Being likeable has its benefits — you'll have an easier time scoring your dream job and making friends. Recently, some Redditors shared some advice for making yourself more likeable. Here are some of the top tips:
讨人喜欢的人常常可以得到很有好处—你可以更加容易地得到结交朋友或得到理想的工作。最近,一些Redditor分享了一些能够令自己变得更可爱的建议。下面是其中一些最实用的建议:
1. They smile — a lot. Seeing a smile makes other people happy, so if you're smiling when you're interacting with someone, he'll find you easy to like and friendly.
1. 他们经常—微笑。一个简单的微笑能够感染身边其他的人,所以,如果你在交流时能够微笑的话,别人会感觉你更加友好和平易近人。
2. They ask people questions. There's nothing people love more than to talk about themselves. They will find the conversation more memorable1 and positive if they spend time talking about themselves.
2. 他们会提问。谈论自己是人们最喜欢做的事情。如果对话中有关于谈话者自己的部分,那么他们就会发现对话是多么地难忘与积极。
3. They pay attention. Listen more to other people than you speak, and people will feel valued. Even if you're asking questions, people won't warm up to that if it seems you're not listening to what they're saying.
3. 他们会给予关注。多倾听,少倾诉,人们就会感觉受到重视。即使你问了问题,如果你看上去并没有在倾听的话,那么人们也不会表现出太大兴致。
4. They remember names. Names are such a core part of people's identity. Bringing their names up in the conversation will not only make them feel good, but they'll also appreciate the fact that you remember their names.
4. 他们会记住别人的名字。名字是一个人身份里面的一个核心部分。在谈话中提到他们的名字,不但会令他们感觉良好,也会让他们感激你记住了他们的名字。
5. They repeat and reinforce. Repeating what someone said to you and reinforcing it will help people feel validated2. And that's all people want — validation3.
5. 他们重复和确认。重复和确认别人对你说过的话会让人们感觉到被承认。而这就是人们所想要得到的。
6. They don't give unsolicited advice. Give advice to people when they ask you for it. If you go around telling people your opinion, you can come across as being overbearing and bossy4 even if you're just trying to help.
6. 他们不会给不请自来的建议。只在被问及时才提供建议。如果你到处去告诉别人你的意见的话,别人很有可能觉得你很霸道和野蛮,尽管你的初衷只是想帮助他们。
7. They don't make everything a competition. Trying to compete with everyone and one-up everything people say can quickly make you less likeable in their eyes.
7. 他们不会在所有事情上都作竞争。人们认为,尝试与所有人竞争或者在一件事情上与所有人竞争能够很快把你沦为不讨人喜欢的人。
8. They take responsibility. If you make a mistake, take responsibility for it. Acknowledge it, and don't point the blame at someone else.
8. 他们承担责任。如果你犯错了,那么就为此而承担责任吧。承认它,不要怪责别人推卸责任。
9. They get off their phones. People appreciate undivided attention, because it makes them feel like you're truly listening to them. It makes them feel that you value their presence and time.
9. 他们能够放下手机。人们会欣赏一心一意的关注,因为那样会让人们觉得你真的在倾听他们,真的在重视他们的存在与时间。
10. They don't make comparisons all the time and make it all about them.: Sometimes in an effort to relate to others, you can go overboard with comparisons. When someone tells you about their dog dying, you should listen with concern, because that's what they are seeking. If you chime in with a story of how your own dog died and how you were devastated5 so you know how they feel, the other person may feel that you're switching the topic back to you.
10. 他们不会总是作比较。有时,为了与他们交往,你可能会在作比较这件事情上走极端。当别人告诉你,他们的宠物狗死了,你应该关切地倾听,因为这就是他们想要的。如果你附和自己的狗是怎么死的故事以及你当时有多么地伤心,来说明你能够理解到他们的感受,他们可能会觉得你在把话题拉向自己。
11. They don't keep interrupting. You may get overexcited and interrupt people while they are talking, which can annoy them. It makes them feel that what they have to say is not that important to you.
11. 他们不会打扰。如果你过度兴奋而在别人的谈话中插话的话,别人很可能会觉得恼人。他们会觉得,他们所说的对你来说并不是那么重要。
12. They make eye contact. Making the right amount of eye contact with someone can help them feel rapport6 with you. You'll also come across as being more confident and trustworthy.
12. 他们会用眼神交流。适当的眼神交流能够使人与你产生共鸣,而你也会因此而变得更加自信与值得信赖。
13. They accept that other people will disagree with them. Everyone has different opinions — learn to be OK with that. Your way may not always be the right way for others, so don't try to convince them that they're wrong. Embrace your differences.
13. 他们会接受别人不同的意见。每个人都有不同的意见—学习去接受这一点。你的想法可能并不总是对的,而对于别人,不要总是试图去说服他们,他们错了。尝试去拥抱你们间的差异吧。
14. They don't constantly seek sympathy and attention. Likeable people don't need to constantly seek sympathy and attention to feel better about themselves.
14. 他们不会总是在寻求同情与关注。受欢迎的人并不需要持续的同情与关注来使他们保持感觉良好。
15. They don't try too hard. Focus on making yourself happy first, and people will gravitate toward you. If you try too hard, people can see through that.
15. 他们不会过度努力。首先,致力于使自己快乐,然后人们就会被你吸引。你过度努力的话,别人会知道的。
16. They have good hygiene7. Wear clean clothes, brush your teeth, and take showers.
16. 他们有良好的卫生习惯。穿干净的衣服,刷牙和洗澡。
1 memorable [ˈmemərəbl] 第8级 | |
adj.值得回忆的,难忘的,特别的,显著的 | |
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2 validated [ˈvælɪˌdeɪtid] 第8级 | |
v.证实( validate的过去式和过去分词 );确证;使生效;使有法律效力 | |
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3 validation [ˌvælɪ'deɪʃn] 第8级 | |
n.确认 | |
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4 bossy [ˈbɒsi] 第10级 | |
adj.爱发号施令的,作威作福的 | |
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5 devastated [ˈdevəsteɪtɪd] 第8级 | |
v.彻底破坏( devastate的过去式和过去分词);摧毁;毁灭;在感情上(精神上、财务上等)压垮adj.毁坏的;极为震惊的 | |
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