Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.

Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.

Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.

What do you call a factory that makes good products?

A satisfactory.

Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

How does a cucumber become a pickle?

It goes through a jarring experience.

Why did the computer go to the doctor?

Because it had a virus!

What do you call a dinosaur¹ with an extensive vocabulary?

A thesaurus.

Why did the chicken join a band?

Because it had the drumsticks.