Assef motioned with his hand, and the other two boys separated, forming a half circle, trapping Hassan in the alley¹. 阿塞夫挥挥手，其他两个男孩散开，形成半圆，将哈桑包围在小巷里面。

“I’ve changed my mind,” Assef said. “I’m letting you keep the kite, Hazara. I’ll let you keep it so it will always remind you of what I’m about to do.” “我改变主意了，”阿塞夫说，“我不会拿走你的风筝，哈扎拉人。你会留着它，以便它可以一直提醒你我将要做的事情。”

Then he charged. Hassan hurled² the rock. It struck Assef in the forehead. Assef yelped³ as he flung himself at Hassan, knocking him to the ground. Wall and Kamal followed. 然后他动手了，哈桑扔出石块，击中了阿塞夫的额头。阿塞夫大叫着扑向哈桑，将他击倒在地。瓦里和卡莫一拥而上。

I bit on my fist. Shut my eyes. 我抓紧拳头，合上双眼。

A MEMORY: 一段记忆：

Did you know Hassan and you fed from the same breast? Did you know that, Amir agha? Sakina, her name was. She was a fair, blue-eyed Hazara woman from Bamiyan and she sang you old wedding songs. They say there is a brotherhood⁴ between people who’ve fed from the same breast. Did you know that? “你知道哈桑跟你喝着同一个胸脯的奶水长大吗?你知道吗，阿米尔少爷?萨吉娜，乳母的名字。她是个漂亮的哈扎拉女人，有双蓝眼睛，从巴米扬来，她给你们唱古老的婚礼歌谣。人们说同一个胸脯喂大的人就是兄弟。你知道吗?”

A memory: 一段记忆：

“A rupia each, children. Just one rupia each and I will part the curtain of truth.” The old man sits against a mud wall. His sightless eyes are like molten silver embedded⁵ in deep, twin craters⁶. Hunched⁷ over his cane⁸, the fortune-teller runs a gnarled hand across the surface of his deflated⁹ cheeks. Cups it before us. “Not much to ask for the truth, is it, a rupia each?” Hassan drops a coin in the leathery palm. I drop mine too. “In the name of Allah most beneficent, most merciful,” the old fortune-teller whispers. He takes Hassan’s hand first, strokes the palm with one hornlike fingernail, round and round, round and round. The finger then floats to Hassan’s face and makes a dry, scratchy sound as it slowly traces the curve of his cheeks, the outline of his ears. The calloused¹⁰ pads of his fingers brush against Hassan’s eyes. The hand stops there. Lingers. A shadow passes across the old man’s face. Hassan and I exchange a glance. The old man takes Hassan’s hand and puts the rupia back in Hassan’s palm. He turns to me. “How about you, young friend?” he says. On the other side of the wall, a rooster crows. The old man reaches for my hand and I withdraw it. “每人一个卢比，孩子们。每人只要一个卢比，我就会替你们揭开命运的帷幕。”那个老人倚墙而坐，黯淡无光的双眼像滑溜溜的银子，镶嵌在一双深深的火山洞口中。算命先生弯腰拄着拐杖，从消瘦的脸颊下面伸出一只嶙峋的手，在我们面前做成杯状。“每人一个卢比就可知道命运，不贵吧?”哈桑放了个铜钿在他粗糙的手掌上，我也放了一个。“以最仁慈、最悲悯的安拉之名。”那位老算命先生低声说。他先是拿起哈桑的手，用一只兽角般的指甲，在他掌心转了又转，转了又转。跟着那根手指飘向哈桑的脸庞，慢慢摸索着哈桑脸颊的曲线、耳朵的轮廓，发出干燥的刮擦声。他的手指生满老茧，轻轻拂着哈桑的眼睑。手停在那儿，迟疑不去。老人脸上掠过一抹阴影，哈桑和我对望了一眼。老人抓起哈桑手，把那个卢比还给他。“让我看看你怎么样，小朋友?”他说。墙那边传来公鸡的叫声。老人伸手来拉我的手，我抽回来。

