The teen years are often fraught¹ with door-slamming, eye-rolling and seeming insensitivity, even by kids who behaved kindly² before. Some parents worry that they're doing something wrong, or that their children will never think of anyone but themselves.

十几岁的孩子常常会摔门、翻白眼，还会显出一副冷冰冰的样子，甚至连之前表现友善的孩子也是这样。一些家长会担心自己做错了什么，或者担心孩子会永远不考虑别人而只考虑自己。

New research shows that biology, not parenting, is to blame.

新的研究显示，这种现象归咎于生理，而不是家庭教育。

In adolescence³, critical social skills that are needed to feel concern for other people and understand how they think are undergoing major changes. Adolescence has long been known as prime time for developing cognitive⁴ skills for self-control, or executive function.

在青春期，关心别人以及理解他人想法所需的关键社交能力发生着重大变化。长久以来，青春期一直被视为赖以自制或执行的认知能力形成的黄金时期。

'Cognitive empathy,' or the mental ability to take others' perspective, begins rising steadily⁵ in girls at age 13, according to a six-year study published recently in Developmental Psychology⁶. But boys don't begin until age 15 to show gains in perspective-taking, which helps in problem-solving and avoiding conflict.

近期刊登在《发展心理学》(Developmental Psychology)上一项为期六年的研究显示，女孩的“认知同理心”（即站在他人立场思考的心理能力）从13岁开始稳步增强。但这种有助于解决问题和避免冲突的换位思考能力，在男孩身上要到15岁才会开始增强。

Adolescent males actually show a temporary decline, between ages 13 and 16, in a related skill-affective empathy, or the ability to recognize and respond to others' feelings, according to the study, co-authored by Jolien van der Graaff, a doctoral candidate in the Research Centre Adolescent Development at Utrecht University in the Netherlands. Fortunately, the boys' sensitivity recovers in the late teens. Girls' affective empathy remains⁷ relatively⁸ high and stable through adolescence.

荷兰乌特勒支大学(Utrecht University)青少年发展研究中心(Research Centre Adolescent Development)博士生、此项研究作者之一若利恩?范德赫拉夫(Jolien van der Graaff)称，青春期男性在13到16岁之间一种相关的能力──“情感同理心”（即识别他人的感受并对此做出反应的能力）实际上会暂时减弱。幸运的是，男孩体恤他人感情的能力会在青春期后期恢复。女孩的情感同理心在整个青春期都会稳定在较高的水平。

The riptides are often noticeable to parents. Susan Burkinshaw has tried to cultivate empathy in her two teenage sons, 16 and 18, since they were toddlers, encouraging them to think about others' feelings. Yet one 'went through a period in eighth grade where he was just a bear to deal with. He always had an attitude,' says Ms. Burkinshaw, of Germantown, Md. 'Then as quickly as it came on, it turned back off again.'

家长们通常能注意到这种剧变。马里兰州日耳曼敦(Germantown)的苏珊?布尔金肖(Susan Burkinshaw)的两个儿子一个16岁，一个18岁，她从儿子蹒跚学步时就开始努力培养他们的同理心，鼓励他们考虑他人的感受。但布尔金肖说，“一个儿子上八年级时有段时间很难相处。他总是个性特别强。不过这种状况来得快去得也快，之后他又恢复常态了。”

The findings reflect a major expansion in researchers' understanding of cognitive growth during adolescence, according to a 2012 research review co-authored by Ronald Dahl, a professor of public health at the University of California at Berkeley. Researchers used to believe that both forms of empathy were fully⁹ formed during childhood.

加州大学伯克利分校(University of California at Berkeley)的公共健康教授罗纳德?达尔(Ronald Dahl) 2012年与他人共同撰写的一篇研究综述显示，相关发现反映出研究者对青春期认知发展的理解有了重大拓展。研究人员曾认为，这两种形式的同理心都完全形成于儿童时期。

Now, it's clear that 'the brain regions that support social cognition, which helps us understand and interact with others successfully, continue to change dramatically' in the teens, says Jennifer Pfeifer, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Oregon in Eugene. Preliminary research in her lab also suggests cognitive empathy rises in teens. The discoveries serve as a new lens for exploring such teen behaviors as bullying¹⁰ and drug abuse.

