I've taken a good look at my old love.

我开始对自己的婚姻进行了一番审视。

My husband of almost 20 years, Scott, has gained 15 pounds. Once a marathon runner, he now runs only down hospital hails. His hairline is receding¹ and his body shows the signs of long working hours and too many candy bars. Yet he can still give me a certain look across a restaurant table and I want to ask for the check and head home.

与我共度20年时光的丈夫斯科特如今体重已增加了15磅。从前矫健的马拉松运动员，如今只能在医院的大厅里跑来跑去了。他的头发越来越稀少，从体形上就能够判断出他工作的时间与糖果的摄取量有多么大了。不过，他仍能隔着餐桌用眼神向我发出暗示，然后我便立即结账，一起回家。

When my friend asked me: "What will make this love last?" I ran through all the obvious reasons:commitment,shared interests, unselfishness, physical attraction, communication. Yet there’s more. We still have fun, spontaneous good times. Yesterday, after slipping the rubber band off the rolled ap newspaper, Scott flipped² it playfully at me: this led to an all-out war. Last Saturday at the grocery, we split the list and raced each other to see who could make it to the checkout³ first.Even washing dishes can be a blast. We enjoy simply being together.

当我的朋友问我“是什么力量让我们的爱一直持续到现在”时，我仿佛一下子就看到了答案:承诺、共同的爱好、无私奉献、彼此相惜、良好的沟通等等。虽然我们已结婚多年，但仍能找到共同的乐趣、美好的时光时时刻刻都陪伴在我们身边。昨天，斯科特解开捆着报纸的橡皮筋后，故意弹了我一下，这一举动立即引发了一场“全面进攻”。上周六在杂货店，我们决定分开购物，看谁能够最先到结账处。不仅如此，就算在洗碗的时候我们都能够开一阵玩笑。我们很喜欢这种简单的快乐。

And there are surprises. One time I came home to find a note on the front door that led me to another note, then another, until}reached the walk-in closet.Iopened the door to find Scott holding a "pot of gold" (my cooking kettle) and the "treasure" of a gift package. Sometimes I leave him notes on the mirror and little presents under his pillow.

另外，我们之间还经常有惊喜出现。一天回家时，我发现门上贴着一张字条，上面的文字将我引向另外一张字条，就这样，我接连发现了几张字条后，就来到了壁橱前。当我打开壁橱的门时，发现斯科特正站在里面，一手拿着“金壶”—我的蒸煮锅，一手拿着一串精美的“宝贝”。有时，我也会把留给他的便条贴在镜子上，或把一些小礼物放在他枕头下。

There is understanding. I understand why he must play basketball with the guys. And he understands why, once a year, I must get away from the house, the kids一and even him一to meet my sisters for a few days of nonstop talking and laughing.

除了彼此间所需的情调外，我们更需要理解。我理解他为什么一定要与同伴打篮球;他也理解我为什么每年都会找个机会离开家，甚至离开他和孩子们，与我的姐妹们谈天说地。

There is sharing. Not only do we share household worries and parental⁵ burdens一we also share ideas. Scott came home from a convention last month and presented me with a thick historical novel. Though he prefers thrilllers and science fiction, he had read the novel on the plane. He touched my heart when he explained it was because he wanted to be able to exchange ideas about the book after I'd read it.

第三点就是分享。我们不但在家务、琐事，以及为人父、为人母的责任上有所分担，而且在思想上也会进行及时的交流。比如:斯科特上个月去开会，回来后他送给我一本厚厚的历史小说。虽然他更喜欢恐怖和科幻题材的小说，但他还是在飞机上将送我的这本小说提前读完。当他向我解释自己先读这本小说的目的是为了能够与我交流心得时，我深受感动。

There is forgiveness. When 1’m embarrassingly loud and crazy at parties,Scott forgives me. When he confessed losing some of our savings⁶ in the stock market, I gave him a hug and said, "It's okay. It’s only money”

第四点是宽容。当我在聚会上有失常态大声叫喊时，他原谅了我;当他向我承认股票亏本了的时候，我拥抱着他说:“没关系，损失的不过是金钱而已。”

There is sensitivity. Last week he walked through the door with that look that tells me it’s been a tough day. After he spent some time with the kids,!asked him what happened. He told me about a 60-year-old woman who’d had a stroke. He wept as he recalled the woman’s husband standing⁴ beside her bed, caressing⁷ her hand. How was he going to tell this husband of 40 years that his wife would probably never recover? I shed a few tears myself. Because of the medical crisis Because there were still people who have been married 40 years. Because my husband is still moved and concerned after years of hospital rooms and dying patients.

第五点是关注。上周某一天，当他一进门时，我便从他的表情看出，他的心情糟透了。他陪孩子们玩了一会儿之后，我就问他发生了什么事。他向我讲述了一位60岁的老妇人的事情，听说那个老妇人得了中风。老妇人的丈夫在她床边抚摸着她的手的情形一再浮现在丈夫的脑海中，他不禁流下泪来。他怎么忍心把她可能永远不会康复的消息告诉与她相伴了四十余年的丈夫啊!听了他的话，我也流了泪。整日在医院工作、看惯了生离死别的丈夫，仍会为四十年的夫妻面临这种境遇而悲伤，依然存有怜悯之心。

I guess our love lasts because it is comfortable. No, the sky is not bluer: it's just a familiar hue⁸. We don't feel particularly young: we've experienced too much that has contributed to our growth and wisdom, taking its toll⁹ on our bodies, and created our memories.

我想，我们的爱情之所以能够持续到现在，是因为这是一份能够让我感到舒服的爱。我们已共同经历了太多太多，正是这一切使我们变得更加成熟。岁月为我们带来智慧的同时，也创造了我们共同的记忆。