Obviously, when you end things with your a-hole, jerky ex, all you wanna do is talk about what a jerky a-hole he is. But before you launch into a tiradeabout his emotional unavailability, check out these expert tips on the etiquette¹ of what not to say after your relationship is dunzo-at least for your own sake。当你跟极品前任分手后，显然最想做的莫过于到处谈论他到底是怎样一个极品。但是，在你唾沫四溅地数落他情感无能前，还是先看看下面这些内行建议，注意分手后哪些事不该再提——就当是为你自己好吧。

1. He was broke. 他是个穷屌丝。

Everyone has a different lifestyle and just because he couldn't match yours, that doesn't mean he's a bad guy-or even cheap. Don't sound high maintenance by complaining about his lack of funds。每个人都有各自生活方式，不要因为他跟你不在同一档次，就狭隘认为他很挫或很穷。不要抱怨人家是屌丝，搞得自己多么“白富美”似的。

2. Everything he thought/did/said was terrible. 他简直一无是处。

Even though you broke up, you shouldn't systematically² annihilate³ of every good thing he did or every good time you had. If someone brings up a great memory of the two of you, take a deep breath and avoid the urge to say, “Yeah, but what about the time he did [insert something horrible here].” And definitely don't badmouth your ex to the max in front of your new man. If your current BF thinks you may still have strong-even strongly negative-feelings for your past guy, he may wonder if you've actually moved on。就算已经分手，也不要决绝地抹杀掉他的优点，或你俩在一起时的快乐时光。要是有人说起你们俩，可以试着深呼吸，不要冲口就抱怨“哼，可他做的那些挫事……”；而且，千万不要在现任男友面前肆意诋毁前任，要不然现任男友或许会想：到现在还对那家伙咬牙切齿，你是不是根本就没忘记他呢？

3. He was always a jerk. 他就是个混球。

Well, then why did you date him for X number of months or even years? Saying this just makes you look bad, and worse, bitter. Sure, it's always important to look back and see if there were any red flags you missed-so you can be well aware of what to look for next time-but you don't need to broadcast all the warning signs to everyone you know。既然他是个混球，那你还跟他谈了几个月甚至几年的恋爱？说出这两个字眼只会让别人觉得你更傻更心酸。自然，分手后有必要反省自己是否忽视了某些危险信号，以免下次再犯同样错误，但你完全没必要把你俩之间的问题广而告之。

4. You still love him。你还爱着他。

We all go through heartache and have experienced a breakup. Telling anyone that you still love him will only prolong the healing. Fake it till you make it. Reframe this to something like, “We had a good run, and I wish him the best.” Even if you don't。谁都遇到过心碎和分手。如果逢人就说你还爱着他，这只会让伤痛更弥久漫长。假装你已经不在乎他了吧！这样慢慢就会真的忘记他。要跟自己说：“我们毕竟有过快乐时光。希望他以后一切都好吧。” 哪怕你根本不想祝他幸福。

5. Anything super embarrassing about your ex. 他的超级糗事。

If you're willing to share awful story after awful story about your ex, what does this say to your pals⁴ or your current man?如果你总是无休止地讲述前任的囧闻糗事，那你想让朋友或现任男友忍受到什么时候呢？

6. Anything he told you in absolute confidence. 他的绝对秘密。

In that same vein⁵, don't show you're untrustworthy by spilling major secrets about your ex's family, childhood, what have you. However bitterly things ended, the fact is that you were in an intimate relationship with this person. Often, because he's an “ex” you may rationalize that any oaths made are off the table but keeping promises and living with integrity is just a good way to lead your life。同理，不要泄露前任家庭、童年或其他方面的秘密，搞得自己很不值得信任。不论分手多么痛苦，也不要忘了：至少曾经你和他非常亲密。有时候因为他已经是“前任”，你会理所当然认为你和他之间的所有承诺都已作废——但是，遵守承诺、正直诚恳才是美好生活的王道。

7. Qualities that you loved about your ex。他身上那些你喜欢的优点。

Some people have the opposite problem when it comes to exes and find themselves gushing⁶ about the awesome⁷ things he did, gifts he gave you, how he made you feel special, blah blah blah. For the sake of any new relationship you might be forming, and your own sanity⁸, get your mind-and mouth-out of the past。相反，有些人一想起前任就会呱啦呱啦说起他做了哪些有趣的事情、送过什么样的礼物，或他如何让自己觉得独一无二等等。顾及到目前的新恋情以及你的理智，还是控制好自己的思绪和嘴巴吧。

8. How much your parents loved him。你父母如何喜欢他。

When you take a new guy to meet your folks, don't prime him by comparing how your exes fared with your family-especially if your mom and dad loved someone you previously⁹ dated. The guy is probably nervous enough trying to live up to your （and their） expectations-he doesn't need the ghost of your ex-bf taunting¹⁰ him, too。当你带新任男友见你父母时，最好不要预先告诉他你的前任来见家长[微博]时如何如何——尤其是不要告诉他你的父母多么喜欢你的前任。为了达到你或你父母的期望，新任男友相比已经够紧张了，又何苦还要遭受你前任阴影的折磨呢？

9. Negative qualities your ex had that your current guy has. 和现任男友相同的缺点。

If you really want to piss your current boyfriend off, mention that something he does that you totally hate reminds you of your ex. This kind of comment never leads to anything positive, trust us。如果你就是想把现任男友气走，那就跟他说：你让我想起了前任，你俩都有同样的毛病！相信我，这么说的话，你绝对不会看到好脸色的。