Being likable is entirely¹ under your control. All it takes is the ability to pick up a few key social skills that build emotional intelligence (EQ).

受欢迎与否完全是可以由你自己来掌控的。你只需掌握一些用来修炼情商的社交小技巧即可。

To help you out, we sifted² through the Quora thread, "What are useful social skills that can be picked up quickly?" and highlighted our favorite answers.

为了帮助你，我们仔细筛选了Quora上“能够快速习得且行之有效的社交技巧有哪些？”的所有回答，并且为你整理出了我们最喜欢的答案。

Here are seven simple ways to start crafting a "million-dollar personality" and be the most likable person in the room:

以下7个简单的技巧便可以帮你打造一个“百万美元性格”，让你人气爆棚。

1. Make eye contact.

1. 眼神交流。

"It is an idiotically simple thing, but it remains³ one of the most impactful life hacks⁴ around," writes Quora user Brad Porter. "The most attractive quality in a person is confidence. But 'be confident' is not very good advice. Instead, find the best proxy⁵ for confidence, in terms of interactive⁶ behavior. And that's eye contact."

“这是一个不能再简单的技巧了，但是它仍旧是最有效的生活技巧之一，”Quora用户布拉德•波特写道。“一个人最有吸引力的品质就是自信。但是只是简单的说一句“要自信”，这并不是一个好建议。相反，就交流而言，你可以将自信更加具体化，即眼神交流。”

Start this habit immediately, says Porter. It requires no practice or special skill — just the commitment to meet someone's gaze and look them in the eye while conversing⁷.

波特建议马上开始使用这个技巧，使之成为习惯。这并不需要锻炼或者其他的特殊技能——你只需真诚的回视对方，在谈话当中认真看着对方的眼睛即可。

2. Put your smartphone in your pocket.

2. 把手机放在口袋里。

And keep it there until your conversation or meeting is over. Basil Chiasson puts it simply: "Pay attention. Look at them. Stop what you're doing. No interruptions."

当你的谈话或会议还没有结束时，手机最好一直放在口袋里。巴兹尔•恰森直截了当地说道：“集中精力。看着对方。放下手中的活儿。杜绝任何干扰。”

This is another simple, yet effective, habit that can be executed immediately and does not require any effort or skill.

这是另一个简单且有效的习惯，无需花很多精力就能立刻执行。

3. Call people by name.

3. 记住别人的名字。

The next time someone greets you by name or uses your name mid-conversation, remember how great that feels.

下一次如果有人叫着你的名字，给你打招呼，或者在谈话中提到了你的名字时，记住那一刻，你会十分开心的。

If you have trouble putting names to faces, try different strategies, such as writing them down or using imagery or rhymes associated with the name. Quora user Howard Lee suggests repeating their name verbally when you're first introduced and then twice more in your head.

如果你实在不喜欢当面提名道姓，你可以试试别的方法，比如写下来，或者使用联想法。Quora用户霍华德•李建议当你第一次认识一个人，你可以口头重复一次他们的名字，然后在你的脑袋里面再多过两遍。

4. Smile.

4.微笑。

Don't underestimate the power of smiling.

千万别低估了微笑的力量。

Additionally, laugh and tell jokes, recommends Quora user Craig Fraser. People unconsciously mirror the body language of the person they're talking to. If you want to be likable, use positive body language and people will naturally return the favor.

Quora用户克雷格•弗雷泽推荐说，除微笑之外，大笑和讲笑话都有用。人们会不自觉地印随与他们谈话的人的肢体语言。想要人气爆棚，那就多展示一些积极的肢体语言，人们会自然而然地带给你相应地回馈。

5. Give a firm handshake.

5. 握手要有力。

"Not too hard, certainly not limp and soft, and with no dominance play," writes Tony Vincent.

“不需要太用力，但也不要太柔太弱，没有任何主导力，”托尼•文森特写道。

Research shows that people decide whether or not they like you within seconds of meeting you. A firm handshake contributes largely to that first impression, as do strong posture⁸ and positive body language.[/en

调查显示：从第一眼见到你的几秒钟内，人们就能判断是否喜欢你。有力的握手能很大程度地提升你的第一印象，做一些强势的姿势或者是自己的肢体语言也有同样的效用。

6. Listen.

6.聆听。

Listen more than you speak, says Quora user Mark Bridgeman: "You have two ears, only one mouth. That's the ratio you should use them with."

“听要多过于说，”Quora用户马克•布里奇曼说道，“你有两只耳，一张嘴。这也是你在使用它们时所占的比例。”

7. Don't just listen — actively⁹ listen.

7.别傻听——要有回应地听。

Simply hearing words doesn't cut it. Likable people truly listen to the person they're talking to.

只去听所说的话是没什么用的。受欢迎的人听的是和他们对话的人。

Active listening requires four steps, writes Chiasson: hearing, interpreting, evaluating, and responding.

积极的聆听有四步，恰森写道：聆听，解释，评估，回应。

Step one requires dropping what you're doing and paying attention. Next, "paraphrase¹⁰ what you've heard and ask clarifying questions," she suggests. Evaluating means steering¹¹ clear of quick judgment¹² and jumping to conclusions: "Make sure you have all the pertinent¹³ information before forming or expressing an opinion." Finally, "give feedback to let the speaker know that you heard them," she writes.

第一步要求你放下手中的活儿，集中注意力。第二步，她建议道：“将所听到的自我消化，然后问一些关键问题”。评估意味着避免过早下结论：“必须要在形成和表达自己观点之前确认了解所有的相关信息。”最后，她写道：“及时回馈给说话者，让他们知道你在听他们说话。”