I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.

Bill Hicks

Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window, except that the birds might eat them.

Dr. Martin Henry Fischer

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota¹.

Fran Lebowitz (1950 - )

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity² to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

Hunter S. Thompson (1939 - 2005)

Everything is a drug. Family, art, causes, new shoes... We're all just tweaking our chem to avoid the void.

Joss Whedon, Twitter, 06-27-13

Reality is a crutch³ for people who can't cope with drugs.

Lily Tomlin (1939 - )

I love drugs, but I hate hangovers, and the hatred⁴ of the hangover wins by a landslide⁵ every time.

Margaret Cho, weblog, 10-30-03

Drugs have taught an entire generation of Americans the metric system.

P. J. O'Rourke (1947 - )

[Addiction's] not about placating⁶ the bad dog - it's about feeding the good dog. You still have to feed the bad dog, but only enough so that the ASPCA doesn't bring you up on charges.

Robert Downey Jr., Entertainment Weekly, 11-21-08

The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor.', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs.'

Roy Blount Jr.

Junkies might be easy to knock down, but they're never fragile. They have souls like old leather shoes studded with steel, and they're about as much good as friends.

Scott Westerfeld, The Last Days, 2006

The truth is, marijuana probably isn't going to make you kill people. Most likely isn't going to fund terrorists, but pot makes you feel fine with being bored and it's when you're bored that you should be learning a new skill or some new science or being creative. If you smoke pot you may grow up to find out that you're not good at anything.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park, My Future Self n' Me, 2002