When nature calls, how quickly do you answer? How quickly can you do so legally? Sure, when a fullbladder settles into your consciousness, flailing¹ quickly to a designated facility might make you feel less like a person and more like a urine piñata. Letting loose—that is to say, urinating in public—is always a literal option but usually it comes with a price tag. The penalties vary significantly by country, even by city.

当你内急的时候，你能忍多久？你能忍到你可以尿的地方再尿吗？当然，如果你饱胀的膀胱已习惯于你的公德心，那么当你不在指定地方小便的时候，你可能会觉得你不像是个人类，而是个尿罐。放纵自我，也就是当众小便，总归是人之常情，但你往往要为此付出代价。不同国家，甚至不同城市，对随地小便的惩罚都有所不同。

When traveling, it really is best to know what’s up and plan accordingly. Because when your phone battery threatens swift death thus rendering² your toilet-finder app useless, you need to know if relief is worth its price.

当你旅游时，你最好事先知道这些代价并为此做好准备，如果因为手机没电而无法使用找厕所的应用软件，那么你需要了解一下你的放纵是否值得了这些代价。

Berlin，Germany

德国柏林

$0.00（0 Euro）

0美元（0欧元）

If you’ve had one too many steins of hefeweizen while visiting this capital city, feel free to let it flow. Seriously. Public urination in Berlin is completely legal. However, it seems a bit easier to pull it off if you’re man. Like most peeing-in-not-a-bathroom ventures, really. It’s considered slightly rude, but there’s no law against it.

如果你游览这座首都城市时喝了太多啤酒，你可以放心随地小便。真的。在柏林，这是合法行为。当然，如果你是个男人，你可能会放得更开一些，对你来说这可能就只是一次不在厕所尿尿的行为。你可能觉得这种行为有点粗鲁，但是它确实是合法的。

New Delhi，India

印度新德里

$1.58（100 Indian Rupee）

1.58美元（100印度卢布）

Peeing in the streets has never been legal. It wasn’t until 2011 that government officials erected³ signs reminding people that not only is the practice considered rude, it’s also likely to get the urinator slapped with a fine.

在印度，在街边小便从未合法过，但是直到2011年政府官员们才树立标牌提醒人们，随地小便不仅是一种粗鲁的行为，它还会让你遭受罚款。

Manila，Philippines

菲律宾马尼拉

$11.07（500 Philippine pesos or 8 hours (one day) community service）

11美元（500菲律宾比索或一天8小时的社区服务）

Manila officials give the full bladder Filipina public two options: pay up to the government or pay back to your community. (Or the obvious third option: hold it until you find an appropriate, legal receptacle.) Any violators caught have the choice to pay a fine or complete eight hours (“one day”) of community service. The penalty is the same for urinating, spitting, and defecating. All three are considered littering in this coastal⁴ city, so choose your bodily function and associated fluid carefully.

马尼拉官员给了在公共场合内急的菲律宾妇女两个选择：付钱给政府或偿还于社区。（或者还有选项三：找到厕所前一直忍着。）无论是谁，只要违规了，就要选择支付罚款或者完成一天8小时的社区服务，此项处罚适用于随地吐痰、小便以及大便。在这座海滨城市，这三种行为都被视为乱丢垃圾，所以请谨慎排泄。

Paris，France

法国巴黎

$38.63（35 Euro）

38.63美元（35欧元）

Although flaky croissants and romantic architecture are sure to get your bladder bulging⁵ in no time, you’d save about the cost of a nice bottle of wine to wait it out. Penalties used to total to around $644 (that would be a very nice du vin), but luckily the maximum is now around $39 USD.

牛角面包片和浪漫的建筑物会使你血脉喷张、膀胱饱满，但是你最好等到了合适的地方再开始发泄比较好，因为这能让你省下一瓶上好的红酒价钱。过去随地小便的罚款曾高达644美元（相当于一瓶顶级红酒），但幸运的是，现在罚款最高只有39美元。

New York, US

美国纽约

$50

50美元

Among those most often caught violating public urination laws are cab drivers, according to one attorney specializing in defending such cases. And where do these citations⁶ happen most frequently? Williamsburg.

根据一位专门处理此类案件的律师的说法，在那些随地小便的违法者中，出租车司机占了大多数，而且这类传讯多发生在威廉斯堡。

Brighton，England

英国布莱顿

$124（80 GBP, arrest, or literally⁷ cleaning it up）

124美元（80英镑、拘留抑或清理干净）

Apparently⁸ the huge amount of drunk University of Brighton students inspired a new public urination law addendum⁹ similar to Manila’s—yet far more mortifying¹⁰. Sussex Police officers ask nearby businesses to lend out cleaning equipment for violators to literally mop up their pee pee mess. Public shaming is nobody’s favorite, but it’s far better from the maximum penalty: arrest.

