Restaurant:

Waiter: How did you find your steak, sir?

Customer: I just looked next to the potatoes and there it was.

Job Interview:

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years?

Applicant¹: I’d say my biggest weakness is listening.

Zoo:

Visitor: Why do you have a fence around the polar bear exhibit?

Zookeeper: It’s to keep the polar bears in.

Visitor: But the sign says they’re from the Arctic.

Zookeeper: Yes, but they’re not on vacation.