A dream: 一个梦境：

I am lost in a snowstorm. The wind shrieks¹¹, blows stinging sheets of snow into my eyes. I stagger through layers of shifting white. I call for help but the wind drowns my cries. I fall and lie panting on the snow, lost in the white, the wind wailing¹² in my ears. I watch the snow erase¹³ my fresh footprints. I’m a ghost now, I think, a ghost with no footprints. I cry out again, hope fading like my footprints. But this time, a muffled¹⁴ reply. I shield my eyes and manage to sit up. Out of the swaying curtains of snow, I catch a glimpse of movement, a flurry of color. A familiar shape materializes. A hand reaches out for me. I see deep, parallel gashes¹⁵ across the palm, blood dripping, staining the snow. I take the hand and suddenly the snow is gone. We’re standing¹⁶ in afield of apple green grass with soft wisps of clouds drifting above. I look up and see the clear sky is filled with kites, green, yellow, red, orange. They shimmer¹⁷ in the afternoon light. 我在暴风雪中迷失了方向。寒风凛冽，吹着雪花，刺痛了我的双眼。我在白雪皑皑中跋涉。我高声求救，但风淹没了我的哭喊。我颓然跌倒，躺在雪地上喘息，茫然望着一片白茫茫，寒风在我耳边呼啸，我看见雪花抹去我刚踩下的脚印。我现在是个鬼魂，我想，一个没有脚印的鬼魂。我又高声呼喊，但希望随着脚印消逝。这当头，有人闷声回应。我把手架在眼睛上，挣扎着坐起来。透过风雪飞舞的帘幕，我看见人影摇摆，颜色晃动。一个熟悉的身影出现了。一只手伸在我面前，我望见手掌上有深深的、平行的伤痕，鲜血淋漓，染红了雪地。我抓住那只手，瞬间雪停了。我们站在一片原野上，绿草如茵，天空中和风吹着白云。我抬眼望去，但见万里晴空，满是风筝在飞舞，绿的、黄的、红的、橙的。它们在午后的阳光中闪耀着光芒。

A HAVOC¹⁸ OF SCRAP¹⁹ AND RUBBLE²⁰ littered the alley. Worn bicycle tires, bottles with peeled labels, ripped up magazines, yellowed newspapers, all scattered²¹ amid a pile of bricks and slabs²² of cement. A rusted²³ cast-iron stove with a gaping²⁴ hole on its side tilted²⁵ against a wall. But there were two things amid the garbage that I couldn’t stop looking at: One was the blue kite resting against the wall, close to the cast-iron stove; the other was Hassan’s brown corduroy pants thrown on a heap of eroded²⁶ bricks. 小巷堆满了破铜烂铁，废弃的自行车轮胎、标签剥落的玻璃瓶子、卷边的杂志、发黄的报纸，所有这些，散落在一堆砖头和水泥板间。墙边有个锈蚀的铁火炉，炉洞像血盆大口般张开。但在那些垃圾之间，有两件东西让我无法移开眼光：一件是蓝风筝，倚在墙边，紧邻铁炉；另一件是哈桑的棕色灯芯绒裤，丢在那堆碎砖块上面。

“I don’t know,” Wali was saying. “My father says it’s sinful.” He sounded unsure, excited, scared, all at the same time. Hassan lay with his chest pinned to the ground. Kamal and Wali each gripped an arm, twisted and bent²⁷ at the elbow so that Hassan’s hands were pressed to his back. Assef was standing over them, the heel of his snow boots crushing the back of Hassan’s neck. “我不知道，”瓦里说，“我爸爸说那是犯罪。”他的声音自始至终充满了怀疑、兴奋、害怕。哈桑趴在地上。卡莫和瓦里一人抓住他一只手，将其从手肘扭转，压在哈桑背后。阿塞夫站在他们上方，用雪靴的后跟踩着哈桑的脖子后面。

“Your father won’t find out,” Assef said. “And there’s nothing sinful about teaching a lesson to a disrespectful donkey.” “你爸爸不会发现。”阿塞夫说，“给这头无礼的蠢驴一点教训，跟犯罪有什么关系?”

“I don’t know,” Wali muttered. “我不知道。”瓦里咕哝着。

“Suit yourself,” Assef said. He turned to Kamal. “What about you?” “随便你。”阿塞夫说，他转向卡莫,“你怎么说呢?”

“I... well...” “我……好吧……”

“It’s just a Hazara,” Assef said. But Kamal kept looking away. “他只是个哈扎拉人。”阿塞夫说，但卡莫把眼睛望向别处。

“Fine,” Assef snapped. “All I want you weaklings to do is hold him down. Can you manage that?” “好吧，”阿塞夫不满地说，“你们这些懦夫，帮我把他按住就好了。你们能做到吗?”

Wali and Kamal nodded. They looked relieved. 瓦里和卡莫点点头，看上去如释重负。

Assef knelt behind Hassan, put his hands on Hassan’s hips²⁸ and lifted his bare buttocks. He kept one hand on Hassan’s back and undid²⁹ his own belt buckle³⁰ with his free hand. He unzipped his jeans. Dropped his underwear. He positioned himself behind Hassan. Hassan didn’t struggle. Didn’t even whimper. He moved his head slightly and I caught a glimpse of his face. Saw the resignation in it. It was a look I had seen before. It was the look of the lamb. 阿塞夫在哈桑身后跪倒，双手放在哈桑的臀部，把他光光的屁股抬起。他一手伸在哈桑背上，另外一只手去解开自己的皮带。他脱下牛仔裤，脱掉内裤。他在哈桑身后摆好位置。哈桑没有反抗，甚至没有呻吟。他稍稍转过头，我瞥见他的脸庞，那逆来顺受的神情。之前我也见过这种神色，这种羔羊的神色。