很显然，对于布莱顿大学里大量爱喝酒的学生来说，这项关于在公共场合小便的新法规所起到的作用和马尼拉的法律很像，甚至更加令人羞愧，英国南萨郡警员授意附近的商家租借清洁工具给这些违法者，让他们把自己的尿渍拖干净。没有人喜欢像这样的公开处刑，但这总比被拘留好多了。

Seattle，Washington, US

美国华盛顿州，西雅图

$125

125美元

A King County-wide law wasn’t even solidified¹¹ until 2013, previously¹² varying by city limits. Now if you’re anywhere within the Greater Seattle Area and pop a squat—to either urinate or defecate—you put yourself in danger of scoring a fairly hefty fine.

直到2013年适用于整个国王郡的相关法律才巩固下来，在此之前不同城市有不同法律。现在，只要在西雅图，你一旦蹲下，不管是小便还是大便，你都将面临巨额罚款的危险。

Dubai，United Arab Emirates

阿联酋迪拜

$136（500 United Arab Emirates Dirham）

136美元（500阿联酋迪拉姆）

The booming UAE metropolis¹³ isn’t keen to turn a blind eye to a person taking a piss in the streets. In 2012, the city of Dubai increased the number of personnel authorized¹⁴ to dole¹⁵ out tickets for public urination law violators.

繁荣的阿联酋大都市是不会对在街边小便这样的行为睁只眼闭只眼的，在2012年，迪拜城增加了执法人员的数量来给在公共场合小便的人开罚单。

Madison，Wisconsin, US

美国威斯康星州，麦迪逊

$187

187美元

This huge Midwestern college town actually fines the same for public urination as it does for underage drinking—two offenses¹⁶ that probably go hand-in-hand with astounding¹⁷ frequency.

实际上，这座美国中西部的大学城对在公共场合小便和未成年饮酒处以的罚金一样高，且这两种违法行为发生的频率惊人的高。

Queensland，Australia

澳大利亚昆士兰州

$228 — $455（from 374.99 to 614.95 AUS dollar）

228-455美元（374.99-614.95澳元）

The Sunshine State of down under has the legal explanation of what exactly constitutes as public urination:“In a proceeding¹⁸ for an offence [sic] against subsection (1), evidence that liquid was seen to be discharged from the vicinity of a person’s pelvic area is enough evidence that the person was urinating.”

澳大利亚的阳光州对在公共场合小便这一行为有着明确的法律解释：“在因违反条款（1）所定罪行而进行的法律程序中，只要有证据表明液体是从人的骨盆区域排出的，那么这个人就是在小便。”

That’s fair. Pouring one out must always be done from a higher elevation¹⁹ to keep legality clear.

这很公正，排便总是从高到低的这一说法具有清晰的合理性。

Brussels，Belgium

比利时布鲁塞尔

$360（250 Euro (maximum)）

360美元（最高250欧元）

Brussels went hard in 2012 when working to remedy poor street conditions. Officials trained and unleashed²⁰ undercover agents into the streets to shut down “incivilities” that don’t stop at public urination.

2012年布鲁塞尔在补救糟糕的街道环境时手段强硬，政府派出了受训过的卧底到街道上，来阻止随地小便以及更加不文明的行为。

Bonus pee crackdown

用其他手段惩罚随地小便

San Francisco

旧金山

SOME CITIES, instead of focusing on monetary²¹ or service punishments, CRACK DOWN ON PUBLIC URINATION WITH ART.

有些城市并没有使用罚款或社区服务的惩罚手段，而是用艺术来惩罚在公共场合小便的行为。

San Francisco took a page from Hamburg’s book and plans to paint several key pee-pee walls throughout the city with hydrophobic paint. Once that dries, nothing else will on top of it. Instead, when folks seek relief on a friendly Bay area wall, the urine stream should ricochet from the paint’s surface right back at them. Own your littering crimes?

旧金山效仿德国汉堡的做法，在经常被撒尿的几面“重点墙”上涂满了斥水性的颜料。颜料一干，什么水都没法留在上面了。相反的是，如果有人为图方便直接尿在墙上的话，尿液会直接从颜料上弹回自己身上。你还敢随地小便吗？