About 15 years ago, I was asked to serve on the board of a nonprofit that I had been affiliated¹ with for many years. I chaired a particularly contentious² meeting and used a lot of humor to break the tension in a way that defused some of the rancor³ and allowed us to discuss a difficult topic.

大约15年前，我被任命为一个非营利组织的董事，我已经在这个组织里工作了很多年。我主持了一场很有争议的会议，为了能让大家对一个棘手的话题展开讨论，我使用了很多幽默来打破紧张的局面，缓解双方敌意。

After the meeting, a board member that I had known for many years only in the context of this nonprofit came up to me and said, “Thanks, I had no idea that you were funny.”

会议结束后，一位我在这个非营利组织里认识多年的董事会成员来到我面前说：“谢谢，我不知道你原来很幽默。”

This comment came as a surprise. I love humor. I’m not a world-class comedian⁴ by any standards, but I often find moments of levity⁵ (or absurdity) in the situations around me and then share them with others (with varying levels of success). But, this nonprofit was a pretty staid place, and there were few situations in which I thought it was appropriate to let that side of my personality shine through.

这个评价令人惊讶。我喜欢幽默。但无论从哪方面讲，我都算不上世界级喜剧演员。而我总会发现身边轻松诙谐(或无厘头)的时刻，然后分享给别人(取得了不同程度的成功)。但是，这个非营利组织是一个相当古板沉闷的地方，能让我秀出另一面的场合非常少。

I think a similar thing happens to a lot of extroverts⁷ out there. Extroversion⁸ is one of the Big Five personality characteristics. It reflects people’s motivation to be engaged and visible in social situations. Extroverts like to engage with lots of people, to speak in public, and to be noticed for positive things they are doing in group situations.

我认为很多外向的人都经历过类似的事情。外向性是五大人格特征之一。它反映了人们参与和在社交场合中抛头露面的动机。外向的人喜欢同很多人交往，在公共场合讲话，在群体场合做积极的事情来获得关注。

However, research on personality consistently demonstrates that the situations people are in have a stronger influence on behavior than the motivation provided by personality traits. That is, most people find a way to act appropriately in social settings.

然而，对人格的研究持续表明，人们所处情境对行为的影响，比人格特征引发的动机更强烈。也就是说，大多数人都是根据社交环境而采取适当行动方式的。

WHY YOU HIDE YOUR EXTROVERTED⁹ SIDE

为什么你隐藏了外向的一面

Even if you’re an extreme extrovert⁶, you may find that many people in your workplace are unaware¹⁰ of that, particularly early in your career. This may be particularly true for your supervisors¹². Often, when you first start out in an organization, you have few chances to be the focus of attention.

即使你是一个极端外向的人，你也可能会发现，在你工作的地方很多人都没有意识到这一点，尤其是在你的职业生涯早期的时候。你的主管，更是如此。通常来说，在你进入一个机构的初期，你几乎没有什么机会成为关注的焦点。

You are taking orders from others and attending presentations rather than giving them. You may not have a lot of social time with many of the people above you on the food chain either.

你接受别人的命令去听演讲而不是给别人演讲。你可能也没有很多时间与食物链上端的人交往。

Plus, when you are new to any organization–even in a more senior role–you should listen more than you speak in order to ensure that you understand the workplace and its culture. So, people might not get to know how outgoing you like to be.

此外，当你新加入任何一个组织，即便在高层职位，你也应该多倾听少讲话，来确保你对工作场合及其文化的了解。因此，人们可能没办法了解你其实也想跟大家打成一片。

SPEAK UP ABOUT YOUR LOVE OF SPEAKING UP

说出你对表达的热爱

There are lots of opportunities for which your extraversion might be a good fit. Having the chance to interact with clients, to give presentations, or to take people to dinner might be something you would thrive on.

适合你表现出外向一面的机会有很多。得到与客户互动的机会、进行演讲或带人去吃晚餐可能会是突显你的机会。

But, you might not get asked to take on these responsibilities if people don’t know how much you would enjoy them.

但是，如果人们不知道你有多外向，并乐在其中，那么你可能就不会被要求来担负这些责任。

Which means you need to tell them.

这意味着，你需要告诉他们。

Strange as it may seem, you might need to go out of your way to let your supervisors know how much you enjoy being out in front of people. This is a case where you want to tell people what you want rather than showing them.

这可能看起来有些奇怪，你可能要想尽办法，让你的主管知道，你有多喜欢出现在人们面前。在这种情况下，你要告诉人们你想要的是什么，而不是表现出来。

There is no need to call attention to yourself inappropriately at work just to let people know you enjoy these interactions. Instead, sit down with your supervisor¹¹ and talk about ways that you might engage more with others as part of your role.

在工作的时候，你没有必要做不合时宜的举动来吸引别人的注意，来刻意地告诉大家你喜欢互动。相反，你可以和主管坐下来，聊聊你可以更多与他人互动的另一面。

As an added bonus, if you really like public speaking, you may end up looking like a hero. Many people find speaking in public to be stressful and a chore. So, if it fits in your wheelhouse, they will be happy to turn presentation duties over to you.

作为额外的奖励，如果你真的喜欢在公众面前讲话，大家可能会觉得你像个英雄。许多人觉得在公共场合讲话有压力，是件苦差事。所以，如果这件事你很在行，他们会很乐意地把展示的责任交给你。