浑厚、威严,俨然是哈佛出身的气派,就跟无线电里所有的滑稽演员叫人已经听腻的模仿完全一样。 来自辞典例句
    • He distracted them by joking and imitating movie and radio comedians. 他用开玩笑的方法或者模仿电影及广播中的滑稽演员来对付他们。 来自辞典例句
    2 dominating ['dɒmɪneɪtɪŋ] 13cc65165a048c8f7a1b7616e78ca70d   第6级
    adj.有领导作风的;统治的,独裁的v.控制( dominate的现在分词 );在…中占首要地位;在…中具有最重要(或明显)的特色;在…中拥有最重要的位置
    参考例句:
    • He is dominating and active in manner. 他有领导作风而且能采取主动。 来自《简明英汉词典》
    • Gradually commodity production becomes the dominating form. 商品生产逐渐地成了统治的形式。 来自英汉非文学 - 家庭、私有制和国家的起源
    3 groan [grəʊn] LfXxU   第7级
    vi./n.呻吟,抱怨;(发出)呻吟般的声音
    参考例句:
    • The wounded man uttered a groan. 那个受伤的人发出呻吟。
    • The people groan under the burden of taxes. 人民在重税下痛苦呻吟。
    4 appreciation [əˌpri:ʃiˈeɪʃn] Pv9zs   第7级
    n.评价;欣赏;感谢;领会,理解;价格上涨
    参考例句:
    • I would like to express my appreciation and thanks to you all. 我想对你们所有人表达我的感激和谢意。
    • I'll be sending them a donation in appreciation of their help. 我将送给他们一笔捐款以感谢他们的帮助。
    5 pose [pəʊz] 0ukyP   第6级
    vt.造成,陈述;vi.摆姿势,装腔作势;n.姿势
    参考例句:
    • He sat in a relaxed pose. 他轻松自如地坐着。
    • He always strikes such a dignified pose before his girlfriend. 他总是在女友面前摆出这种庄严的姿态。
    6 scroll [skrəʊl] kD3z9   第9级
    n.卷轴,纸卷;(石刻上的)漩涡
    参考例句:
    • As I opened the scroll, a panorama of the Yellow River unfolded. 我打开卷轴时,黄河的景象展现在眼前。
    • He was presented with a scroll commemorating his achievements. 他被授予一幅卷轴,以表彰其所做出的成就。
    7 apparently [əˈpærəntli] tMmyQ   第7级
    adv.显然地;表面上,似乎
    参考例句:
    • An apparently blind alley leads suddenly into an open space. 山穷水尽,豁然开朗。
    • He was apparently much surprised at the news. 他对那个消息显然感到十分惊异。
    8 screeched [skri:tʃt] 975e59058e1a37cd28bce7afac3d562c   第10级
    v.发出尖叫声( screech的过去式和过去分词 );发出粗而刺耳的声音;高叫
    参考例句:
    • She screeched her disapproval. 她尖叫着不同意。 来自《简明英汉词典》
    • The car screeched to a stop. 汽车嚓的一声停住了。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

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