俄勒冈大学尤金分校(University of Oregon in Eugene)的助理心理学教授珍妮弗?普法伊费尔(Jennifer Pfeifer)表示，如今我们已经清楚地认识到，“支持社交认知的大脑区域（帮助我们成功地理解他人并与他人交往）在青春期持续发生戏剧性变化”。她所在实验室的初步研究还暗示，认知同理心在青春期有所增强。这些发现为我们探索青少年恃强凌弱和滥用毒品等行为提供了新的视角。

Kids who develop affective and cognitive empathy form healthy relationships and argue less with their parents, research shows. Perspective-taking continues to be central for adults on the job, helping¹¹ in designing and selling products and services, building user-friendly devices, and working smoothly¹² with others with diverse viewpoints and backgrounds.

研究显示，情感同理心和认知同理心发展良好的孩子能够与父母建立健康的关系，争执也比较少。换位思考能力在成年人的工作中仍扮演着中心角色，能够帮助人们设计和销售产品和服务，开发用户友好型设备并帮助他们与观点、背景各异的其他人顺利合作。

Affective empathy is grounded in the limbic region of the brain, which regulates emotions. This capacity begins developing in infancy¹³ when parents respond sensitively to babies' emotions. Children learn to practice empathy by watching their parents and by experiencing it themselves-being treated well by adults who respond warmly to their feelings, says Anthony Wolf, a Longmeadow, Mass., psychologist, author and speaker.

情感同理心植根于大脑的边缘区，这一区域的功能是调节情绪。在婴儿时期，当父母对宝宝的情绪做出体贴入微的回应时，这种能力就开始发展了。马萨诸塞州朗梅多(Longmeadow) 的心理学家、作家兼演说家安东尼?沃尔夫(Anthony Wolf)称，儿童通过观察父母行为及亲身体验（受到对他们的感受做出热情回应的成年人的关爱）来学习换位思考。

Cognitive empathy arises from a different part of the brain, the medial prefrontal cortex, which continues developing later, through adolescence. But the two are linked; children's affective empathy predicts their level of cognitive empathy as teens, says a forthcoming study by Caspar Van Lissa, a doctoral candidate at Utrecht's adolescent-research center.

认知同理心源自大脑的另一部位──脑内侧前额叶皮质，这种能力之后会继续发展，贯穿整个青春期。但这两种同理心是有联系的；乌特勒支大学青少年研究中心的博士生卡斯帕?范利萨(Caspar Van Lissa)即将发表的一项研究显示，儿童时期的情感同理心能够预测青少年时期的认知同理心水平。

Parents can help instill affective empathy by encouraging children to walk in others' shoes. If Ms. Burkinshaw's kids saw a child being teased or treated badly, she asked them, 'If that had been you, what would you have wanted your friends to do to help?'

父母可以通过鼓励儿童设身处地来培养他们的情感同理心。如果布尔金肖的孩子看到其他孩子被取笑或者受到不友善的对待，她会问他们：“如果是你的话，你希望你的朋友们怎么帮助你呢？”

Her 12-year-old daughter Alexandra recently told her that several classmates had hurt another girl's feelings by blocking her from following them on Instagram. 'I said, 'What could you do to help her?' ' Ms. Burkinshaw says. Alexandra talked with her friends, and another mother also intervened. The girls apologized and invited the victim back into the group.

她12岁的女儿亚历山德拉(Alexandra)最近告诉她，有几个同班同学伤害了另一个女孩的感情，因为她们阻止她在Instagram上关注她们。布尔金肖表示：“我对女儿说：‘你会做些什么来帮助她呢？’” 亚历山德拉与她的朋友谈了谈，另一位母亲也进行了干预。这些女孩最终道了歉，并邀请受伤害的女孩回到她们的圈子里。

Adolescents' brains work particularly hard on perspective-taking; teens make heavier use than adults of the medial prefrontal cortex, says Sarah-Jayne Blakemore, a professor of cognitive neuroscience at University College London. That may be because understanding others' viewpoints takes more conscious effort for teens, while it becomes automatic for adults, Dr. Blakemore says. Perspective-taking continues to develop through age 21.

