Share your plans

分享你的计划

Especially in couples who are dealing¹ with a serious act of betrayal like fidelity², sharing your plans before your partner's suspicions have the slightest chance of getting aroused is huge, Powell says. "If you're going to be late or you're going out to dinner with friends, that you give [them] a phone call to let [them] know," she says. That also means having a conversation about what the boundaries are that make your partner feel safe so you know what expectations need to be met.

对于正在处理背叛等严重行为的情侣而言，在另一半起疑前分享你的计划尤为重要，鲍威尔说道。"如果你回家晚了或者要和朋友一起聚餐，那就给另一半打电话，告知此事，"她说道。这也意味着需要谈谈能够让另一半感到安心的底线，这样你就知道他/她的期望值了。

Talk about previous betrayals

谈谈以前的背叛情况

Even if there hasn't been a betrayal in your relationship, old hurts can inform you or your partner's behavior. Maybe they had a partner or a parent who was unfaithful in the past. Maybe their parents lacked consistency³ growing up. Whatever it is, getting to the bottom of it can help you know how to move forward. "Understanding the root of people's triggers can help us be more sensitive in either avoiding them or anticipating them and collaboratively planning ahead," Balestrieri says.

即使你谈恋爱时从未背叛过另一半，但以前的伤口会说明你或另一半的行为。或者他/她的前任出过轨，又或者他/她的父母不忠过。也许他/她的父母在他/她成长的过程中缺乏一致性。无论是何种情况，深入了解有助于让你知道该如何继续发展。"了解人们背叛的根源有助于让我们更加敏感，既可以避免或预测背叛，也可以共同计划未来，"Balestrieri说道。

Share upcoming stressors

分享即将来临的压力

What tends to make us less consistent with each other? When we're stressed or overwhelmed. Getting in the practice of sharing upcoming stressful events can be huge in keeping trust strong between partners, Powell says. "As they're both disclosing really personal things about what's going on in their lives and what's stressing them out… they're also building that emotional connection with each other." And emotional connection breeds trust.

什么会导致我们行动不一？那就是压力来临或不堪重负时。分享即将来临的压力事件对于保持情侣之间的信任感尤为重要，鲍威尔说道。"因为另一半在诉说非常私人的事情（生活中发生的事情，令他/她感到压力的事情），所以情侣双方能建立情感联系。"而情感联系会产生信任感。

Practice active listening

练习积极倾听

All this talking doesn't do much good if both partners aren't practicing active listening. Listening without interruption and summarizing what the other person has said to be sure you've understood them are key parts of being an active listener. But Powell has another tip to help couples communicate honestly - after a partner has finished speaking (and the other partner listening), she has them ask an important question: Do you feel understood right now? "And they can answer yes or no," she says. "And then the partner gets that feedback as well."

如果双方都没有积极地听另一半讲话，那对话的效果其实不大。不要打断另一半讲话，只是倾听吧，总结他的说话内容，确保自己真正理解他/她的想法，这是成为一名积极倾听者的关键。但鲍威尔还有另一条建议，可帮助情侣双方坦诚交流--另一半讲完之后（还有一个在倾听），她需要问一个重要的问题：你现在懂了吗？"另一半可以回答听懂了或没听懂，"她说道。"之后，讲话的这个人再进行反馈。"