Consider what you truly want

好好想想：你究竟想要什么

Before you even think about logging on, you need to know what you want. "One of the things that people don't think about is that they should be sure what they're looking for," says Caroline Lovett, Qualified¹ Psychosexual Therapist and member of COSRT. "Is what they're looking for a sexual hookup or is what they're looking for a relationship? Those are quite different things."

上线前，搞清楚自己想要什么。"人们不会考虑这样一件事：明确自己的对象目标，"持证性心理治疗师、COSRT会员卡罗琳·洛维特说道。"他们究竟是只想约炮还是想认真谈一段感情？这是两码事。"

Beware of scammers

小心诈骗犯

The ugly truth is that online scammers thrive on dating sites. Whether or not you fall prey² to their tricks likely depends on your personality. One study from the British Psychological Society (BPS) found that sensitive and less emotionally people are more likely to fall for scams on the most popular dating sites.

真相是丑陋的：约会网站上流窜着各类诈骗犯。你的个性决定了你是否会落入他们的圈套。英国心理学会开展的一项研究发现：在最受欢迎的约会网站上，敏感且情绪波动较少的人更容易上当受骗。

Be your authentic³ self

做真实的自己

Instead of being fake, you should try to show an authentic version of yourself. "That goes on in regular dating too to a certain extent," warns Lovett. "You put your best self forward. But in the cyber dating world, it doesn't even have to be a version of yourself. It can be a made-up persona."

不要装了，尽可能的呈现自己的真实面吧。"这在一定程度上也适用于普通约会，"洛维特警告道。"呈现自己最好的一面。但在网恋世界中，你呈现的不一定是你自己，可能只是一个虚构出来的形象。"

Quit bragging⁴ about yourself

不要吹嘘自己

Confidence is an attractive quality, but bragging is not. Research from the University of Iowa suggests that bragging, i.e. constantly saying positive things about yourself, could lead to you being seen as less socially attractive. While it's fine to be proud of who you are, you should also try to be modest.

自信是一种迷人的品质，吹嘘可不是。爱荷华大学开展的研究表明：吹牛，即经常性地肯定自己，可能会导致自己的魅力减弱。虽然为自己感到自豪是一件好事，但也得适可而止、保持谦逊啊。

Choose a friendly picture

选一张友好的照片做头像

Let's talk about the trickiest⁵ task of all; choosing your profile picture. As Lovett explains, the image you choose rests largely on what you want. "A friendly image is always going to be more appealing to someone who is looking for a relationship," she explains. "If it's more about a hookup or sex, the image is going to be more provocative⁶."

最棘手的部分：挑选头像。洛维特解释道，你选的照片很大程度上取决于你想要什么。"对于寻找另一半的人而言，一张友好的照片总是更具吸引力，"她解释道。"但如果你更想找个炮友或性伙伴，那挑逗性照片的效果可能更佳。"

Be upfront about what you expect

坦白你的预期

Trying to play it cool? Perhaps you should stop. "Based on the clients I've worked with, their experiences are better when they've been upfront," says Lovett. "You've got nothing to lose. You don't know this person. You haven't established a relationship with them."

试图玩'假装无所谓'这一招？或许你该停手了。"以我的客户情况为参照，坦白心中所想的效果更加，"洛维特说道。"你又不会失去什么。你根本就不认识这个人呀，你还没和他/她确立恋爱关系呢。"