伦敦大学学院(University College London)的认知神经学教授萨拉-杰恩?布莱克莫尔(Sarah-Jayne Blakemore)说，青少年的大脑要费很大功夫来换位思考；他们对脑内侧前额叶皮质的使用得比成年人多。布莱克莫尔博士称，这可能是因为青少年理解他人的观点需要更多有意识的努力，而成年人则无须刻意努力。换位思考能力的发展会持续到21岁。

The decline in affective empathy among young teenage boys may spring at least partly from a spurt¹⁴ during puberty in testosterone, sparking a desire for dominance and power, says the study in Developmental Psychology. Boys who were more mature physically¹⁵ showed less empathy than others.

这项刊登在《发展心理学》上的研究称，青春期前期的男孩情感同理心减弱可能至少在一定程度上是由于青春期睾丸素激增，从而激发了控制欲和权力欲。生理上更成熟的男孩比其他男孩的同理心要弱。

Boys also feel pressure from peers and some adults to 'act like a man,' which they often define as being detached, tough, funny and strong, says Rosalind Wiseman, Boulder¹⁶, Colo., author of 'Masterminds and Wingmen,' a new book about teen boys. They may suppress feelings of empathy so they can join in joking and teasing with peers, she says. 'Humor is the social glue among boys, and empathy would be a brake on what they can and cannot joke about.' So some kids 'stop listening to their gut¹⁷.'

科罗拉多州博尔德(Boulder)的罗莎琳德?怀斯曼(Rosalind Wiseman)是《策划者和幕僚》(Masterminds and Wingmen)一书作者，这是一本关于青春期男孩的新书。怀斯曼表示，男孩还会从同龄人和一些成年人处感受到“要表现得像男人”的压力，他们通常理解为要表现出冷漠、强硬、风趣和强壮。她说，他们可能会压抑想要换位思考的冲动，这样才能和同龄人一起开玩笑和调侃。她说：“幽默是男孩的社交粘合剂，而同理心是区别他们能开什么玩笑，不能开什么玩笑的制动器。”这样一来，一些孩子就“不再倾听他们内心的声音了”。

Also, some teens may appear insensitive because they're actually struggling to avoid being overwhelmed by their own feelings of empathy, says Brad Sachs, Columbia, Md., a psychologist, author and speaker. 'Teens who seem aloof¹⁸, hard-hearted or unkind may in reality be quite the opposite.'

此外，马里兰州哥伦比亚(Columbia)的心理学家、作家和演说家布拉德?萨克斯(Brad Sachs)表示，一些青少年显出一副冷漠的样子，其实可能是因为他们在努力避免被自己的同理心征服。他说：“看起来孤索离群、铁石心肠或者不友好的青少年其实可能恰好相反。”

Fathers seem to play a special role. Teens whose fathers are supportive, who say they feel better after talking over their worries with their dads, are more skilled at perspective-taking, says a 2011 study of 15- to 18-year-old boys in Developmental Psychology.

父亲似乎扮演着特殊的角色。《发展心理学》 2011年一项针对15-18岁男孩的研究显示，那些能得到父亲热情相助、宣称与父亲倾诉心中烦恼后情绪好转的青少年，更善于换位思考。

Yu Oen of Princeton Junction¹⁹, N.J., encourages his sons Grant, 19, and Sean, 15, to take others' perspective by discussing current events with them-including how the people involved must have felt. After the Boston Marathon bombing, they talked about how a runner who lost her legs must have felt when entering a restaurant where everyone else was wearing shorts.

新泽西州普林斯顿章克申(Princeton Junction)的友?温(Yu Oen)的儿子格兰特(Grant)和肖恩(Sean)一个19岁，一个15岁，他通过与两个儿子讨论近期发生的事件（包括讨论卷入其中的人会有什么感觉）来鼓励他们换位思考。波士顿马拉松爆炸事件发生后，他们讨论了一位失去双腿的跑步选手走进一家人人都穿短裤的餐馆时会有什么感觉。

'You can see their reaction: 'Wow, that is really tough,' ' Mr. Oen says. 'They feel it: 'What if that had been me?' ' Mr. Oen and his wife Shirley 'feel it too,' he says. 'And we take time to talk about these things.'

温说：“你能看到他们的反应：‘哇，那真的很不好受。’他们感觉到：‘要是这件事发生在我身上会怎样？’”他说，他自己和妻子雪莉(Shirley)“也有同感”。他还表示：“然后我们花了些时间来谈这些问题。”