如何与自己“谈恋爱”

How to fall in love with yourself?

如何爱上你自己？

We are constantly bombarded with visions of how we are not good enough or how we need to improve ourselves. And it’s not only external things that cause us to have such low self-esteems and feel bad about ourselves either. Maybe you think all the negative-self talk is your way of being real with yourself. Little things like: I’ll never get it done, I don't deserve that, why would they want to help me? oh I could never wear that, and I'm not smart enough. Instead of focusing on and telling yourself what you can't do try focusing on what you can do。

我们总是被这些想法狂轰滥炸：觉得自己不够好，需要完善自我。不只是外在的因素让我们自尊心不够或者觉得自己不好，也许你会觉得，这样自我否定的消极对话是你内心对自己的真正看法，那些都是生活中的琐事：我永远办不好这件事；我不值得；他们为什么想帮我？唉，我真不该穿那件衣服；我不够聪明....。。现在，我们需要转变注意力：试着去关注那些我们能做到的，而不是那些我们做不到的。

Here are a few ideas you can try to build yourself up and fall in love with yourself all over again。

下面这些小贴士，会让你变得更强大，重新爱上你自己：

1. Focus on your strengths. We all have strengths and luckily they are not all the same. Do things you are naturally good at and enjoy and you will build self confidence, efficiency and pride。

聚焦自己的强项。我们都有强项，很幸运，大家的强项各有不同。做一些你天生擅长的事情，享受过程，你会建立自信、效率和骄傲。

2. Be proud of your accomplishments¹. No matter how big or seemingly small your accomplishments are you should be very proud of each and every one of them. Whether it's completing high school, university, starting your own company, having kids and raising a family, completing a project that's hanging around for far too long, be proud. Celebrate the small and large accomplishments and everything in between。

为自己的成功感到骄傲。为自己的每一次成功感到骄傲，不论大小。也许是完成高中学业，可能是从大学顺利毕业，也许是开了自己的公司，有了孩子，开始养家糊口，也可能是完成了一个拖了很久的项目，这些都值得骄傲。为自己这些大大小小的成功的一切喝彩。

3. Get excited about who you are. Celebrate your uniqueness. Maybe you're a very caring individual, efficient, or adept² to solving problems. Embrace it. Be proud that you're not like everyone else in your social circle. People love you for being you。

很开心，我是这样的人。庆祝你的独一无二。也许你富有爱心，也许你办事很有效率，又或者你解决问题很老道。拥抱你的特别。你应该感到骄傲，因为你跟你的社交圈里的其他人都不一样。正因为你是你，所以大家才会爱。

4. Share your talent. If you've got a talent share it with the world. If you can write — write, if you can dance — dance, if you can organize …well you get the picture. Believe it or not there are people out there who could benefit greatly from you sharing your talents. Ever notice how giving to others makes you feel so incredible about yourself?

分享你的才华。如果你天赋异禀，记得跟全世界分享。如果你文笔很好，那就写作吧；如果你舞跳得很棒，那就跳给大家看；如果你组织能力强，呃，你懂的。不管你相信与否，这世界上总会有人会因为你分享的才华而获益匪浅。你更应该注意的是，这样的分享过程，会让你觉得自己很棒。

5. Forgive yourself. Guilt³ is a weird⁴ thing. All guilt does is hold us in the past reliving something we wish we could change. Not going to happen I'm afraid. Forgiveness is a choice. Forgive yourself. The past is the past (I know you've heard this before but the more you hear it the more you may start to believe it). Forgive yourself, apologize and move on。

原谅你自己。内疚是件很奇怪的事情。内疚感只能让我们纠结着过去不放手，老是想着要是重来一遍一切会不一样。不过我想应该什么都不会发生。宽恕其实是种选择，原谅自己，过去的就让它过去吧(我知道你以前肯定也老是听到这句话，不过听到次数越多，你就越应该相信)。原谅，道歉，然后继续向前。

6. Do something just for you. Take time for yourself and just relax. Rest both your mind and your body. Rejuvenate⁵ by sitting quietly listen to soft soothing⁶ music or watch the wonders of nature from your own backyard, balcony or window. Treat yourself to a massage⁷ or spa day. Whatever it is that makes you feel special and relaxed … do it。

为自己做点什么。给自己留点时间，放松下。让你的身心都能好好休息下。静静地坐着，听着抚慰心灵的轻音乐，或者从后院、阳台或窗户看出去，欣赏大自然的奥妙奇景，这些都会让你变年轻。去做做按摩或者泡泡温泉，犒劳一下自己。不论是什么让你觉得很特别很放松，去做就好。

Love yourself. Take pride in all your unique glory. Maybe you're quirky and have a very different talent. Embrace it. Flaunt⁸ it and share it with the world!

爱自己，为自己所有独一无二的魅力感到骄傲。也许你有点奇怪，有点不同常人的才华，拥抱你的特别。要炫耀，然后跟全世界分享。